Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Wood Shop & Weapons

It seemed like yesterday we were talking about the Brooklyn Park kid who was suspended for possessing a "deadly" Pop-Tart. Well, this morning, I was reading a story about a Chicago-area schoolteacher who was suspended for bringing hand tools into his class. He brought the various items (wrenches, pliers, screwdrivers) into the classroom as visual aids in a discussion about the proper use of tools.*

Now, it seems innocent enough, After all, we use these types of tools regularly for simple household chores. The 17-year elementary-school teacher was probably just trying to give the kids some practical knowledge in hopes that they would actually be able to tell the difference between their ass and a hole in the ground when they went out into the real world. But hold on tight Chicago, we have a problem!

The mentally-challenged idiots, who call themselves school officials, say that the teacher "endangered" his students by putting them in the presence of his tool box. They say that he violated the school's zero-tolerance policy by bringing "weapons" onto school property. The teacher was ultimately suspended and charged with possessing, carrying, storing and/or using a weapon. With this logic, I guess the school maintenance man is required to have a conceal/carry permit?

With this kind of nonsense going on in our public schools, is there any wonder why many of our kids are so screwed up?

I might be incriminating myself and/or my former teacher but I've got a startling confession to make. Way back when I was in 7th grade, part of my school curriculum was (brace yourself folks!).....wood shop! Not only did we have numerous hand tools at our disposal, but we were also expected to use powerful electric band saws and wood lathes. Of course, parents were required to sign a permission slip prior to our class attendance. No parents objected. You see, this was back in the day before we raised our kids to be pussies.

We made all kinds of really cool stuff in wood shop. One of my favorite memories was taking a block of wood, putting it on the wood lathe and then using a small chisel to transform it into a miniature baseball bat. Nowadays, if you did that, a SWAT team would crash through the windows and you would be brought up on a federal assault-weapon charge. The funny thing is that I remember all the kids carrying these little bats throughout the school day. And I don't recall any of them ever being used as a weapon. Although I can remember plenty of fights in the hallways, I don't recall anyone ever getting a wood shampoo.

On an interesting side note, our wood shop teacher, Mr. Poole, used to curse like a drunken sailor. I'm talking f-bombs and everything. I can still remember my first attempt to use the band saw in his class. As I guided a thin piece of wood on the deck of the saw, Mr Poole gave me invaluable advice by saying things like, "For Christ sakes! Don't get so close to the blade, you'll cut your f*cking hand off!" Although he probably never won a Teacher of the Year award, there was something about his unique instruction method that really stuck with me. Although his choice of adjectives might suggest otherwise, Mr. Poole was actually a really nice guy. I always looked forward to his class and his colorful, profanity-laced stories (I now wonder how much influence he may have had on my own "colorful" storytelling along with my insatiable urge to drop the f-bomb into every other sentence). If his class somehow existed today, Mr. Poole would ultimately be sentenced to a lifetime of sensitivity training and his students would have their brains "washed" with prescription drugs.

Hey, I realize that we live in a different time now. Maybe some of the modern precautions are justified. And I certainly don't advocate teachers dropping f-bombs in class. However, when kids are getting suspended for Pop-Tarts and teachers are being brought up on "weapons" charges for a pair of pliers, common sense is as obsolete as Mr. Poole's 7th grade wood shop......

kw

http://cnsnews.com/blog/craig-bannister/teacher-sues-school-over-suspension-weapons-charge-showing-students-garden

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

The Looming Internet Tax

Like most other things these days, online shopping is likely to get a little more expensive. There is currently a bill, which has been enthusiastically endorsed by President Obama, making it's way through the Senate. Essentially, if the bill becomes law, it will require online retailers, such as Amazon, to collect state sales tax on purchases. These taxes would then be sent to the state in which the purchaser resides. Online retailers, in a sense, will now become tax collectors.

Traditionally, in order for a state to collect sales tax from a retail purchase, the retailer would have a physical location within that state. For example, if you live in Texas and buy something from the ABC Company who has a lone physical presence in California, you're online purchase is tax free.

With that being said, there are some states that work off of the "honor system" and require tax payers to report online purchases (and pay the appropriate state sales tax) when they file their income taxes. But, to no one's surprise, hardly anyone ever reports this stuff.

So, the argument for the online taxes is being pushed by the traditional "brick and mortar" stores. They see internet shopping as an unfair disadvantage. I can understand the argument from the smaller "mom and pop" shops to level the playing field. But it's hard to feel a whole lot of sympathy for retail giants like Walmart who, ironically, rose to the top of the mountain by trampling it's smaller competition. So now, all of a sudden, they want to make things fair?

States are also pushing for online sales tax. They are arguing that they're losing out of a boatload of tax money due to their residents shopping online. Proponents are saying that the current sales tax laws were created in a time before people shopped online. So, basically, they saying that the tax laws need to be updated to close the loophole that was produced during the internet age. I'm really surprised they haven't resorted to the "gotta do it for the children" rhetoric.

Not surprising, most consumers are opposed to the proposed online taxes. They see this as just another attempt by "the man" to squeeze blood out of a stone in the form tax dollars. The general perception is that if it exists, politicians will ultimately find a way to tax it. If you need proof of this, you need look no further than Maryland's pending "rain tax".

In the days prior to online shopping, people would often drive into a tax-free state to save a few bucks. For example, in my home state of Maryland, there is currently a 6 percent state sales tax (I expect this to be 7% by the time Governor Owe'Malley leaves office). Delaware, which is right across Maryland's eastern border, has no sales tax. So, if someone needs a high priced item, like a new car for example, it might seem to make financial sense to take a little road-trip to the Blue Hen State. But not so fast. Maryland anticipated this scenario and quickly slammed the door shut on that tax loophole. You see, although Delaware will not charge you sales tax on the purchase of your new car, Maryland certainly will when you register it here. By the way, I find it laughable that Maryland still calls itself the "free state".

To be fair, while Democrats usually get the blame for tax increases, there seems to be a push from both parties for the inevitable internet tax. The bottom line, politicians don't work for their constituents  They work for the people (or businesses) that helped put them in office. Once they get into office, there is tremendous pressure to throw political favors to these folks. Although we'll probably never know the real story, the internet tax is likely one of these paybacks in some shape or form.

Although I'm never happy about paying more taxes and I'm certainly no proponent of an internet tax, I can appreciate the opposing arguments to some degree. However, I can't help but wonder what will be next. For instance, I really don't expect the pending tax to diminish overall online purchases. I, along with many consumers, will continue to shop online because it gives us the ability to find the best price in a matter of minutes. And because the shipping costs are often minimal and sometime even free, it saves us gas money. So, with this being said, how long before one of our tax-happy representatives decides to tax us on the money that we "save". Hey, I know it sounds crazy but so does the Rain Tax which now appears to be a imminent reality. 

Not matter how you feel about it, I think you better be prepared to pay the internet tax in the near future. Yesterday, the Senate voted an overwhelming 74-20 to take up the bill. I would expect the bill to be passed sometime within the next couple of weeks. The cost of living continues to go up in America......

kw

Monday, April 22, 2013

The Subway Communication Breakdown

Why does something as simple as ordering lunch have to be so difficult? I don;t know, maybe this is why most fast food joints have adopted the order-by-number method. But nonetheless, here's my story.....

First off, I happen to really like Subway. The food is always fresh and unless you happen to be on the Adkins Diet, you gotta love that they bake their own bread. I also like the consistency in their product. If you order a Spicy Italian sub in Philadelphia, you're likely to find pretty much the same exact one in Chicago.

But the problem is that there always seems to be a communication breakdown whenever I'm placing my order. Earlier today, I stopped of at a local Subway for lunch. The woman behind the counter had the deer-in-the-headlights (DITH) look, so I expected the usual song-and-dance routine. In broken English, she asks me what I would like. I tell her that I'm all about the 6-inch Italian BMT today. I'm not sure what she didn't understand, but she immediately resumed the DITH stare. After a few moments of awkward silence, I reiterated my order, except this time I kept it on a professional level and spoke more slowly....

"I'd...like.....a..... six....inch....Italian....B....M....T...on....Italian....bread"

She comprehends my request and goes to work splitting the bread and loading it up with the spicy slices of nitrates. Then, just when I thought we were making progress, she looks up and says "Chee?"

Confused, I respond, "I'm sorry. What did you say?"

Again, with no expression on her face, she says, "Chee!"

I turn the guy behind me and ask, "Who the hell is Chee?"

The guy, who seemed to getting irritated, says, "She wants to know if you want cheese."

After finally solving the cheese mystery, she finally throws a couple pieces of pepper-jack onto the project and we move on down to the fixin's station. I tell her put on some lettuce tomato and a little mayonnaise. But I just can't leave it alone. I tell her, "Hey, you know what? I'm not driving, so throw on some pickles too." At this point, I get a little distracted as I fish my cash out of my pocket. When I look back up, she ambushes me with another DITH stare. Realizing what I have to do, I begin to point at the pickles through the sneeze-shield. I must have looked like a kid pointing at the honey-glazed crullers at Dunkin' Donuts. At this stage, I'm thinking that flash cards would be a great idea.

She then asks me if I'd like something to drink. I respond, "Yes, I'd like an iced tea." I have no idea what was so hard to comprehend about this, but confers with the young girl working the cash register. I can't really understand what they're saying, but I'm quite certain I hear the word "tea' mentioned several times. Finally, the DITH woman looks at me and says, "Tea?" I point towards the beverages and say, "Yes, Tea". Again, but this time with a more confused look, the woman says, "Tea?" Most people would just order a Coke or Pepsi and be done with it. But, unless it has a healthy dose of rum in it, I usually don't drink soda. So, for some crazy reason, I make the "T" sign with my hands. Now, the woman is really confused. She thinks that I'm giving her the "time-out" sign.

I can sense the guy behind me is getting more irritated. But what the hell did I do? I'm just trying to order a Spicy BMT and go about my business. In an act of what I perceived to be divine intervention, the woman finally goes over to the beverage station and pours me an iced tea. Hallelujah!

As the two woman complete my order, they go into an extended conversation in a foreign language. This really annoys me because, although I can't comprehend a word they're saying, I get the feeling that they're talking about me. And this same thing has happened to some of my friends. To me, this is just as rude as whispering in front of someone. My buddy, Ray, ran into this exact situation at a Subway a year or so ago. Paraphrasing here, in the nicest way he knew how, he summed it up by saying, "You guys shouldn't do that shit. It's f*ckin' rude!"

Hey look, I'm not busting on anyone because they can't speak English. At least they're trying to speak a second language. Hell, I took six years of French and can barely put together a full sentence. I guess I just get a little annoyed when a language barrier gets between my and my lunch.....

kw

Sunday, April 14, 2013

Snubbing A Living Legend

All right folks, gather 'round and let me tell you a little story.....

Way back in 1951, a young single mother named Sonya gave birth to her second son. She named her new son, Benjamin. Sonya struggled financially, sometimes working two or three jobs to support her boys. And although the family was poor, Sonja proved to be a positive influence on her sons by her work ethic and management skills.

As young Ben adjusted to the inner city life of Detroit, he began to struggle with his grades. He was often ridiculed by other students. Ben began to develop a violent temper. This prompted Sonya to take action. The first thing she did was limit the amount of time her son spent in front the TV. She also required him to read two books a week and write reports. Along with his brother, Ben wasn't allowed to go outside and play until his homework was completed. Although her friends often criticized her for strict rules, Sonya was determined to give her sons an opportunity to succeed in life.

Before long, Ben began to amaze his teachers and developed an insatiable appetite for knowledge. By the time Ben got to middle school, his grades improved dramatically and he was at the top of his class. In high school, he excelled academically and went on to graduate with honors.

Ben progressed to Yale University where he earned a degree in psychology. He had a real interest in a medical career and went on to attend the School of Medicine at the University of Michigan. While here, Ben got married to Candy. After earning his medical degree, Ben and his new bride moved to Baltimore where he became a resident at Johns Hopkins. He continued to impress his peers and by 1982, Ben was Hopkins' chief resident in neurosurgery.

In 1983, Ben was lured to Australia where he took the job of neurosurgeon at Sir Charles Gairdner Hospital. It was here where he honed his surgical skills.

Ben returned to Johns Hopkins the next year and in 1985 he became the director of neurosurgery at the age of 33. Pretty impressive, huh? Well, read on......

To say that Ben had a legendary career would be an understatement. He has received more than 50 honorary doctorate degrees. CNN and Time Magazine both listed him as one of country's top 20 doctors and scientists. He has been named a living legend by the Library of Congress. He has received the Springarn Medal, the highest honor awarded by the NAACP. He received the Presidential Medal of Freedom by George W. Bush. Ben is also a member of the Alpha Honor Medical Society as well as the Horatio Alger Socirty of Distinguished Americans. Oh yeah, and while not saving lives and making medical history, Ben also found time to write four best selling books. And these are just some of Ben's achievements!  Not bad for a poor, black kid from Detroit, huh?

In case anyone hasn't figured it out yet, I've been talking about world renown neurosurgeon, Dr. Ben Carson.

Now, you would think that Carson would be an inspiration to all of us. Just think about where he came from and the obstacles he had to overcome. Think about his mother's determination and guidance. This man not only makes me proud to be an American, he makes me proud to be a human being. My friends, Ben Carson is the American success story! But believe it or not, there are some people who have a problem with Dr. Carson....

It started when Dr. Carson recently spoke at the National Prayer Breakfast in front of President Obama. Carson spoke out against political correctness and voiced criticism of Obama. His views, viewed are largely conservative, ruffled a lot of feathers on the left who seem to have a selective interpretation of the whole freedom-of-speech thing.

Carson pushed the envelope even further went he voiced his opposition to same-sex marriage on the Sean Hannity show. Admittedly, he may walked into a hornet's nest when he mentioned NAMBLA and bestiality in the same sentence as gays. Essentially, he was saying that the traditional marriage between a man and a woman should stay intact. But the left ran with it and Carson was ultimately forced to apologize. But, of course, it wasn't good enough....

Carson was scheduled to give this year's commencement speech at Johns Hopkins School of Medicine. But due to protest over his recent comments, Carson agreed to step down as speaker. True to character, Carson explained that he didn't want to distract from the student's graduation day.

Are you kidding me?

These people are going to turn their backs of one of the most brilliant minds and success stories of our time because he believes in traditional marriage? I thought liberals were supposed to be open minded! What are they putting in the water in our schools? Carson has said that we need to put political correctness to bed so that we can openly discuss our differences and resolve the real problem. How can any rational person have an issue with that?

I would think that listening to a speech by Dr, Carson, especially during a commencement address, would be an inspirational experience of a lifetime. But, because of what I can only perceive as an indoctrinated mind-f*ck, the students at Hopkins has succeeded in snubbing the great Ben Carson. All I can say is that it's their loss......

kw

Friday, April 12, 2013

The Maryland Rain Tax

You gotta give it to Maryland's governor, he's persistent. Specifically, when it comes to raising the cost of living for his constituents, Martin Owe'Malley is a thoroughbred. In his latest tax proposal  he wants to tax Maryland residents on the rain that falls on their property. Stop laughing, I'm totally serious. This latest tax will be determined by the size of your roof and paved surfaces.  In his never ending pursuit to squeeze every last dollar out of the working class, Owe'Malley is proposing what will be called a "storm management fee". I guess calling it a "fee" instead a tax, is supposed to make it sound a little less painful.

I'm not even sure how this new "fee" is going to apply to neighborhoods like mine since we have no storm drains! Basically, the water goes back into the ground. So, if I understand it correctly, I'm going to be taxed on the rain run-off that doesn't exist. Talk about taxation without representation! Aside from all of this, many Marylanders are already getting hit with the "Bay Restoration" flush tax. With new rain tax, we're now going to get taxed on different types of water! This stuff is getting harder and harder to comprehend.

And how do you even calculate the amount of rain on a person's property. I've often driven through a torrential downpour in nearby Glen Burnie only to pull into my bone-dry driveway in Pasadena. In this case, not only does the run-off not exist, but neither does the rain! And I'm still going to get taxed on it? Someone please explain to me how this is fair!

I'm really having a hard time grasping this. How in the hell can you tax someone on the weather? It's not like we have any say in whether it rains or not. I don't even like rain. And now I have to pay for it?

No doubt, the guitar-strumming Irishman in Annapolis is absolutely relentless when it comes to tax or "fee" increases. Since he moved to Annapolis, here are some examples of his handywork:*

  • The state sales tax increased from 5% to 6% (for you mathematically-challenged folks, that's actually a 20% increase)
  • Vehicle titling tax more than doubled from $23 to $50
  • State corporate sales tax increased from 7% to 8.25%
  • Approved the "speed monitoring system" aka speed cameras
  • Increased tolls (Local tunnels from $2 to $3 and Bay Bridge from $2.50 to $4)
  • Cigarette tax increased from doubled from $1 to $2 per pack
  • Vehicle dealer processing fee increased from $100 to $300
  • Vehicle titling tax increased from $50 to $100
  • Vanity plates doubled from $25 to $50
  • The tax on alcoholic beverages increased from 6% to 9%
  • Assuring that he gets you whether you're coming or going, the fee for birth and death certificates doubled from $12 to $24
  • Top marginal income tax rates were increased from 5.5% to 6.25%
I'm almost afraid to think about what this guy will want to tax next. Maryland residents often joke about getting taxed on the air that they breathe. But is it really a joke anymore? I truly believe that if Owe'Malley can find a way, he will indeed propose an air tax. 

Assuming that an air tax is inevitable, how far will that go?  Since we're already being taxed on different types of water, can we expect the same for air? For instance, in the case of flatulence, will there be an additional methane tax? Or will we simply be cited for air pollution? Hey, you go ahead and laugh but did you know that places like Ireland and Denmark already have a cow flatulence tax? If Owe'Malley ever gets "wind" of this, can a people flatulence tax be far behind?

There's no telling how far any of this will go. Today, it's rain. Tomorrow, it could be anything.....

kw


Monday, April 8, 2013

A Day at Harbor Freight Tools

For those who aren't familiar with Harbor Freight Tools, it's basically like the Walmart of tool stores. The aisles are populated with ridiculously cheap Chinese-made tools and other gadgets. For the price of one screwdriver at Sears, you can buy a whole set at Harbor Freight.

Now, the tools are one thing, but the people at HFT are in a league of their own. They have subtle similarities to Walmart shoppers, but they also have peculiarities that make them disturbingly unique. For instance, many of the older shoppers like to walk around the store hunched over a shopping cart. Even if you happen to engage in a conversation with one of these guys, the whole time they're talking to you, they're bent over at the waist with their torso over top of the cart. They also give the impressive that they have absolutely nowhere else to be. They're kind of like the Senior Coffee Club at Dunkin' Donuts.

The shoppers at HFT also tend to be very loud and opinionated. They remind me the obnoxious drunk that you might see annoying people at a local dive bar. You'll hear these geniuses from across the store as they critique the selection of pipe wrenches. I actually heard one guy say that one particular wrench had a nice balance and that it would also make a nice "skull thumper". And just like that, a new era of the wood shampoo was born.

I saw one pock-mocked, long-haired guy who had an uncanny resemblance to former Kiss guitarist Ace Frehley. He was talking noticeably loud on his cell phone as he wandered aimlessly through the store. Ace became more frustrated and animated as the phone call went on. Before long, he was throwing his hands into the air and cursing like Tony Soprano.Why do people do this in public??

And then there was two other guys who resembled the villains in one of those old "Last House on the Left" movies. They were both unshaven with long scraggly hair and weathered flannel shirts. They just seemed a bit creepy to me. To make things just a little more bizarre, they happened to be looking at axes. I quickly moved on to another aisle.....

Now, I'm not saying that I'm any better or smarter than anyone else, but I do have basic manners and etiquette. The average shopper at Harbor Freight lacks both. Little things like holding the door and saying "Excuse me" seem to be totally foreign to these folks. While I was standing in the checkout line, an elderly man was directly behind me leaning heavy into his shopping cart. He kept running the cart into the back of my leg. Not wanting to cause a scene, I just let it go and moved ahead a couple of feet. Right on cue, the old man moves ahead with me. He pushes the cart until it comes to a complete stop, courtesy of my ass. I turn around and give him the "WTF look". But he was oblivious to the whole situation as he hummed some incoherent song and stared blankly into his cart. What could I really do? For all I knew, this guy may have wondered off from the assisted living home. I just wanted to get out there. As luck would have it, the guy in front of me was having a disagreement with the cashier over a "free miniature flashlight" coupon. After what seemed like an eternity, I finally paid for my items and walked towards to exit.

As I approach the exit, the guy in front of me lets the door slam. I never understood this. Didn't we all learn by the age of ten to hold the door for people? Anyway, I caught the door in just enough time to avoid a broken nose. As I made my way outside, I gave the guy a sarcastic, "Thanks alot, bud!" But he just looked back at me with the deer-in-the-headlights look.

I guess this is the price you pay for saving a few bucks. But next time, although it will certainly cost me more, I think I'll avoid the sideshow acts and just go to Sears.....

kw

Sunday, April 7, 2013

Be Careful Who You Call Good-Looking

Earlier this week, President Obama was pressured to apologize for a remark he made regarding the appearance of California Attorney general, Kamala Harris. What did he say that got everyone up in arms? He said that Harris was the best looking attorney general in the country. I'm still trying to figure what was so bad about his comment. Our country has gotten so politically correct, that it's now an insult to compliment someone.

This kind of thing amazes me. We've got Little Kim over in North Korea trying to figure out how to launch missiles at us but people in this country are upset because the President gives a casual compliment to an old friend. Hey look, I'm certainly no fan of Obama. I'm only using him in this latest example to illustrate my point. 

Some people claim that Obama's remarks were "sexist". Really? What's so sexist about calling someone good looking? Now, if he went the Bill Clinton route, and said, "Damn! She's hot as balls! I'd sure like to hit that!"...Now, that would be sexist.

Hey look, I can understand, in certain situations, where referring to someone's looks might be controversial. For instance, it's probably not good to tell a coworker that he or she is good looking. It always has the potential to open up the door to a sexual harassment case. I normally wouldn't even mention a "he" in this situation but I saw how Michael Douglas got shafted by Demi Moore in "Disclosure".

But back to Obama's situation. His type of remark will usually draw criticism, especially from women, because it gives the insinuation that a woman's success is, at least partially, due to her good looks. And although we all know that this scenario does indeed exist at times, it's one of those things that people just won't talk about. Let's face it, right or wrong, good looks do have their benefits.

But here's a contrasting scenario for you, Suppose, just suppose, that Obama, Clinton or anyone else for that matter, said something like, "Although the Attorney General has a face that could make an onion cry, she's an inspiration to countless ugly people around the world.. A long fall out of the ugly tree doesn't mean that you can't achieve the highest levels of success.." Would this be considered sexist? Could it somehow be considered a compliment? Or would it just  be wrong? See how confusing this is??

As most of you know, I don't defend Obama very often, But I definitely think this recent incident with the California Attorney General was way overblown. Let's stop nit-picking and move on to real issues....

kw

Thursday, April 4, 2013

Fix Your Crooked Hat!

Last night, I'm at Mike's Crabhouse in Pasadena watching a close game between the Orioles and Devil Rays. The game was all knotted up 4-4 after six innings. The O's went on to add another run in the top of the seventh giving Baltimore fans something to cheer about. But then, as Tampa Bay prepared to bat in the bottom of the inning, the Orioles sent in reliever Pedro Strop. And that's where I nearly came unglued......

This guy really pisses me off. Wanna know why? It's real simple. He wears his hat crooked. Yeah, I know it sounds crazy but the mere sight of this guy with his hat cocked to the left side always raises my blood pressure. His piss-poor pitching performance (try saying that five times really fast!) last night nearly made me throw my beer mug across the room. While the Devil Ray players are crossing home plate, Strop stands on the mound with a frown and his crooked hat. Here's the thing... fans might be willing to ignore the dunce look if you're striking guys out. But as soon as you start getting racked, they're always going to come back to the crooked hat. Trust me, I've heard it.......

I'm actually surprised that Oriole's manager Buck Showalter puts up with this nonsense. He seems to be an old-school kind of baseball guy. I think he should give Strop an ultimatum: You don't pitch until you put your hat on straight! He should remind Strop that he's on center stage at The Big Show and not kickin' it with his homies back in the 'hood. This is the same organization that brought us class acts like Brooks Robinson, Eddie Murray and Cal Ripken. So, it should be understandable why it upsets me to see someone "disrespecting" the black and orange in such a silly way.

And if Strop's crooked hat wasn't bad enough, Tampa Bay sent their closer, Fernando Rodney, to the mound in the ninth inning. And to my dismay, his hat was more crooked than Strop's! WTF is going on here! I was losing my mind. It was as if someone was poking me with a stick. I don't know why this stuff bothers me so much, but it really does. Why do these guys do this? Are they trying to look hard? Or are they simply trying to send a message that says, "Hey kids, even idiots can play in the big leagues. So, turn your hat sideways and go for your dreams!"

Hey look, I don't have anything personal against either one of these guys. Hell, if I ever met them, I would probably even like them. But I'm sure at some point during our conversation, I'd say, "Dude, can you please fix your f*cking hat? It's driving me nuts!" Am I being that unreasonable?

kw

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Companies - Getting More Personal

A proposal is being introduced in the state of Washington that would allow employers to ask for employee's Facebook and other social networking passwords under certain circumstances. The proposed amendment will be added to the current bill which currently protects the passwords of employees and job applicants. Just last year, the AP reported that several companies had been requesting passwords from potential employees during the interview process.

As expected, these requests are largely viewed as an invasion of privacy. And as a result, several states have recently banned employers from making such requests and many more are currently looking into similar bans. However, in the case of Washington, should the amendment pass, employers will then be allowed to request the passwords during company investigations. The question is: What constitutes a "company investigation"? Suppose an employee is videotaped in the lunchroom using more than the approved number of Splenda packets in his morning coffee. Could the company accuse him of theft and demand to see his Facebook password? Sure, it sounds crazy, but anything is possible these days.

And how for will it go? If it's Facebook passwords today, how long will it be before companies get even more personal and intrusive? I can see it now........

"Excuse me, Mr. Smith. We, here at the XYZ Company, have reason to believe that you may have stolen a legal pad  and a handful of breath mints. We are asking you to surrender your keys so that we may conduct a thorough search of your home and automobile. If the search fails to turn up any incriminating evidence, we will then ask for your permission to conduct an intensive body-cavity search in which you will be probed like the bottom of a peanut butter jar. If we STILL fail to uncover any contraband, you will then. and ONLY then, be allowed to resume your normal workday activities while under heavy video surveillance. Mr. Smith, do we have your full cooperation?"

So, I guess you can understand why some people get a little antsy when it comes to surrendering access to their person stuff. Hell, we've all seen some of the crazy posts on Facebook. Many employers would, no doubt, be quite surprised to see the "other side" of some of their workers. Aside from the stupid duck-face photos, I have heard of people losing their jobs over their reckless online posts. I saw where one guy called his boss a worthless, douchebag. By the end of the day, can you believe that he was unemployed? Who would have ever saw that one coming? If I could offer you one piece of advice, it's this..... If you have a beef with a co-worker, a boss or the company in general, venting your frustrations on Facebook is NEVER a good idea. It's actually downright stupid.

Sorry, I'm starting to sound like Dr. Phil.....

To be fair, as I mentioned earlier, there are certain provisions that will be built into the Washington amendment. For instance, the social media passwords would only be requested when the company is doing an investigation concerning work-place misconduct or instances where propriety information was thought to have been given away. Also, the employee would be present while the employer is conducting any searches. Any information would be kept confidential unless it leads to a criminal investigation.

The original bill's sponsor, Democrat Sen. Steven Hobbs, has not taken to time to read the amendment yet. Perhaps he should make some time since this one is sure to ruffle more than a few feathers.....

kw