Waving To Corvettes (and Other Things)

When middle age comes knocking on the the door, most men will answer it with a either a boat, a motorcycle or a sports car. Not wanting to buck tradition, I bought myself a Corvette several years ago. Honestly, aside from knowing the difference between the gas pedal and brake pedal, I'm pretty clueless when it comes to automobiles.

However, shorlty after driving the Corvette, I quickly learned two things. It was noticeably faster than my Honda and it looked bad-ass! 

After I brought the car home, I called an old friend who happened to be a fellow Corvette owner. I gave him the ol' "Hey, guess what I bought today" intro. And after a few brief exchanges, he started asking me questions about the tuned port injection and horsepower. I explained to him that I knew nothing about these trivial things. I bought the car because it looked bad-ass! 

So, as we wrap up the conversation, he says, "Hey look, there'e one other thing you need to know. When you see someone in another Corvette, you should wave."

"Wave? Even if I don't know the other person? What's up with that?"......

So, as I'm driving out of my neighborhood, I eventually see another Corvette coming toward me. Sure enough, just before he passes me, he throws up his hand. Feeling somewhat obligated, I returned the wave. Before long, other Corvettes were waving at me too. And even though I felt kind of silly, I waved back to them as well. To make me feel even more stupid, when Tina's with me and she spots another Corvette coming our way, she'll sarcastically ask, "Hey comes one of your brothers. Are you gonna wave to him?" And sure enough, the guy will wave and compel me to wave back. Then I have to listen to Tina giggle as she tells me that I "crack her up".

Along the same lines, a buddy of mine used to own a Jeep. One day we're driving along and another Jeep with a driver who resembled Chaz Bono comes towards us. And guess what they do? Yep, Chaz and my friend wave to each other! Surprised, I said, "Jeep owners wave at each other too?"

He said, "Yeah, I know it's stupid, but it's just what we do..."

I've also seen Harley Davidson owners do the same thing. However, for whatever reason, they lower their hand in a controlled slow motion instead of quickly raising it. I guess it's a biker thing? And if you happen to be riding a Japanese bike, don't expect a wave from a Harley guy.

So, I'm wondering how far it goes. Do scooters and mopeds wave to each other as they're heading to the Dunkin' Donuts? And what about the thugs who ride dirt-bikes through the streets of Baltimore. I seriously doubt if they wave to each other. After all, taking a hand off of the handlebars could be quite dangerous while you're doing wheelies in and out of traffic on Pratt Street.

Out of sheer boredom, I decided to test the boundaries of the wave. While driving around in my Acura mid-size sedan, I waved to other Acura drivers. What I got was mostly blank stares. So, I'd point to their car and then my car several times in rapid succession as if to say, "Hey, isn't that cool, we're both driving the same car!" It was obvious that they weren't putting the connection together. After I waved to one couple, they actually talked it over for a minute, then finally returned my wave. They were probably asking each other, "Who the hell is that guy? Do we know him?" At least no one flipped me off.....

So, not really knowing what to do, my rule of thumb is....If someone waves to me, I'll wave back. Otherwise, I'm just going to reserve my hand gestures for drivers who piss me off........

kw

An Abundance Of Surveys

What is it with all of these surveys today? Every time I make a transaction of any kind, I'm asked to complete a survey. I assume all of the completed surveys are fed to a group of mysterious bean counters somewhere in the world where they crunch the numbers and regurgitate them to the business execs who, in turn, tweak them to fit their agendas.

When the numbers are all polished up, we'll likely hear those four words "in a recent survey" followed by a line of tweaked bullshit.

I was in line at a popular sporting goods store recently (Let's just say the store shares it's name with a part of the male anatomy). Anyway, I waited patiently in line while the young female cashier conducted a cell phone argument with her boyfriend. My body English must have told her that I was getting annoyed, so she abruptly ended the phone call. Well, just as she starts to scan my items, the phone rings again. And guess what she does? She answers it! The boyfriend didn't take too kindly to being hung up on, so he starts round two. She keeps telling him, "Ok, ok, I'm working. We'll talk about it later. No, don't do that! I'll see you later. Please, stop! I'm going to have to call you back. Yes, yes, I know. You're gonna get me in trouble. I gotta go......."

Then she looks at me, and gives me the "one minute" gesture with her index finger.

I look at my watch and say, "This is ridiculous. Is there anyone else who can help me?" Then, she cuts the angry boyfriend off and hangs up the phone once again. Before she can complete a half-hearted apology, a deep vibration comes from inside her front pocket. I assume it was her phone, but you never know. So, I just give her "the look". Then she says, "I'll call him back later." How considerate of her......

Well, after she puts my purchases into a bag, she hands me the receipt and tells me that if I go online and fill out the  survey, I can win a $50 gift certificate. I couldn't believe this girl had the nerve to ask me to complete a survey after this. I literally almost laughed out loud.

Another recent survey came after I took my car in for a safety recall. I received a couple of email surveys, but I deleted them without filling them out. So, not taking no for an answer, I get a call from the corporate office. They want to do a phone survey with me. They tell me that it's being recorded. I can't understand why my conversation needs to be recorded, but I agree to the interview where I'm asked the predictable questions:

• Was the service satisfactory?
• Was the staff courteous?
• Did I receive adequate updates?
• Did I enjoy the complimentary soft drinks and Rice Krispy Treats?

The woman then asks me if there's anything that I'd like to see changed. I tell her to trade in the soda and Rice Crispy Treats for beer and beef jerky. If that's not possible, then at least put an end to these silly surveys. There's a brief silence on the other end of the phone, then she responds, "Well, Mr. Wilson, we certainly appreciate your feedback. Thank you and have a nice day." Was it something I said??

I think it goes without saying, I'm not fond of surveys........

kw

My Week In Colorado

Heading out to Denver earlier this week, my biggest concern was getting hammered by two feet of snow and getting stranded out there. Luckily, the snow stayed away and I made it home without delay.

But of course, there's always a story to tell.......

My flight from Baltimore was pretty much non-eventful (which is always a good thing when you're flying). The fun didn't start until I hit the rental car place. I walk in and I'm quickly greeted by an enthusiastic rep behind the counter number three. I tell her I've got a reservation and hand her my license. She goes into the rapid-fire typing routine and then quickly transitions into a sales pitch..... 

"Mr. Wilson, I see that you qualify for the corporate discounts. Can I interest you in a large SUV? There's a storm front coming in later this week, and you might need something heavy duty."

 I tell her that I'm fine with a mid-size sedan. She asks me if I'm sure. I assure her that I'm sure. Then she shifts gears and asks if I want the satellite radio option. I tell her no, then she proceeds to tell how many radio stations come with the satellite option. Always feeling a bit irritable after a flight, I tell her that I don't want the enhanced radio. To throw her a curve, I tell her that I don't listen to the radio while driving because it interferes with the conversations in my head. She pauses for a few seconds, then asks my if I'd like to rent a GPS. I politely decline. I explain that I prefer to drive in circles until I eventually arrive at my destination. Next, I expected her to ask my about purchasing insurance. But I guess she figured that I was getting aggravated, so she just had me sign and initial on the dotted line and then sent me on my way.

I drove out of the rental car lot and eventually hit the expressway. I was surprised to see that the speed limit was 75 mph. This sent a tingle up my spine and I immediately gunned the 6-cylinder Ford. The only problem when going this fast in Colorado during the winter, is that it's hard to see the lines on the road. I guess the salt and snow bleach them out. So, fearing that I might wind up rolling down the side of a mountain, I slow it down. 

I make it to the hotel and get settled in...

A few days later, I head to the Buckhorn Exchange, a popular wild-game restaurant on the edge of town. I had recently seen this place on  the Food Network and wanted to check it out for myself. Once I get there, I'm quickly seated. The waiter shows me the menu and tells me about the specials. I'm a little disappointed that they're out my first appetizer choice: the rattlesnake bites. After going back and forth, I skip the appetizer and go right for the entree. I finally settle on the buffalo and elk combo. I've had buffalo burgers before, but never in the form of a steak. I have to tell you. it was excellent. It tasted similar to a beef filet mignon, except much leaner. I expected the elk to taste "gamey", but it was surprisingly mild and tender.

Once I finished my meal, I walked through the restaurant and took notice of all of the mounted deer, elk and moose heads on the walls. I have never seen so many in one place. It was like being in the middle of an episode of Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom. 

The next night, I took a ride up north to Boulder. Now, I've been to Boulder many times before, but it still always amazes me. It's a laid back mountain/college town with no shortage of eccentric characters. Within the first five minutes of hitting Pearl Street, I'm approached by two different guys who are petitioning to legalize marijuana. I see another guy walking through the crowd and holding a sign that reads, "Why Lie, I Need Money To Get High". The strangest thing was that people were actually giving him money! And from the way his eyes were glassed over, I assumed business was good. Denver might be the Mile High City, but Boulder is   just high.

I wander over to the Walnut Brewery. After I'm seated, the waiter tries to talk me into their featured beer. He describes it as having a "banana bread" aftertaste. It doesn't even remotely sound good to me, so I settle on a pint of the house Irish Red. I ordered seared tuna for an appetizer and a burger for my meal. The waiter, who is a dead ringer for Johnny Depp, tells me more than once that I really woofed the burger down. Hey, what can I say? When I sit down for dinner, I'm all business.

On my way back to the hotel, to kill a little time, I stop off at the Flatiron Crossing Mall. I drop into a sports memorabilia place. Browsing through the store, I know I'm not going to be able to leave without spending a few spontaneous bucks. So, in a predictable fashion, I leave with a signed 8x10 of Hall of Shamer Pete Rose. As I exit the mall, I realize that I'm not sure where I parked. So, I spend another twenty minutes walking through various exits before I finally remember that I came in at the food court. I've had memory lapses in the past, but they usually occurred after a long night of "celebrating".

The next day, I head to airport and prepare to go through the security song and dance. I make it through the security screening in an impressive twenty minutes. As I approach my departure gate, I notice that half the people have "carry-ons" that are actually suitcases. I never understand why the airlines don't enforce the size limits for carry-on items. Once I get on board, I see a young woman struggling to put her suitcase in the overhead bin. In normal circumstances, I would be a gentleman and offer to help her. But in this case, I figure if the damned thing is so heavy that she can't lift it, maybe she should have checked it instead of bringing it on board. As I sit there, I'm tempted to yell, "Left with your legs, not your back!" But that would just make me look bad.

As the flight attendants prepare for take-off, they walk down the aisle and close the doors on the overhead bins. They have an problem closing the door on the bin directly above me. There's a suitcase that's sticking out about an inch beyond the door frame. So, the flight attendant says, "Whoever owns this bag is going to have to re-position it so we can close the door. This is holding up our departure."

It happens to belong to girl sitting next to me. She gets up and then starts bitching because someone else has stored two coats up there. How dare they! Of course, she sees nothing wrong with her own bag which happens to be the size of a small sofa. Anxious to get home, I finally stand up and remove my laptop bag (which happens to be the smallest one in the bin) and re-position her suitcase. I close the door and tell the flight attendant that we're now cleared for take-off. She mouths me a silent thank-you and then goes into the "how to fasten your seat-belt" speech.

Before long, we're in the air and back in Baltimore. Other than a mild headache, I feel pretty good. There's no place like home........

kw

Remembering Whitney Houston

It's always a bit shocking when a when we learn of a major celebrity's untimely death. Although we don't know them personally, we still have a virtual connection to them through their music, movies, etc. After grabbing my first cup of this morning, I turned on the news and quickly found out that Whitney Houston had passed away.

I'm traditionally a rock and roll guy, but I have to admit, a Whitney Houston song always had a way of grabbing my attention. Her voice itself was powerful, soulful and downright beautiful. But Whitney also had the ability to deliver a song with enough conviction and emotion to give you goosebumps.

I remember the video for "I Wanna Dance With Somebody". Even though this wasn't the traditional type of song that I usually listened to, I always found myself tuning in until the song was over. At the risk of forfeiting my man-card, I also liked 'The Greatest Love of All". I thought the opening line was so powerful:

"I believe the children are our future,
teach them well and let them lead the way.
Show them all the beauty they possess inside......"

I also remember Whitney signing the National Anthem at the Super Bowl in 1991. It totally blew me away. It's still one of the best performances of The Star Spangled Banner that I've ever heard. I must admit, however, that I was a little disappointed when I learned that the song had been previously recorded in a studio and that Whitney was lip syncing during the "live" performance. But it didn't take away from the beauty of her vocals. I still get goosebumps every time I hear it.

Whitney was surrounded by enormous talent in her family. Her mother is gospel singer Cissy Houston, her cousin is Dionne Warwick and her Godmother is none other than Aretha Franklin. No pressure to do well there, huh? Whitney not only did well, she carved out her spot on the prestigious list of legendary recording divas. Whitney's debut album sold over 12 million copies. Her version of "I Will Always Love You" topped the Billboard 100 for 14 weeks. The only song to claim the top spot longer (16 weeks) was "One Sweet Day" by Mariah Carey & Boys II Men. Whitney had seven consecutive number one Billboard hits, breaking the previous record held by a couple of little known groups called The Beatles and The Bee Gees. She also claimed six Grammy Awards.

Several years ago, there were visible signs that something was seriously wrong with Whitney. Of course, we learned that she had been abusing drugs. On the surface, this is always hard to comprehend. In this case, here's a pop princess who was loved by millions. She had everything to live for, so why would she go down this path of self destruction? Sadly, we've seen it way too often.

Whitney Houston was 48 years old when she was found dead in her hotel room on Saturday.

Whitney will, no doubt, be remembered as one of popular music's greatest performers. She leaves behind a large catalog of timeless recordings. She may have left us, but I think it's safe to say that her music will live on forever......

kw

The Birth Control Throwdown

So, it looks like President Obama has really kicked the hornet's nest this time. Religious groups, especially the Catholic Church, are up in arms regarding his health bill which will require employers to provide health insurance that will pay for birth control. 

Since we have no choice but to talk about politics and religion in this case, let's at least try to look at this whole thing objectively as possible......

On one side, one can make the argument that this is good thing. There are countless unwanted pregnancies each year. And many of these pregnancies ultimately end in abortion. Perhaps if the woman had access to contraceptives, there would have been no conception in the first place. Of course, another option would be to hit up the local drugstore for a pack of Trojans.

Even before this controversial healthcare bill, I often wondered why so many insurance companies refused to cover birth control. Assuming that their objective is to make money, isn't it cheaper to supply $30 worth of birth control pills each month rather than pay for a whole new human being for the next eighteen years?

The real controversy comes in when the government mandates the Catholic Church to do something that goes against it's principles. I can understand the Archdiocese having a big issue with this. After all, there is something in the Constitution about the separation of Church and State. But on the other hand, if the Church is acting as a business entity........hmmm.

It's been reported that Catholic women overwhelmingly use or have used some kind of contraceptive anyway. So, in this sense, it almost seems like a moot point. But just when you think it can't get any more complicated....

The healthcare bill would also cover 'the morning after pill".  For those who believe that life begins at conception, this pill is viewed essentially as nothing less than an abortion. And we know how the Church feels about that.

Now, I'm actually not that shocked to see Obama do something that might draw the ire of the traditional Bible thumpers. However, I am a bit surprised that he opened up a can of worms that would surely incite sharp criticism from the Catholic Church. With an estimated 74 million Catholics in America, it's certainly a risky move, especially with the election right around the corner. Will Catholic women vote against the Church's conscience and for Obama in November? After all, the bill would appear to support a woman's right to chose. 

The Republicans will surely run this healthcare controversy up the flagpole as the campaign heats up. It will be interesting to see how long or high it flies.....

Although I have my own feelings regarding all of this, I'm going to withhold them for now. The purpose of this piece was to try and hit it from all angles. Yes, it was a challenge......

kw

City Kids & Mud Carp

Fishing was something that I always enjoyed as a kid. I would hit the local fishing spots with my friends and we would cast our lines as far as we could in hopes of landing the big one. In reality, our bounty would almost always consist of no more than a small white perch or catfish. But nonetheless, the uncertainty of what was on the other end of that line always brought a certain degree of excitement.

I can recall one of my buddies (I'll call him Steve) discovering a new fishing hole near one of the local expressways (we were city kids). He told us if we wanted the experience of catching a big fish, this was the place to go. What he didn't tell us was that we'd be fishing for the infamous mud carp. Actually, the carp in not a bad looking fish, but I'm told that they taste really nasty (no, I've never eaten one). The first thing that I learned about carp fishing was that you didn't use traditional bait such as worms or grass shrimp. You had to use "doughballs", which we made with shredded wheat and thyme. I'm not sure what the carp saw in this concoction, but they did indeed like it.

Within a few seconds of your line hitting the water, the carp was hitting the doughball. A quick tug of the rod was all it took to set the hook. This is when I learned that mud carp were lazy. What's it like to reel in a mud carp, you ask? Picture the police showing up at a protest. You know how the protesters go limp and the cops have to drag them over to the police car? Well, that's what it feels like when you're dealing with a carp. In a nutshell, they're uncooperative.

Anyway, we would reel in several carp and secure them at the waters edge with a stringer to keep them alive. At the end of the day, Steve and I would load the large fish into a metal shopping cart. We would push the cart through the busy streets of the neighborhood as passing cars would yell obscenities and throw Pepsi cans and half-drunken Slurpees at us. We didn't really care, we had our eye on the prize. You see, we would ultimately wind up at one of the nearby rowhouses to meet our "buyer". I can't remember his name, but there was this guy who, for some unknown reason, loved carp. He would give us a dollar a piece for them. He was happy and we were happy. But I must admit, the thought of this guy eating these things turned my stomach. Understand, we grew up in an industrial neighborhood, so there's no telling what kind of toxic run-off or pollutants were in those local waters. And of course, all of this crap wound up in the local seafood. But who were we to judge, we were just businessmen!

Well, one time we brought our day's catch to the guy. But he expectantly said that he didn't want them. This really threw us for a loop. It's not like we had a back-up buyer. In fact, I don't think we could have given these fish away for free to anyone else. And there was no way we were going to walk these things a mile back to the water and risk getting pelted with another Slurpee. So, Steve being the clever one, came up with an impromptu plan.......

As we pushed the cart (which was really starting to smell by now) through one of the back alleys, Steve  starts tossing the fish up onto people's garage roofs! Keep in mind that most the roofs were flat, so once the fish were up there, it was hard to see from the ground. Steve looked like the local paperboy tossing the evening news up on the front lawn. Except, instead of a light newspaper, he was tossing large fish up on garage roofs.

Actually, I really didn't think it was such a good idea. But Steve was the experienced fisherman, and I figured he knew how to dispose of rotting mud carp better than me. Who was I to argue? He figured if he spread the fish out enough, the birds and insects would dispose of them before anyone even noticed. As a twelve year old, this actually sounded quite reasonable to me....

As we made our way towards the end of the alley, we had one more fish but no more garages. But there was a swimming pool. So, right on cue, Steve hurls the two-foot fish over the fence and into the pristine water. We had assumed all of the fish were dead by now but amazingly, this one sprung to life and began to swim around the pool. If the line hadn't been crossed yet, it certainly had been now. My buddy advised me to keep quiet about everything and then we parted ways.

Well, the next day, there was a noticeable stench in the alley as the fish baked on the rooftops in the 90 degree heat. By the second day there were flies all over the place and people were getting curious. Even though I didn't actually do any of the tossing, I certainly didn't do anything to stop it. So understandably, I was a little nervous. Could I possibly get in trouble with the police over something like this? I kept visualizing getting thrown into a Baltimore City jail cell with a bunch of hardened criminals. One would inevitably ask, "So, what'd ya in for?" Can you imagine me explaining that I'm "in for" being an accomplice in a mass carp throwing incident? If that wouldn't set me up for an ass kicking, I don't know what would.

At the very least, if  it was discovered that I had anything to do with this, it surely meant an ass-whooping from my Dad. (Keep in mind that this was back in the 70's, in a time where parents were still allowed to discipline their kids.) Nonetheless, since I was never fond of getting my ass kicked, I kept quiet and prayed that the flies and birds would invite all of their friends over for the rooftop fish fry.

Well, before long, one of the neighbors put two and two together and figured out who flung the fish. Actually, it wasn't really that hard because Steve left a bunch of crab nets and fishing gear out in his back yard. From what I recall, he got grounded for a period of time by his parents. But to his credit, he never implicated me. That's the way things were back then. And in return, I won't reveal Steve's true identity. Hell, I have no idea what the statute of limitations is on something like carp tossing! So, I've probably already said too much!

After that episode, I pretty much practiced the "catch and release" method of fishing. And, for some crazy reason, I never had the desire to fish for another mud carp....

kw

Super Bowl XLVI - The Aftermath

I always have mixed feeling regarding the Super Bowl. On the positive side, I always have a blast watching the big game with family and friends. On the down side, I know that when the game is finally over, so is the football season.

Looking back on Sunday's game, I really have to congratulate the New York Giants on becoming this year's champs. At the beginning of the season, I don;'t think anyone would have picked them to win the NFC, much less, go to the Super Bowl and beat the New England Patriots. If I were a betting man, I would have put big money on Green Bay or New Orleans to win the NFC Championship this year. But kudos to the Giants for scratching and clawing their way to the NFL's most coveted prize.

With that being said, prior to the Super Bowl, I made several predictions. I said that the Giants would beat the Patriots by six. Ok, I was slightly off, they actually won by four. However, if they could have just made that 2-point conversion after the winning touchdown (more on this in a minute), they would have won by six and I would really be patting myself on the back.

I also said that Eli Manning would pass for 350-400 yards and win his second Super Bowl MVP award. Again, I was just a bit off, he threw for just under 300 yards. But he did receive the MVP award. 

Prior to the game, I mentioned that Coach Belichick would be going with the "homeless" look wearing the cut-off sweatshirt. Roger that.

I predicted that there would be at least three people at my party who refer to Tom Brady as a "little bitch". I'd have to say that I nailed that one too.

I also mentioned that Brady's wife would tweet an SOS to the refs at some point. Ok, I was off on that one. But Gisele did bring attention to herself for blaming the Patriot's receivers for the loss after being heckled by some Giants' fans. I'm going to actually defend Mrs. Brady on this one. I think it's a cheap shot to verbally ambush the wife (or any family member) of a sports star. I'm sure she was emotional after the loss and her first reaction was to defend her husband. But, I don't know, maybe she shouldn't have been so quick to throw the receivers under the bus. Brady already has the reputation of getting biased protection from the refs.     Having his wife coming to his rescue certainly isn't going to help his image. In Tom Brady's defense, he handled himself with class in the post-game interview. And in Gisele's defense, she's still hot!

Of course, you can't have a halftime show at the Super Bowl without some kind of controversy. First off, I've heard mixed reviews about Madonna's performance. Some loved it, others hated it. Although I can't deny that Madonna has talent, I can never be too impressed by a "singer" who lip syncs. Stevie Wonder could have saw that Madonna was lip syncing on Sunday. It was like watching an elaborate karaoke performance. I was actually most impressed by the guy who was doing the balancing act on the rope during Madonna's performance. And, true to their name, those guys from LMFAO always make me laugh my.......well you know what I'm saying. Of course, the controversy came when one of Madonna's "singing" guests (M.I.A.?) turned to the camera and flipped America the middle finger. Real nice. I'm sure she made her mother proud. I guess she figured it would get her name mentioned on the Monday morning news shows. And it certainly did. Personally, I never understood why the media runs with things like this. It only encourages more nit-wits to do it.

Back to that two point conversion ......

Probably the only person more disappointed than Tom Brady after the game out was my brother-in-law, John. In his football pool, he had a two for the giants and a seven for the Patriots. So, prior to the last NY touchdown, the score was New England 17 New York 15. All he needed was the Giants to score a touchdown and to kick the extra point. If the game ended 22-17, he was $1000 richer.

The Giants did indeed score the touchdown, putting them up 21-17 with less than a minute left in the game. This sent John on a victory lap around my house while the rest of us remained in the basement. Fueled by a bottle of Gollywobbler, we could hear John upstairs dancing and singing while he gathered the women in front of the TV to watch his $1000 extra point. 

But instead of the Giants kicking unit showing up on the TV screen, the cameras remained on Eli Manning and the boys as they prepared for a 2-point conversion attempt. This couldn't be happening. The dancing abruptly stopped and John came crashing down the basement steps in a hailstorm of f-bombs. Of course, we all thought John's money was in the bank, so we were just as shocked. Of course, the Giants missed the conversion attempt and wound up with 21 points, ruining my brother-in-law's otherwise fun night. If you ever wondered what someone who had their cornflakes pissed on looks like, this was it. We all felt really bad for him....

No doubt, the football season is full of highs and lows. I guess the unpredictability helps make it a just a little more interesting. It was a fun year and I can't wait for the first kickoff of next season. 

kw

Looking Ahead to Super Bowl XLVI

Although I'm still disappointed that I won't be watching the Ravens in the Super Bowl this Sunday, I realize that it's time to move on. So, as the Patriots and Giants prepare to go to battle, I'm preparing for my Super Bowl party (actually, Tina is doing the preparation while I write this story).

The last I heard, the Patriots were a three and a half point favorite to beat the Giants. You can't deny that Tom Brady has explosive potential, but the Patriots defense has the potential to give up a lot of points. Considering NY quarterback Eli Manning had almost 5000 passing yards this season, the New England defense could be in for a long day.

Speaking of Eli, he often gets overshadowed by the offensive accomplishments of his older brother. But in the playoffs, Eli has proven that he can be every bit as effective, if not more than Peyton. And if the Giants should win on Sunday, Eli will have twice as many Super Bowl rings as big brother.

Since I love trivia, let me share these interesting Super Bowl tidbits:

• Of the top ten most watched TV shows ever, eight are Super Bowls (the other two were the MASH and Cheers finales)
• We're used to seeing pop superstars performing at Super Bowl halftime, but for the first five SB's, college marching bands provided the entertainment
• Super Bowls are distinguished by Roman numerals because the NFL season spans two calender years (ex. this season was played in 2011 and 2012)
• The San Francisco 49ers are the only team to appear in multiple Super Bowls and remain undefeated (5-0). On the other hand, the Minnesota Viking and Buffalo Bills have both appeared in four Super Bowls and lost them all.
• Fans will consume, on average, 1200 calories in snacks alone this Sunday. That's not even including the  bratwurst, burgers and other "entrees"
• Tickets to the first Super Bowl cost between $6 and $12. You pay more than that for a beer today! By comparison, the face value of today's SB tickets are between $600 and $1200. Of course, once they wind up in the scalpers hands, the price is limitless.
• Over 4 million pounds of pretzels will be consumed (please keep these away from George W)
• Over a billion dollars will be spent on roughly 100 million chicken wings this Sunday
• In a recent poll, 15% of the people said that they would miss the birth of their child for a chance to go to the Super Bowl
• The only teams to have never appeared in a Super Bowl are Cleveland, Detroit, Jacksonville and Houston
• Nine out of ten people will watch the game at home (or someone else's home). 5% of these people will watch the game alone. I find that kind of sad. It's sort of like spending Christmas alone....
• There will be approximately 48 million takeout/delivery orders. Please realize that these people have to work for our convenience. Be sure to tip them generously!
• 51 million cases of beer will be sold for the big game. I will account for at least one of them!
• Next to Thanksgiving, Super Bowl Sunday is the highest food consumption day in the US
• Being a great player doesn't guarantee you a Super Bowl ring. Dan Marino, Barry Sanders and Fran Tarkenton (just to name a few) never won a Super Bowl.

Specifically related to this year's Super Bowl:

• This will be the first year where two former Super Bowl MVP quarterbacks have squared off against each other
• New England head coach (Bill Belichick) and NY head coach (Tom Coughlin) won Super Bowl XXV while both were on the coaching staff of the NY Giants under head coach Bill Parcells
• The Patriots record in the Super Bowl is 3-3. The Giants have a 3-1 record with their one loss coming to the Baltimore Ravens (sorry, I just had to throw that in there)
• The most expensive commercial for this year's Super Bowl has a price tag of $3.5 million. The first Super Bowl commercial cost $37,000. Yes, we've come a long way baby!
• This is the first Super Bowl ever held in Indianapolis. Miami has hosted the most with ten. If you're talking strictly venues, the Superdome in New Orleans is tops with six.
• Since most hotels near Lucas Oil Stadium in Indy have been booked, the remaining ones are cashing in by price gouging. I just read about one hotel that normally charges $39 a night is now charging $750 for this weekend. I hope that includes HBO!
• Madonna, who will performing at halftime, announced that she will not be having any wardrobe malfunctions. Thank God for small favors!

Hopefully, that's enough trivia for you. I've got to wrap this up, so let me give you my predictions. I think the Giant's defense (especially their front four) will keep an unrelenting pressure on Tom Brady all game. And if they happen to sack him a few times, expect to see Gisele (Brady's wife) twittering an SOS down to the refs. The "roughing the passer" flags will start flying. And this will undoubtedly inspire at least three people at my Super Bowl party to call Tom Brady a little bitch.

It's like I have a crystal ball......

I see Eli Manning picking apart the Patriot's vulnerable pass defense. Don't be surprised if Eli passes for 350-400 yards and is named Super Bowl MVP once again. So,with the precision of a weatherman predicting the snow accumulation, I forecast the Giants beating the favored Patriots by a final score of 27-21. As always, I just ask for a good game and not a 34-7 blowout like in Super Bowl XXXV when the Ravens beat the Giants (Sorry, there I go again!). And please let Coach Belichick wear a decent shirt and not one of those homeless-looking, cut-off sweatshirts that he usually wears.

And a word to my friends who happen to be Patriots fans: I mean no disrespect. It's just that the Steelers aren't playing, so I've got to pick on somebody.

Seriously, I hope everyone enjoys the game. And remember, Monday is a workday, try not to overindulge!

kw

Exploring The Pink Slime

I was just reading an article that said McDonald's was going to quit using the "pink slime" in their hamburger meat. This sounded really odd to me because I really had never even heard of pink slime. I always thought of slime as being green. Anyway, I did a little research and this is what I found....

When the normal beef parts are butchered, there is obviously some scrap meat left over. I'm not talking about eyeballs and lips and those sorts of things. I'm referring to the scrap trimmings of actual meat and fat. Normally, these scraps would be used for dog or cat food. But some fast food businesses, including McDonald's, found a way to "recycle" this stuff and put it back into human food. I also understand that Burger King and Taco Bell do the same thing. (see web links at the bottom for more info)

The scrap meat is put into a centrifuge where it is spun down until the lean beef is separated from the fat. Then, the separated beef is pushed through a tube where is treated with ammonia. Yes, that stuff that we use to clean the kitchen floor. The purpose of the ammonia is to kill any pathogens, such as E. coli, that might reside in the nasty meat by-product. Are you still craving that Big Mac?

Is all of this safe? I don't know. Maybe it is, since I don't recall anyone ever dying of a pink slime overdose. But it sure sounds nasty. It definitely makes wonder about what mystery ingredients might be lurking in other fast foods. It would truly break my heart if I found out that Chick-fil-A was doing this type of thing.

Here's the thing, when I eat a hot dog, I know there's probably some really nasty stuff in there. I accept that. But when I bite into a hamburger, I expect to get decent, "fit for human consumption" All-American beef. Is it really asking too much to leave the floor cleaner in the closet?

When it comes to lunch, I usually go for the cheap, efficient option. It's not uncommon to see me swinging through a McDonald's drive-thru and picking up a double cheeseburger and a sweet tea for $2. It's quick, cheap and keeps my stomach from growling all afternoon. Up until now, I didn't think you could beat it. But realizing that I've likely been consuming the pink goo in the above photo now has my stomach turning circles. And if they're putting this crap in Big Macs and Quarter Pounders, I can only imagine what's in a Slim-Jim.

When I was a kid, my Dad would buy these things called Vienna Sausages and some other concoction called "potted meat". I used to eat them all the time. Well, one day, I happened to be reading the ingredients on the back of one of the cans and I nearly threw up. I had no idea there things like cow lips and mechanically separated beef parts in here. Wow, it kind of sounds like pink slime, doesn't it? I was probably about ten years old then and I haven't eaten a Vienna Sausage or a can of potted meat since.

Celebrity chef Jamie Oliver recently gave a great demonstration on how pink slime is made. If you have a morbid curiosity (like I do), feel free to watch the video below:



If there is any decency left at all in this world, please tell me that they don't put any of this nasty stuff in bratwurst!

kw

http://usnews.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2012/01/31/10282876-mcdonalds-drops-use-of-gooey-ammonia-based-pink-slime-in-hamburger-meat?chromedomain=vitals

http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/health/2012/02/01/mcdonalds-announces-end-to-pink-slime-in-burgers/