Black Friday Frenzy

Well, another Black Friday shopping frenzy is in the books. I'm always amazed at the lengths in which some folks will go in order to land that great deal on a China-made electronics gadget. By noon, some people were already camped out in front the local Best Buy, Target, Walmart, etc. By the time the front doors were opened, they were like a group of hungry lions about to be released into a field of unsuspecting wildebeests. Of course, in this case, the role of the wildebeest would be played by a $99 flat screen TV.


There were plenty of adrenaline-laced incidents yesterday. Some of the more eventful episodes:

• Monroeville, PA - Mothers and daughters get into a fistfight over a hot deal on yoga pants at the Victoria's Secret. I though yoga was supposed to relax you and help you find that inner peace?
• Myrtle Beach, SC - A 55 year-old woman is shot in an attempted robbery. A nice way to end the shopping day, huh?
• Rome, NY - Several fights break out in the electronics section at the local Wal-Mart. May be this will inspire a new video game: Wally World Beatdown
• Los Angeles, CA - A woman hits the Wal-Mart crowd with a dose of pepper spray in order to secure an X-Box. Her kids will be so proud.
• Fayetteville, NC - Gun fire erupts in the food court at the Cross Creek Mall. Nothing wakes up an early morning shopper like caps busting at 2 am.
• New York, NY - A mob of anxious shoppers literally broke down the door at a Hollister store. Then they proceeded to loot the place. Now, that's the Christmas spirit!
• Phoenix, AZ - A grandfather is knocked unconscious and bloodied up at the Wal-Mart by the local cops after being suspected of shoplifting.
• Leandro, CA - A woman is shot after being robbed of your purchases outside of the Wal-MArt.
• Kinstown, NC - Security guards pepper sprayed aggressive shopping as they tried to grab items before they were unloaded from pallets. 

And I'm not sure where the particular Wal-Mart was in this case, but I saw a feeding frenzy over a stack of $2 toasters. One woman emerged from the pile with about five or six of them. She shoots, she scores! By the way, who in the hell wants to get a toaster for Christmas??

I find it amazing that people are transformed into savages simply by the lure of a low price. As the years go by, it seems that we get more and  more obsessed with material things. It's really sad. 

kw

Holiday Shopping - Literally Speaking

I just finished reading an article about a Target employee who is petitioning the retailer to cancel it's Thanksgiving night opening this year. At last count, there were roughly 100,000 signatures. If it comes my way, I will gladly sign it too.

Have we lost all sense of family and tradition? I mean, is it really going to make that big of a difference if Target (or any other retailer) waits until the morning of Black Friday to open the doors? Once the Christmas shopping season begins, the merchandise is going to move. So, is it really worth ruining the Thanksgiving holiday for the bulk of your employees? Christmas has already been hijacked by commercialism, isn't that enough?

Before anyone nails me to the wall, I know that are certain occupations that have to operate 24/7, 365 days a year. I happen to be in that category and I fully accept it. However, I don't think that a great deal on a plasma TV is so urgent that it has to be purchased at 10 pm on Thanksgiving night.

And if the doors are going to open at 10 pm, you know damned well  that people will start lining up by noon. This will exponentially add to the number of people who will be separated from their families on turkey day. And for what? To save a few bucks on the latest electronic gadget? Is it really worth it?

Adding salt to the wound for major retailer employees in the Baltimore area, the Ravens play on Thanksgiving night. I, along with countless others, am looking forward to winding down after a good dinner and watching the game with family and friends. I feel bad for the Target employees who will only get to see the game sneaking into the break room.

I know what you're going to say......."But Ken, people have to work in order for the NFL games to go on." Yeah, yeah, yeah, I hear you. But just like the mailman who trudges through rain and snow, football must go on.

Oops, I just realized that mailmen have off on holidays. Oh well, when did I ever let facts get in the way of a good story....

All I can say is, unless you happen to need a new TV to watch the game, stay away from the retailers on Thanksgiving!

kw

The Penn State Scandal

As the details of the Penn State scandal continue to unfold, I find it very intriguing. Last week, we learned that an assistant coach had walked in Jerry Sandusky while he was raping a young boy. It was first reported that the coach reported the crime to Penn State authorities but failed to call the local police. But this morning, I read that the coach is claiming that he did indeed talk to the police. But the police are saying that they knew nothing about it. Nonetheless, if this coach did indeed witness Sandusky sexually assaulting a child, why didn't he just crack his f*cking skull??

I don't usually advocate violence, but in the case of a child molester, all bets are off. These sick bastards are the lowest form of humanity and don't deserve to live. There is nothing worse than a monster who robs a child of his or her innocence. Am I wrong for feeling  this way?

Of course, Jerry Sandusky will get his day in court, but things certainly don't look good for him. Just yesterday, I saw an interview where Sandusky admits, on national television no-less,  that he often showered with young boys. Huh? I'm sorry, but it's not normal for a grown man to be routinely lathering up and "horsing around" with ten year olds. If he were doing this with a child of mine, I'd be more than just a little pissed.

Also, when asked by NBC's Bob Costas* if he was sexually attracted to young boys, Sandusky hemmed and hawed before finally saying that he wasn't. What normal person even has to think about a question like that? Another damaging move that I'm sure that the prosecution will use against him.

There certainly seems to be an element of a cover-up at Penn Sate. But we'll let the investigation determine how deep it went. My understanding is that Penn State University is exempt to opening up their records to the public. That should make things just a little more interesting.

If the molestation charges turn out to be true, Penn State may suffer irreparable damage to both it's reputation and it's financial future. Look at what happened to the Catholic church as a result of turning its back on decades of molestation by pedophile priests. In my opinion, they didn't pay nearly enough for all of the lives that they ruined!

Sarah Palin recently commented on the situation by saying, "Hang 'em from the highest tree. I'll bring the rope."* If it turns out that any of these allegations about Jerry Sandusky are true, I'm with Sarah.......

Some might say that I'm barbaric or unreasonable. But I have a feeling they would have quite a different outlook if it was their kid who was being violated by one of these monsters.

Remember the victims......

kw

* http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/45314171/ns/us_news-life/#.TsQp8cNCqU8

Legend of the Camel Cricket

Growing up, I never particularly cared for insects, but they never really frightened me either. When I eventually moved to Anne Arundel County, all this changed. There, I was introduced to one of the most incredible bugs in the history of civilization. Although the locals like to call them "cricket spiders', I discovered that the actual name of this bug is camel cricket.

This half cricket half spider has the ability to create a whole lot of uneasiness. The first time I saw one of these creatures, I totally freaked out. I was over Tina's parent's house and went outside to get a couple of logs for the fire. After picking up a log, something lunged at me, bounced off of my chest and attached itself to the ceiling of the back porch. I dropped the log and impulsively shouted, "Whoa! What the f*ck was that???"

From the ceiling, it  just stared at me like he was daring me to move. Even though I outweighed this thing by over two hundred pounds, I was still scared to death! I had never seen anything like this! It looked liked some kind of mutant ninja cricket. Dazed and confused, I couldn't take my eyes off of it.

Wondering what was taking me so long, Tina came outside. I gave her the hand signal to stay back. She looked at me like I was nuts, and asked, "What's going on?" I pointed to the ceiling. She laughed and then she informed me that it was "only" a cricket-spider. Now, not only did I feel scared, I also felt stupid. I grew up in the city where I would occasionally see cockroaches and other nasty bugs, but this was something completely foreign to me.

Surprised, I replied, "You've seen these things before?"

She was amazed that this was my first encounter with the infamous cricket-spider. But God knows, it wouldn't be my last.

The amazing thing about these things is that they have the ability to jump incredible distances using unnatural angles. I've seen them jump onto a wall, then onto the ceiling, then to the floor and back up to the ceiling. It's like a cricket on steroids! And the worst thing is that they don't chirp like a traditional cricket, making it easy to ambush an unsuspecting victim. And they have absolutely no fear of humans. If you walk towards most crickets or spiders, their defense mechanisms will kick in and they will scurry away. But the cricket-spider will stand it's ground and defy you to take another step.

Sometimes they will sneak up behind you and perch themselves on the back of your chair or sofa. When you turn around, there's this prehistoric looking creature staring at you like a lion might eye up a wildebeest. It's crazy!

They are also very resilient to blunt force trauma. One day, I saw one trespassing in our kitchen. Knowing that I would need more than my bare hands, I rolled up a Sports Illustrated magazine and entered the octagon. I circled the bastard in a lame attempt to come up behind him. But as I circled, he pivoted his grotesque body while never losing eye contact with me. I raised the magazine and took a swat at him, but he jumped out the way just in the nick of time and wound up on the kitchen counter. Knowing that I'd get earful from Tina if I smashed him on the counter, I swatted at the bug horizontally to knock him back to the floor. Once again, I missed the bug. But this time I hit my Hooters coffee mug causing it to fall and break into pieces on the kitchen floor. And I have no way to prove this, but the cricket-spider appeared to be bouncing up and down as if he was taunting me!

Reeling from the loss of my favorite coffee cup, I started to talk to the bug like he was human, "You've done it now, you little bastard! Break my Hooters mug, will you? Now, you're gonna get a serious ass whoopin'!"

The full force of the Sports Illustrated came down on the bug's body. But amazingly, even though it was visibly broken, it still managed to crawl across the floor in it's final act of defiance. He eventually expired in the corner and his taunting days were history. Feeling elated that this battle was finally over, I scooped up his lifeless body with the magazine and tossed it outside. My hope was that it would serve as a warning to the next camel cricket who might want to tangle with me. But somehow, I knew the fearless nature of this bug would prove otherwise.

..............................................................................................................................................................

When she sees a bug or spider in the house, Tina will usually ask me to catch it and release it outside unharmed. But with the cricket-spider, all bets are off. She just tells me to kill it. Easy for her to say since I'm the one who has to go mano a mano with the hideous beast!

I have fought many battles with these creatures and I know as long as I live in this part of the world, I'll have to fight many more. I am experienced now, so I feel like I can somewhat defend myself against their attack. But if you happen to come across a camel cricket the first time, I urge you to proceed with extreme caution. It is an insect like no other......

kw

Cain Goes On The Defense

A few weeks ago, Herman Cain shocked political pundits when he suddenly became the "Republican to beat" in the 2012 presidential campaign. I figured that it was inevitable that Cain would stir up some controversy. At the very least, he was going to force the Democrats to abandon their usual race-card tactics. After all, it's tough to call the Republicans and TEA Party supporters racists when their front runner happens to be a black man.

Initially, there was some predictable nonsense about Cain being a "token black" for the Republicans, but it was quickly dismissed and Cain continued to gain momentum. But you just knew that there would be something else. And sure enough, just when you thought the dust was settling, they starting coming out of the woodwork.........

At last count, there were at least five women who have said that they were sexually harassed by Herman Cain. Of course, Cain denies it but he'll surely have to lay some serious defense cards on the table before this thing goes away.  The last I heard, Cain has offered to take a lie detector test. We'll have to wait and see how this whole thing unfolds. Personally, regardless of the outcome, I think this latest scandal will derail Cain's bid for the White House.

But here's what amazes me the most about this whole thing. Although Bill Clinton was the poster boy for sexual harassment,  he continues to walk on water as far as Democrats are concerned. And, of course, there's JFK. But if there's even a hint of sexual misconduct on the Republican side, the mainstream media throws them to the wolves before they even have a chance to defend themselves. There certainly seems to be a double standard here.

And where exactly are Rev. Al and Super Jesse on all of this? Here's a prominent black man (Cain) being accused of all of these awful things by several white women. And the race hustling Dynamic Duo are nowhere to be found! Oh that's right, Cain is a conservative black man. Nevermind....

And here's one other thing that comes to mind. If it turns out that this slew of accusations was orchestrated by the Democrats, does that make them racists? Almost any criticism of Barrack Obama will bring at least an insinuation of racism from the left. Why is it not the same when the shoe is on the other foot? Again, another double standard.

Hey look, I don't know how this whole thing is going to turn out for Herman Cain. If he did indeed have these skeletons in his closet, I'm not sure why he didn't anticipate the usual attack dogs digging them up. He is obviously a very bright man, so it's hard for to believe that he didn't see this coming. It really makes me wonder if there is actually any merit to these accusations.

From some of the things that I've read so far, there seems to be some controversy surrounding some of the accusers. I have read that at least one accuser works for the Obama administration* and another has a history of workplace complaints**. Could it be possible that these women have a financial motive? Who knows?

Cain will, no doubt, continue to tread the dirty waters of gutter politics for the upcoming weeks. But before we rush to judgement, I think we need to hear the whole story from all sides.....

kw

*http://www.nypost.com/p/news/national/woman_obama_accused_herman_cain_YUPqjDLbeq89nhLTER8V6N

**http://news.yahoo.com/ap-exclusive-accuser-filed-complaint-next-job-080946066.html

Irish Spring - Hold The Hots!

I stopped off at Wal-Mart the other day for some cheap entertainment and also to pick up a few things. One of those things happened to be my beloved Irish Spring shower gel. I didn't realize until I used it that this was not my usual plain Jane Irish Spring. It turns out that I picked up a variety known as "Intensify".

I knew something was wrong as soon as I splashed the green gel onto my skin. I immediately felt a burning sensation all over my body, and especially in those places where you never want to feel a burning sensation! 

It felt like I had lathered up with Ben-Gay. Rubbing what felt like pepper out of my eyes, I struggled to read the back of the bottle. The description stated, "An electrifying scent experience that invigorates all your senses." I wasn't really sure what that meant, but I can tell you, it felt like I had a fire-breathing dragon bearing down on my ass! According to the ingredients, this particular bottle contained something called eucalyptus. The only other time I've heard this word was in cough drop commercials. So, what the hell was it doing in my bottle of Irish Spring? I'm definitely going to have to pay attention the next time I go shopping for soap!

Growing up, there were only a limited amount of soaps to choose from. A few that I remember are Ivory, Zest, Dial and some industrial-strength stuff called Lava. Probably because it was the cheapest soap on the market, we always had Ivory soap. It always had a unique, clean scent but it also had the tendency to severely dry your skin out. After taking a bath with Ivory, you had to stay away from any open flames because there was always a potential for spontaneous combustion.

Zest came with another issue. After bathing with it and drying off, you still felt like there was a soapy film on your skin. Compared to Ivory, Zest was probably the lesser of two evils, but I didn't care for either one.

As for Lava, I never used it. I'm not sure why, but I always had this image of Lava taking off three layers of skin. So, I just avoided it.

I was intrigued by the first Irish Spring commercials. Remember the close up of the knife shaving off the edge of the green and white bar? And the Irish girl saying, "Manly, yes. But I like it too!"? The first time I used it, I was hooked. I've been using it for years with no issues until now. So, I guess you can understand why I was shocked by this most recent bottle.

Whether you use traditional soap of a shower gel, just be sure to read the label before you buy it. You don't want any surprises like the one I experienced!

kw