Saturday, October 27, 2012

Bracing For The Perfect Storm

Enjoying my morning coffee yesterday, I stared out at the Atlantic Ocean from my hotel balcony. The sun was shining brightly overhead and the rhythmic crashing of the waves was naturally soothing. As far a day goes, this was about as good as it could get.

Then, I went back inside and flipped through the various news programs. Most the stories centered around the pending hurricane. One reporter was calling it "the storm of the century" while another one simply labeled it the "Frankenstorm". I walked back outside to make sure I didn't miss anything the last time around. Nope, it was still 65 degrees and a downright beautiful late-October day.

Listening to the various conversations during my day of bar-hopping, the general feeling from the Ocean City locals was that this was a storm to be taken seriously. It was really starting to depress the euphoria that I normally experience on these weekend getaways.

Waking up this morning, I returned to balcony to size things up. The sun had given way to gray skies and the ocean was noticeably rougher. Now, I'm starting to get a little nervous. Who exactly is this Sandy? And why is she intent on ruining my festive weekend?

Tina and I took a morning stroll along the boardwalk. The wind was really picking up and as a result, many of the boardwalk merchants had already started  to board up their storefronts. I was really disappointed when I saw the Hooters on 5th Street with plywood in the windows. I was really craving some of those wings.

I'm not sure if it was an ominous sign of things to come, but we saw a dead dolphin that had washed up on the beach. As if the sight wasn't gloomy enough, the dolphin had two large bite marks which were most likely the result of a hungry shark. In all of my years of coming the beach, I have never seen a dead dolphin.

Looking at the weather report, it looks like the weather is going to get progressively worse. But the really bad stuff isn't expected to hit the Maryland coast until late tomorrow. So, we're going to hang until tomorrow morning and then make a quick exit out of Dodge. Will this be the bad-ass storm that everyone's talking about? Or will it be another overhyped bust? We should know the answer in the next couple of days. But until then, my main concern is where I can get some good wings and a cold beer. Cheers...

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

The Final Debate of 2012

Overall, last night's debate between President Obama and Gov. Mitt Romney seemed a bit unproductive to me. I didn't really hear anything from either candidate that I haven't heard before. And although the debate was supposed to focus on foreign policy, domestic issues were often brought up by both candidates, in what I assume was an effort to spew one last round of campaign rhetoric.

The thing that really surprised me though was that Romney didn't really grill the President over the recent Libyan terrorist attack that left four Americans dead. There has been a lot of controversy over whether or not the Obama administration covered up facts surrounding this tragic event. The stage was set, but for some reason, Romney failed to push the issue. Along the same lines, Romney conveniently left out any mention of the "Fast & Furious" controversy. What impact this would have had on undecided voters is anyone's guess.


The biggest problem I had with this, and previous debates, is that both candidates consistently present conflicting arguments on almost any topic. If one is telling us the sky is blue and the other will say that it's red. Well, they both can't be right! I often feel like I've got to have a fact-check website at my fingertips while watching these things. I can certainly understand why there in no love for politicians. I can understand the contrasting ideologies to some degree, but wouldn't it be nice if we could at least keep the facts straight?

In predictable fashion, supporters from both sides feel that their candidate won last night's debate. I think both men had their moments. And as expected, the usual suspects immediately lined up behind their guy. MSNBC blowhard Chris Mattthews, even took an opportunity to throw out the race card after the debate by saying:

"I think they hate Obama. They want him out of the White House more than they want to destroy Al Qaeda. Their No. 1 enemy in the world right now, on the right, is their hatred, hatred for Obama. And we can go into that about the white working class in the South and looking at these numbers we're getting the last couple days about racial hatred in many cases … this isn't about being a better president, they want to get rid of this president.."

Could Matthews' comments be because he has lost the "thrill that ran up his leg" in 2008 and he's worried that his man (Obama) could possibly lose this election? Nonetheless, I find the racial accusations reckless and offensive. Republicans often disagree with Democrats and vice versa. There are a multitude of reasons why but it very seldom has anything to do with skin color.

Since Obama has slipped in recent polls, the President probably felt the need come out aggressive last night. And that's the exactly way I saw him. Although, I had issues with some of his statements, I did think that he appeared strong and confident, which is quite the contrary to the first debate. However, at times, I thought Obama appeared condescending and arrogant. I thought his "horses and bayonets" comment was a misguided attempt to illustrate that his challenger had limited knowledge of our military. But the President's comment lost air when it was revealed that the Marines still use bayonets and the Army still uses horses, in Afghanistan for example.

 Romney on the other hand, surprisingly came off as a bit soft. I really thought that he would have went for the throat, as many conservatives feel that Obama has been very weak on foreign policy. Romney did get in an occasional jab, for instance, when he commented on Obama's Middle East "apology tour".

As for the moderator, I thought Bob Schieffer did a good job. Although I'm no fan of CBS, I always thought of Schieffer as knowledgeable and fair. He was far better, in my opinion, than the moderators of the previous two debates.

On a lighter note, I always get a kick out of how the opposing candidates greet each other after the event. They shake hands, exchange pleasantries and then greet each other's families like they're catching up at a reunion on Walton Mountain. Of course, this is right after the two guys spent the last hour and a half verbally browbeating each other. It just seems funny to me. Kind of like the way MMA fighters touch gloves and then immediately try to dislocate each other's head.

So, what does it all mean? Will any of these debates influence the outcome of what many consider to be the most important election of our lifetime? From Obamacare to the inevitable appointment of one or more Supreme Court justices, the next four years will likely have some serious ramifications on our future. Who you choose to vote for is your business. All I can suggest is this..... Try to filter through as much of the bullshit as possible, then vote for the candidate who you truly believe can best lead our country......

kw

Sunday, October 21, 2012

Do A Little Dance

So last night, I go to a local nightclub to listen to a friend's band. They start to crank out all of the old classic rock songs and before long the dance floor begins to fill.  I always get a kick out of watching people as they cut the rug. It's actually fun to watch if people can actually dance. But unfortunately, that's very seldom the case.

As I watch the women pull their boyfriends and husbands out to the dance floor, I can't help but notice that the crowd is rather old. In fact, I would estimate the median age of the dancers to be about 75. I instantly wondered if I mistaken walked into dance night at the convalescent center. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against senior citizens. But I have to admit, it just struck me as a bit odd to see the AARP crowd getting down to Billy Idol's "Rebel Yell".

One particular couple was really going at it. They were flailing to to the upbeat song as the man twirled the woman on every fourth measure. At this frantic pace, I couldn't help but think that a broken hip was imminent. But thankfully, they made it through....

There was another elderly guy who was desperately trying to cling onto his image from yesteryear. He looked like a cross between Joe Walsh and Patrick Swayze's character from Roadhouse. He had a bi-level haircut (circa 1982), tight-ass Wrangler jeans and a black leather vest. Yep, he really had it going on. And he kept a straight face the entire time. He obviously took his dancing very seriously.

I sat in my chair on the edge of the dance floor and listened to the band jam out to Judas Priest's "You've Got Another Thing Coming" while the senior crowd continued to boogie down. A "young" woman, whom I would estimate to be around fifty, walks toward me. This is going to sound so wrong, but I instantly deduced two things about her: she wasn't wearing a bra and she was cold. When she got within three feet of me, I instinctively looked down for fear of getting poked in the eye. Go ahead and laugh, but you can never be too careful....

Back to the dancers......

As one couple entered the dance floor, the woman began shaking baby powder over the floor. This was obviously done to cut down on the friction between their shoes and the floor. The couple then began to move like John Travolta and Uma Thurman in the dance scene from Pulp Fiction. Although they could certainly dance, I couldn't ignore that the man had this uniquely long face, reminiscent of Herman Munster. And as he glided effortlessly over his powered dance space, he chomped vigorously on a generous wad of chewing gum. The whole scene was really weird.

Towards the end of the evening, a middle-aged couple drew everyone's attention because they were actually very good dancers. I have to admit, I was really enjoying it. But then, out of nowhere, the guy does a full split! Every guy in the bar instantly reached down below and it was followed by a chorus of groans. I reached for my phone and prepared to dial 911. But miraculously, the guy stood back up and resumed the dance like nothing happened. That was some impressive stuff!

Now, after building up enough courage courtesy of seven or eight draft beers, I have been known to step onto the dance floor myself. But it doesn't always end well. One time, I got recruited to join in on "The Electric Slide". I make no secret about it, I can not dance. Halfway through the song, at least three people were laying on the ground as a result of my big, clumsy ass knocking them over. Trust me, if you ever see me  stumble onto a dance floor, run!

And if I'm not knocking other dancers over, I'm making a total fool of myself. Sometimes, I'll be busting a move and feeling the rhythm. Like an idiot, I'll think to myself, "Hey, maybe I really can dance!" This thought instantly vanishes when I look up to see half of the bar pointing to me and laughing hysterically. It's very hurtful.

So next time you're at the club, take a look around. Sometimes, the best entertainment is right in front of you on the dance floor!

kw

Saturday, October 20, 2012

The Virtual American Workforce

Earlier today, while preparing to pay for my goods at a local grocery store, I found it troubling that there was only one "manned" checkout line. All of the others were those self-checkout lines. Not wanting to wait behind the ten people in the real line, I opted to give the store a few minutes of my free labor. So, I jump into the shortest line. The lone guy in front of me seemed to be having an issue while scanning some type of coupon. After several unsuccessful attempts, a flashing police light finally goes off and a store employee comes over to intervene. She hits a few buttons and then tells the guy that "it should work" now and walks away. The guy tries a few more times but ultimately sets off the flashing light again. The employee, who seems a bit annoyed, comes back over. This time she waves some type of special card over the scanner like she's preforming a magic trick. Whatever she did finally works and the guy is able to complete his transaction. Luckily, I scanned my stuff without an issue. But it still annoyed me that the store was too cheap to pay a real cashier....

The grocery stores aren't the only places that have tossed the "real workers" to the side. Police departments now rely on cameras to catch speeders and red-light runners. We're told that these cameras are "for safety" but we all know that's a bunch of bullshit. Those cameras are strictly for revenue. Hey, I never want a ticket, but if I do get one, I'd like it to be from a real cop!

A month or so ago, the local utility company informed me that they wanted to put a "smart" meter on my house. The meter would allow them to monitor and control things remotely. I wonder how many people will be given pink slips as a result of this crap. In an act of defiance, I opted to not have one installed. Maybe it's just a coincidence, but shortly afterward, BGE sent me a couple of nastygrams telling me that I had to "provide access" to my "obstructed" meter. Funny. the meter's been in the same place since the house was built over twenty years ago. But now, all of a sudden, it's "obstructed".

And remember the good ol' days when you could pick up the phone and talk to a live person. Now, you have to go through 30 minutes of pushing different numbers just to get to a virtual customer service rep. I had problem with one of my cable TV boxes recently. I called in for support and wound up talking to a virtual technical. After a while, I got frustrated and started to curse. This only prompted the cyber tech to respond, "I'm sorry, sir. I do not understand 'This is f*cking bullshit'. Can you please repeat that?"

I Stopped by an Arby's in Colorado last year. All I wanted was a simple roast beef sandwich. Well, as I walk up to the counter and begin to place my order, the young lady behind the counter informs my that I have to order it from the touch screen in front of the counter. Like an idiot, I ask, "Why can't I just tell you what I want? It's a pretty good system. They've been using it forever in the fast food business." But she would have no parts of it. So, I attempted to place my order via the touch screen but I made an error. This caused the girl behind the counter to reset the screen. With a confused look, I ask her, "Hey, if you can reset the screen, can you place orders too?"

Surprisingly, she tells me that she can.

So I say, "I've got an idea. How about I tell you want I want and you can punch it up on your touchscreen. No one will ever know."

She tells me that she's not supposed to do this. So, I break out the heavy artillery and ask, "Come on, do you really want to stand between a man and his Big Montana?" She starts to laugh and I immediately start to wonder if I said something inappropriate. (By the way, a Big Montana is a gigantic roast beef sandwich that used to be on the Arby's menu.). Nonetheless, she finally puts my order in and I'm out the door....

As technology progresses, it hard to say how far this will go. I hear they now have a "driver-less" car. That sounds a bit scary to me. But I guess it would make getting home from Happy Hour a little easier...

kw

Sunday, October 14, 2012

The O's - A Reason To Celebrate!

Since 1998, the official end of the Baltimore baseball season was marked by the opening kickoff of the Raven's season. However, this year was a bit different as we cheered for the Oriole's into the second week of October.

Last year, I took some criticism for a piece that I wrote about the O's excessive celebration on their last game of the season. If you don't remember, the O's had knocked the Red Sox out of the playoffs. I didn't think that a team with 69-93 record had any reason to be celebrating. I still stand by my original story which you can read for yourself (http://kensmouthpiece.blogspot.com/2011/09/os-reason-to-celebrate.html). The only optimism that I had was that maybe there was a possibility that the O's would carry some of this emotion into the 2012 season. And that they certainly did......

I have to admit, although a longtime baseball fan, I really lost interest in watching a losing team year after year. I would always have a fondness for the Orange & Black, but during the fifteen years of losing seasons, it was really tough to get excited. Keep in mind, I grew up with the Oriole's teams of the 70's and early 80's where losing seasons were unheard of. So, when the O's began their fifteen year slide, I guess you can understand my disappointment and frustration.

But as the 2102 season began, I instantly saw something different about the team. There seemed to be a comradery and excitement among the players that I hadn't seen in quite some time. Before long, there were dramatic come-from-behind wins and a stellar pitching performances from the starters as well as the bullpen. There seemed to be a hunger to get to the next level. And Manager Buck Showalter had this team believing that they could actually do it!

This team battled the mighty Yankees all the way until the final week of the regular season for the top spot in the American League East. Winning a very impressive 93 games, the Orioles went on to defeat last year's American League champs (Texas Rangers) in the wild card playoff game. From there, they took the Yankees to game five of the divisional playoffs. Of course, the O's came up a little short in the 3-1 loss against New York, but you can't deny that this was an impressive run! (By the way, the Yankees payroll more than doubles the salaries of the Baltimore team. Just sayin'....)

I thoroughly enjoyed watching this year's team. They brought some much needed excitement back to Baltimore baseball fans. Although we're going into week six of the NFL season, up until Friday, most of the sports talk around Baltimore centered around the Oriole's rather than the Ravens. While at a Raven's game a couple of weeks ago, Buck Showalter was in attendance. When the stadium cameras flashed his image on the Jumbotron, the crowd started chanting "Let's Go O's!" This is the first time that I ever remember this happening at a Raven's game. But I liked it.....

Some of my memories of this season:

  • Adam Jones running down balls in centerfield while blowing a softball-size bubble
  • Mark Reynolds going on that week-long homerun tear. He also proved to be a great defensive first baseman down the stretch and into the playoffs
  • Pedro Strop's crooked hat. It drove me nuts every time he took the mound!
  • The introduction of 3rd Baseman Manny Machado. Trust me, this kid is going to be good!
  • Jimmy Johnson setting the O's record of 51 saves. But amazing, he blew two opportunities in the divisional playoffs.
  • Seeing Nate McClouth blaze down to second base and diving safely under the tag
  • The overall utilization of the pitching staff. Keep in mind, the Oriole's won 93 regular season games, but the most wins by any individual pitcher was 12 (Wei-Yin Chen)
  • Watching Matt Wieters gun base-stealers down from his knees
  • My good buddy, Hank, giving me an authentic Oriole's jersey early in the season. I wore it proudly this year!
  • Drinking more Natty-Boh's in the past two weeks than all of my previous years combined!
  • The unexpected criticism that Cal Ripken drew from O's fans on his commentary during the playoffs. I have to admit, when Cal called the Rangers' Adrian Beltre the best 3rd baseman ever, my jaw dropped. Come on Cal, we love ya, you should know that this type of comment isn't going to fly in Baltimore
If Buck Showalter doesn't win Manager of the Year, something is seriously wrong. He has totally turned this team around and most importantly, he has them believing in themselves. This year's Oriole's team reminded me of the early-80's O's teams where everyone contributed in their own little way. And the players seemed to be genuinely having a good time throughout the season. There were no superstars, just a bunch of scappy guys who wanted to go to the next level. And that they did......

Thank you to the 2102 Baltimore Orioles for a superb season. Yes, we do indeed have a reason to celebrate!

kw