Beer Is Good Food

I remember the old Miller beer commercial: “When it’s time to relax, one beer stands clear……..” Like many other average guys, I like my occasional cold beer(s). All right, who am I trying to kid. I like A LOT of beers. Through the years, I’ve consumed so much beer that it’s a wonder I have any brain cells left. But, somehow, I continue to defy logic and live on!

I consider myself a bit of a beer connoisseur. At this stage of my life, I’ve sampled (and I use that term lightly) almost every variety. Light, dark, flavored, domestic, imported, wheat, unfiltered, etc. I have very seldom met a beer that I didn’t like. And it works both ways because a beer has never crossed my path that didn’t say, “Drink me!” As a result, we have built a rock solid relationship over the years.


The type of beer a man drinks can tell you something about him.

• A light beer drinker is possibly watching his weight and doesn’t really care about taste. Or, I dunno, he might just be a pussy.

• A micro-brewed beer drinker might be sophisticated and independent. He probably drives a BMW or an expensive sports car. He also might be an egotistical asshole.

• A straight up Budweiser drinker likely owns a pick-up truck stocked with Lynyrd Skynyrd CD’s. And he’s always got a 55-gallon drum of whup-ass he’s ready to dump on someone. So, do yourself a favor and stay out of this guy’s way! By the way, this is probably the same guy who will crush a beer can on his forehead.

• A person who sits at a bar and switches between different beers is a bartender’s worst nightmare. He’s probably a guy who can never make up his mind on anything. Or he might just have ADD.

• A person who drinks his beer out of a forty-ounce bottle in a paper bag probably owns an unregistered handgun and the latest Snoop Doggy Dogg CD.


Drunk (no pun intended) in moderation, beer not only tastes good but it becomes a conversation enhancer. After a couple of cold ones, I sometimes find myself uttering words that I didn’t know were in my vocabulary. For instance, after being three sheets to the wind, I might say something like, "Excuse my abruptness, but that's a delectable f*cking lunch meat tray!" Ironically, after too many beers, the uttering can quickly change to bumbling. Like Clint Eastwood used to say, “A man must know his limitations”. Personally, I often wind up saying, “In all of the confusion I kind of lost count. Was it five or was it six?” Wait a minute; Clint Eastwood said that too, didn’t he?

Another benefit of drinking beer is that it has the tendency to make people more interesting. I’m serious. Sometimes I’ll walk into a party and see people that I really have no interest in talking to. However, after knocking back a few pints, these idiots don’t seem that bad anymore. By the end of the night, I’ll usually say something like, “It was great talking to you. I really can’t understand why everyone thinks you’re an asshole.”

Think about it. Your wife asks you go to some boring social gathering. Relax. As long as there's beer there, you're going to meet some interesting people.

And, not that I’m talking from personal experience, but I’ve been told that beer can make members of the opposite sex seem MUCH more attractive. You walk into the bar and see Frankenstein’s daughter. By last call, she’s somehow transformed herself into Angelina Jolie. Not sure how this happens….

Benjamin Franklin was once quoted as saying, “Beer is proof that God loves us.” Interesting theory but I would like to add a line to Ben’s revelation: “Hangover’s are proof that God wants us drink in moderation.” Hangovers! What kind of bullshit is this? It’s like cashing in your winning lottery ticket only to be robbed as you leave the bank.

Anyone who’s ever been the victim of a hangover knows exactly what I’m talking about. After a night of fun and frolic, the fee will come due the next morning. And it will come in the form of a pounding headache, nausea and the general feeling of wishing you were somewhere or someone else. Chirping birds will feel like sledge hammers upon your skull. Walking from one end of the house to the other will feel like a cross-country journey. The ringing of the phone will be more than you can possibly handle! And of course, you’ll swear that you’ll never drink again but we all know that’s just the pain talking. If someone could ever come up with a hangover proof beer, he’d become an instant millionaire.

With this being said, beer is indeed good food. Cheers!

KW

September 11 - Eight Years Later

It’s hard to believe that it’s been eight years since a group of peaceful Muslims murdered close to 3000 innocent bystanders on American soil. It’s a day that will forever be burned into my mind. And yes, I’m still pissed about it!

Some people said we had it coming. More troubling was that some of these idiots were actually American. And Obama’s beloved Reverend (Jeremiah Wright) of twenty years explained that “the chickens have come home to roost". And Obama's recent pick for Green Czar, Van Jones, thinks that George Bush had something to do with 9/11! This amazes me. I got some of my own words for these people. If you think America is so bad and deserved what happened on September 11, 2001, then why don’t you pack your bags and GET THE F*CK OUT OF THIS COUNTRY!!!

Let me ask these spineless scumbags a few questions:

· Did two-thousand children deserve to become orphans on that day?
· 343 brave New York City Firefighters perished on that day. How did they have this coming?
· Did 2-year old Christine Hanson deserve to die? She was on United Flight 175 and on her way to her first trip to Disneyland.
· 200 desperate people jumped to their deaths from the World Trade Center. What did they do to deserve this fate?
· Did thousands of our brave soldiers deserve to be killed and maimed in the war on terror stemming from 9/11?

I love this country. The memories of what happened eight years ago are still as vivid as if they happened yesterday. So no, I don’t have much tolerance for anyone that says that we were, in any way, responsible for what happened on the fateful day. If you want to point the finger at someone, here’s an idea. How about blaming one of those “peaceful” Islamic extremist assholes with the boxcutters? Oh, I’m sorry, did you say I’m racially profiling? Well, f*ck you and the camel you rode in on!

And thank God we had George Bush in the White House eight years ago. If Al Gore was in charge he would have probably said that the burning twin towers were a result of global warming.. And can you imagine what Obama would have done? He would have probably invited Bin Laden over to the White house for a beer!

If I still sound a little pissed, you bet your ass I am!

So, here we are, eight years after that horrible day. The good news is that there have been no subsequent attacks since then. For this, I thank the brave men and women of our military. You are the best and your country owes you a debt of gratitude. And thanks to the CIA and FBI for doing a superb job.

God Bless America!

KW

Town Hall Nazis?

When Barrack Obama ran for President, he promised (among other things) that he’d be the Great Uniter. He would bring the country together and put an end to partisan politics. He was going to “reach across the aisle” and work with the Republicans for the good of the country. Yada, yada, yada……

The country is now more divided than anytime that I can ever remember. The Health Care Reform Town Hall meetings have shown that citizens have had enough of Obama’s bullshit. And the members of Congress are definitely feeling the pressure. Do they blindly stick by their man and risk defeat in the next election? Or do they represent the people and risk being excluded from the next tree hugging festival?

The town hall meetings have shown that not everyone in America is drinking the Obama Kool-Aid. Americans who are concerned with the future of this country have blasted their representatives over the health care bill. I can’t say that I haven’t enjoyed watching it! Let these bastards squirm. They’ve been dicking the American people around for way too long. It's time they started listening to us!

And how do the libs respond to the citizens that oppose Obama’s radical ideas? They call them Nazi’s, of course. And some even call them racists. Well, Obama is indeed half black. So, I guess in their eyes, if you’re white, anything you say against Obama automatically qualifies you as a closet Klansman. (I’ll have to check with Reverend Jeremiah Wright for more info on the whole racism thing).

Let me tell you something, you assholes! People that show up to voice their opposition to health care reform aren’t Nazi’s! And they’re not racists either! They’re just concerned citizens that expect their representatives to REPRESENT them! And, yes they’re loud and vocal about it! Maybe now there will be no mistake about how the people feel!

When the left was protesting President Bush for everything under the sun, did conservatives call them Nazis? Of course, not. We just called them clueless liberal assholes. The word "Nazi" has such a negative connotation.

Regarding the whole health care issue, Obama would have been better off taking things nice and slow. Who knows? Maybe he could have pulled the wool over our eyes. But when you try to ram something down someone’s throat, it tends to wake a person up! And the voters are now wide awake. It must really suck to be a Congressman right now!

KW

Whose Side Are You On?

I’ve always had my doubts about Obama’s feelings towards our military. In fact, I’ve questioned whether or not he even loves the United States. After all, he spent a fair amount of time globetrotting on the World Apology Tour not too long ago. And my stomach turned upside down when he bowed to the King of Saudi Arabia.

Then he became concerned with how terror suspects were treated under the Bush Administration. Obama was worried that their “rights” were being violated. Of course, much of this so called “abuse” was conducted at the Guantanamo Bay Detention Camp in Cuba. Not long after Obama became President, he signed an executive order to have the prison shut down within a year. The prisoners were likely to be brought back to the US until they could be tried with the same rights as an American citizen! Keep in mind, these assholes HATE everything about America. And now, Obama wants to treat them like they’re John F*cking Wayne!

Now, Obama is going to have the CIA investigated for their interrogation techniques of suspected terrorists. (Of course, he makes it seem like it’s Attorney General Eric Holder’s idea). It doesn’t matter that the CIA has likely saved American lives as a result of these interrogations. They could possibly face prison time now if they’re found guilty of violating the terrorists rights! A great way to thank them, huh?

I’m definitely starting to wonder whose side our President is on. He seems to be more sympathetic to terrorists than to the brave men and woman who protect us from them!

GIVE ME A F*CKING BREAK!

Think about it. Who in the hell would want to sign up to be an interrogator with this kind of bullshit hanging over your head? The same thing goes for the soldiers in the field. These guys have to make split second decisions that could result in life or death. Now, they’re supposed to stop and think about it? The liberal politicians need to back the hell off and let these guys do their job without fear of prosecution from their own government!

In a time of war, I say f*ck the rules of engagement. It’s kill or be killed in many cases. Why should our soldiers have to be fired upon first in order to take the enemy out? It’s real easy for liberal politicians to sit back and scrutinize a soldier’s actions after the fact. But the majority of them wouldn’t have the balls to do what our soldiers do. (And although Nancy Pelosi might possess a set of balls, she lacks guts!) Let the men on the ground do what they have to do. Although our appeasing President might not feel the same way, I trust these guys to do what’s best.

A word to the liberals: The US Armed Forces are the best fighting machine in the world. So, go hug your tree and quit trying to make pussies out of them! If you guys ran the country during World War II, we'd all be speaking German today!

And by the way, f*ck the American media for portraying soldiers and interrogators as the bad guys. I believe they’re largely responsible for feeding this bullshit to the liberals and creating this situation.

I am totally convinced now that Obama wants the US to lose. I think its all part of his master plan of crippling this country to the point where the government will seem to be our only salvation. Then he can rebuild us according to his socialist ideology.

To the military, CIA, FBI and everyone else that keeps us safe, I say thank you for a job well done. Our President may not show much gratitude. But the majority of America is still on your side!

KW