2013 - Another Exciting O's Season

The Orioles were clinging to the last bit of hope to make the playoffs prior to this past weekend's 4-game series with Tampa Bay. Ideally they needed to sweep, but winning three out of four would have still kept them hanging by a thread. However, things went totally south and the O's wound up losing all four and thus suspending their playoff hopes until next season.

As disappointed as I am about missing the playoffs, I have to give kudos to the team for keeping me thrilled and entertained all summer. For many years, the O's seemed to be out of the playoff picture by the All-Star break. And quite honestly, there wasn't a whole lot to cheer about. But things are much better now as the September games actually mean something again.

There were plenty positive things to focus on this season. Chris Davis came right out of the gate with fireworks in his bat. When Davis connected, you knew instantly that the ball wasn't coming back. Some of his shots were absolutely mind-blowing. I can remember watching one game where Davis blasted one into the centerfield stratosphere. I happened to be alone, so my only disappointment was that I didn't have anyone to high-five. I really wish Davis could have broken Roger Maris' record of 61 home-runs. But at least he broke the all-time Oriole's record. Maybe he'll catch Maris next year.....

When it came to defense this year, the Orioles were stellar. I've been watching baseball since I was eight years old and this year's team was the best defensive team that I've ever seen. Some of the acrobatic plays by 3rd baseman Manny Machado simply amazed me. I've said it before and I'll say it again, Manny Machado is the best 3rd baseman to wear the black and orange since Brooks Robinson. Machado's talent is superb on the offensive side as well. He delivered many clutch hits throughout the season. It's hard to believe that this guy just turned twenty-one. It was heartbreaking to watch him being carted off the field on a stretcher after he injured his knee this past Monday. But the good news is that it's not too serious and he'll be back adding to his highlight reel of plays next season.

The defense certainly didn't stop with Machado. The O's were solid all the way around the diamond. I can't ever remember seeing so many outstanding plays from one team. It's quite possible that the Orioles could have five Gold Glove recipients this year. In my opinion, Chris Davis, Matt Wieters, Adam Jones, JJ Hardy and Manny Machado are all serious contenders for the award.

Of course, when it comes to offense, most of the attention has been on Chris Davis. But somewhat overlooked is that Adam Jones has 32 HR's and 100+ RBI's. That's a career year for most players. Aside for the big overall numbers, most of the other player's stepped up and delivered at some point in the season. The Oriole's have shown that they're a team. I'm not sure if the credit should go to Buck Showalter, but it's nice to see these guys pulling for each other. They appear to share camaraderie reminiscent of those classic O's teams of yesteryear..

Lastly, I need to say a few things about the O's pitching. First off, it was comfortingly to see that O's had a legitimate shot at having their first 20-game winner (Chris Tillman) in nearly 30 years. Tillman showed that he has the ability to be the ace of the staff. Although, he came up a little short, I look for Chris to make another strong run in 2014. Wei-Yen Chen started the season a little late, but showed signs of promise. He got roughed up early in a few outings but I still have confidence in him. However, if the O's are going to make a serious run next season, I think they're going to have to sign another quality starter this winter. We need a guy who can pitch into the late innings which will help keep the bullpen fresh.

Speaking of the bullpen, at times, they looked brilliant. Darrin O'Day and Tommy Hunter had good stuff all year. The biggest problem was they they were overworked at times. In today's fascination with the pitch count, even when pitching well, starters are sometimes pulled by the 5th inning. The biggest disappointment with the bullpen the closer role. Jimmy Johnson, who actually has an impressive-looking 47 saves, was downright frustrating at times. He uncharacteristically blew several saves this year, leaving fans wondering what the hell happened. Johnson, who almost always seem to let the lead-off man aboard, has become the modern version of Don "Fullpack" Stanhouse*. It will be interesting to see if the O's try to transition Johnson out of the closer role next season.

With all of this being said, I absolutely enjoyed watching the Orioles this year. The never-ending supply of dramatic moments and spectacular plays always left me wanting more. Although they didn;t quite make the post-season this year, the excitement was always there. And that's what really matters. No doubt, baseball is alive and well in Baltimore......

kw

* Don Stanhouse was the O's closer in the late 70's. He would often put multiple runners on base, creating volatile situations. Manager Earl Weaver would often be seen pacing the dugout and chain-smoking while Stanhouse attempted to pitch his way out of these jams. Weaver began to refer to him as "Fullpack" because of the amount of cigarettes he consumed while Stanhouse was on the mound.

Dancing With Sweet Pea

The off-field antics of NFL players can sometimes be almost as intriguing as their accomplishments on the turf. The latest incident involves none other than "Dancing With The Stars" finalist and Super Bowl Champ, Jacoby Jones.

Although the Raven's wide receiver has been sidelined since the opening game with a sprained MCL, it didn't stop him from suiting up for a ride on the party bus. The Raven's star was out celebrating teammate Bryant McKinney's birthday late Sunday night. McKinney, as you might recall, was involved in the infamous Minnesota Vikings' Love Boat incident several years ago. So it's probably not too surprising that a group of strippers was hired to assist with entertainment duties on Sunday's party bus. And in the case, what happened on the party bus, didn't actually stay on the party bus.....

Somewhere after the pole the last pole dance, Jacoby Jones was cold-cocked with a bottle of Ace of Spades. I guess Jacoby never got the memo about keeping his hands off of the dancers? Although we don't have all of the details, it has been reported that a stripper known as Sweet Pea (no relation to Popeye) is the one who thumped Jones with the gigantic bottle of French champagne. Hypnotic and Ciroc might be thump-worthy in the hood, but this is the big leagues, son!

Jones was reported to have been "bleeding all over the place" and an ambulance was called to the scene of the party bus. Probably nursing a pretty bad headache, Jones appeared at the Raven's practice facility on Monday morning to undergo his scheduled rehab procedures. Coach John Harbaugh didn't talk too much about the incident, but he did mention that he wasn't impressed with the details. I saw a photo of the Sweet Pea and company and I have to tell you, I wasn't impressed with the caliber of strippers these million dollar athletes hired. Come on guys, you're the Super Bowl champs! Is a stripper named after a comic strip really the best you could do?

I had never heard of "Ace of Spades" before the Jones thumping, so I did a little research. It turns out that it's actually a French champagne called Armand de Brignac. It's sold in a metallic bottle with an Ace of Spades logo, thus the nickname. It comes in bottles, ranging in size from 750 milliliters all the way up to 30 liters. The champagne gained noted visibility when rapper, Jay-Z, appeared with a bottle in a 2006 video.

So, let this be a lesson folks. If you you ever cross a busload of husky strippers and a 3-foot bottle of Armand de Brignac, run in the other direction!

kw

Cracking The Looking Glass Self

During my brief stint in psychology-101 way back in the day, I learned about things like self-image and "looking-glass" self. These are terms that describe how we think we're perceived by others. Sometimes people perceive us totally different than we would expect.

Through the years, I have met several people who attempted to clear this up for me. I've listed several examples below. As you'll see, many of these encounters took place in drinking establishments which may help explain some of the stranger encounters. At least that's what I'm hoping......

• Having a beer at a local bar several years ago, I struck up a lengthy conversation with an elderly black man. Somehow, we got on the subject of blues musicians. We're exchanging stories of blues legends such as John Lee Hooker, Howlin' Wolf and good ol' Lead Belly. I'm thinking that I'm really impressing the old man with my knowledge of these guys. Well, after a while, he scratches his chin and says, "Son, you impress me as a person who knows a little bit about everything but not much about nuthin'." 

• One time, Tina and I were sitting in a hotel lounge in Pennsylvania. The place was very crowded. We happened to have two empty seats at our table. There were two women who appeared to be looking for a place to sit, so we invited them to sit with us. It turned out that they were lesbians. We spent a couple hours knocking back drinks and talking about everything from religion to politics. When we eventually said goodbye, one of the women shakes my hand and says," You are the coolest Republican that I've ever met."

• I was recently at a wake and found myself sitting at a table with a strange-looking guy whom I had never met. He eventually asks, "Are you the fire chief?" Somewhat surprised, I tell him that I've never worked for the fire department. Then he asks, "Are you a politician or something?" Again, I smile and tell him that I'm not. He closes by saying," Ok. With your slicked back hair and all, I just figured that you were someone important."

• I stopped off at a Glen Burnie bar several years ago to shoot a game of pool. I was dressed in a pair of khakis and a collared shirt. Apparently, this raised a red flag to the intellectually-challenged bar crowd. Before long, a drunk walks up to me and asks,"Hey man, are you a cop?" I tell him that I'm not. Obviously not believing me, he follows up with, "Well, everyone here thinks that you are. You better watch your back." Even though I wasn't a cop, I had to wonder why these Mensa candidates thought it might a good idea to threaten one. And if that wasn't bad enough, another knucklehead comes up to me and says, "Hey man, word has it that you're in here to buy drugs. Just to let you know, we don't do that kind of stuff here." Looking around the barroom made me seriously doubt this man's last sentence. I figured, at that point, I should probably leave before someone mistook me for Elvis.

• On a similar note, last year in Delaware, a guy walks up to me and says, "Did anyone ever tell you that you look like Mitt Romney?"

• A guy at the local tennis court motions for me to come over. I walk over to meet him and he greets me by saying, "How have you been? You look like you're really packing on the pounds." I respond,"Yes, I am. And thank you so much for noticing!"

• I was killing time waiting for a flight in Newark, NJ. I walked into the crowded airport bar and approached the burly barmaid. Once we make eye contact, I say, "When you get a chance, can I get a beer?" This sets the woman off and she responds, "Don't you come in here ordering me around! I'll get you a damned beer if I feel like getting you a damned beer!" Equally pissed and scared, the only response that I could muster was, "Wow! I think someone needs a hug!"

• Several years ago, I'm out with a buddy at a popular summer-time watering hole on Maryland's eastern shore. My friend, who is single, sees a group of attractive women at the bar. He's hoping somehow to strike up a conversation with them. So, being a good friend, I offer to be his "wing man". In a nonchalant attempt to introduce my buddy to the group of ladies, I hand my cell phone/camera to the most attractive one and ask, "Excuse me, would you mind taking a picture me and my friend?" The woman says,"Sure." She snaps the photo, and as she's looking it, she says,"Wow, that turned out nice. You guys are really cute. How long have you been together?"......Obviously, not the plan I was shooting for.

Deep down inside everyone has an image of what they think they look like on the outside. But as you can see, it's not always what you think.....

kw

Turn Off Your Damned Cell Phone!

We've all experienced those inconsiderate cell phone interruptions from time to time. From business meetings to Sunday mass, you can always count on hearing the distinct ring-tone from some dumbass's smartphone.

Case in point....

Earlier this week, I attended a funeral service. Although the occasion was somber, the actual service was quite beautiful. Several speakers shared their fond memories of their departed friend and family member. The speeches were humorous as well as emotional and very touching. The first speech was given by a well-known former member of Congress. Although she was speaking through the church's PA system, her voice was still hard to hear. So, understandably, everyone was trying to concentrate on the pronunciation of her every word. Well, at one point, a cell phone rings. A guy in the next set of pews immediately pulls out his phone and appears to turn it off. Then, about two minutes later, it rings again! This time, the guy stands up and heads towards the exit, in what I'm assuming was a mad dash to answer the phone.

This should have been a reminder to everyone else to check their phone. But, of course that didn't happen. Before long, another phone rang. If there was ever a reason to slap someone silly, this would be right at the top of the list.

Although it didn't happen in this case, I've seen this one play out as well. A guy gets a phone call in the middle of an important event. Instead of just hitting the ignore or mute button, he'll answer the damned thing. And then, He'll make matters worse by going into this song and dance:

"Hey, I'm in the middle of something. Let me call you back.....Right....Gotcha.......OK... No, no, tell them to wait until I call back.....Huh?......No way!........Hey, look, I really gotta go....."

And as the guy realizes that he's become a major distraction, he'll shrug his shoulders and point to his phone as if to blame the person on the other end. Of course, he'll still continue to blabber on:

"Hey look man, I gotta go, people are staring at me.....Seriously, let me call you right back....Yeah, ok.......This is crazy....I know, I know.....Just wait 'til I call back, ok?......Ok, bye."

And then after he finishes and realizes that everyone is staring at him, the guy will say, "Damn, I couldn't get 'em off the phone. Sorry about that."

It's really starting to get ridiculous.. Have we become so dependant on our cell phones that we can't turn them off or leave them in the car for an hour? Will life cease to exist if we are separated from our phones for any length of time?

Back to the guy at the funeral.....

We eventually make our way to the cemetery. Every one is gathered around the casket as military honors are being performed. If you've ever experienced this, you know that it's a very emotional ceremony. So, unbelievably, right in the middle of all this, a cell phone goes off. And can you guess who it belonged to? Yep, that's right, it was the same guy from the church! I couldn't believe it. I felt like grabbing his phone and smashing it over his numb skull. As much as it would have been welcomed, it would have only created even more of a distraction. So, the only thing anyone could do was shoot the guy a dirty look. (But I understand my brother-in-law gave him a well-deserved earful later. Good for him...)

So. the next time that you're attending an "uninterruptible" event, please don't be "that asshole". Do everyone a favor and puh-lease mute your damned cell phone!

kw

The "Million" Muslim March

When it was reported that the "Million Muslim March" would be held in Washington DC on September 11, it was expectedly met with outrage from many Americans. In an attempt to soften things up, organizers decided to rename the event to the "Million American March Against Fear". And when no one bought into this bullshit, the event was changed back to it's original name.

Let me just say this, I have no personal beef with American Muslims. If they love this country, they have just as much right to the freedoms of any American citizen. However, I have to wonder what the organizers of today's march were thinking. September 11 is still a very emotional day for many Americans. Many view it as a sacred day, as well. So why would Muslims, of all people choose this day to hold their march on our nations capital?

At this time, let's take a detour and cut right through the bullshit......

It wasn't Irish Catholics, Buddhists or the f*cking Amish who flew those planes into our buildings 12 years ago. It was a group of radical Muslims. So, when another group of Muslims, regardless of their intentions, chooses to have a march on the anniversary of 3000 American murders at the hands of Muslims, we tend to get a little pissed! Spin it any way you want, but today's march was nothing more than a "poke in the eye" of every American who had to experience the senseless violence from the 9/11 attacks.

The "purpose" of today's march, which was organized by the American Muslim Political Action Committee (AMPAC), was to bring attention to the claim that Muslims have been victims of anti-Islamic bigotry ever since the 9/11 attacks. I'm not saying that there isn't some stereotyping. But did they have to pick September 11 to protest their point? Of course, they didn't. But they did it anyway, knowing that it would piss people off. Pouring salt in an emotional wound is never a good idea. Perhaps a better idea would have been to have a remembrance of 9/11 victims and speaking out against the assholes that perpetrated the violence. Excuse me if I'm not overly sympathetic to your bigotry allegations today. You see, I still have images of people jumping to their deaths from the Twin Towers clouding my mind....

Kudos to all of the bikers who made the trek down to DC today. You guys did America proud and I will tip back a cold one in gratitude this evening. Ironically, the bikers were denied the same "march" permit that "oppressed" group of Muslims was granted. Hmmm......

If any American Muslim feels that he or she has been a victim of discrimination, simply produce the evidence and due course will follow. I'm sure there will be plenty of ACLU lawyers lining up to get some of that action. Just don't ever think of disrespecting this sacred American anniversary again! Thank you....

kw

The Fat Police

In 2010, Michelle Obama successfully pushed for the passage of the Healthy, Hunger-Free Kid's Act. The following year, the USDA redefined their requirements to ensure more healthy school lunches. This was an effort to combat childhood obesity. So far, it seems like like a pretty good idea, huh?

But problems mounted when kids were introduced to foreign substances like apples and carrots. Conditioned by years of Twinkies and Mountain Dew, the youngsters revolted at the idea of putting healthy food products through their developing digestive systems. Their biggest complaint was that fruits and vegetables simply lacked the flavor of their artificially-flavored counterparts.

In Wisconsin, school kids went as far as staging a "hunger strike" by boycotting the new school lunches. They viewed the confiscation of their Tastykakes and Doritos as cruel and unusual punishment from The Man (or the First Lady in this case). And in Kansas, in response to smaller portion sizes, schoolkids made a video suggesting that they weren't getting enough food. Make no bones about it, the kids are getting pissed.

Aside from the nutritional efforts to make kids healthier, there was also a "Play-60" initiative introduced a few years ago which encouraged kids to go outside and play for 60 minutes a day. That's right, in today's video-game dominated society, kids actually have to be encouraged to go outside and play.

The latest effort to build a healthier child comes to us from Los Angeles, where "fat letters" are being sent home to parents. Schools are sending these letters home to inform parents that their child is overweight. I guess the parents didn't notice at the family dinner at Burger King the night before? And how is the parent supposed to respond to the letter. Should they pull little Johnie from his X-Box and say, "Son, we don't know how to break this to you. You're fat?" Now, in addition to having an overweight kid, we're going to have a kid with self-esteem issues.

On a serious note, I agree that there's room for improvement in the overall health and fitness of today's kids. Each generation is becoming progressively less active. And modern kids get way too much "nutrition" from overly processed foods not only from places like McDonalds but from their own refrigerators. The big question in my mind is: Do we really need PSA's, letters from the school and Acts of Congress to make kids eat an apple or ride a bike? If we do, it's pretty sad......

kw

The 2013 Orioles - A Few Observations

No doubt, watching the Baltimore Orioles this year has had it's ups and downs. But, hey, at least they're interesting enough to keep us tuning in, right?. At this stage of the season, the hopes of winning the American League East are all but over. But if the O's can put together any kind of winning streak, they are still within striking distance of one of those coveted Wild Card spots. Let's keep cheering them on and hope for the best.

I have been to several games this year and watched plenty more of them on TV. Aside from the normal baseball stuff, I have made some other interesting observations....

• Manny Machado is the best Oriole 3rd baseman since Brooks Robinson
• Chris Davis always comes to the plate with a big wad of something stuffed under his bottom lip. At first I figured it was chewing tobacco, but from some of the bombs that Davis has hit this year, I'm starting to believe that it might be spinach
• Jim Johnson elevates the fans' blood pressure more than a Double Whopper with Cheese
• Pedro Strop's crooked hat was the dumbest looking thing to hit Camden Yards since The Wave 
• Nate McClouth could easily pass for a member of The Back Street Boys. And where does he get his hats? The visor is usually the size of Little Italy. But, I'll admit, the guy can play!
• If the Birds score ten runs tonight, there's a good chance that they'll be shutout tomorrow
• Adam Jones spits a lot
• The batters adjust their batting gloves after every single pitch
• When Buck Showalter talks, he sounds just like Billy Bob Thorton
• Matt Weiters has a really dirty batting helmet
• Baltimore's DH may be designated for something, but I really don't think that it's for hitting
• Brian Roberts' salary this year was $10 million. He has batted 178 times. That's over $56,000 for each at-bat.
• Bent over with his hands on his knees, 3rd Base coach Bobby Dickerson often looks like he's more ready to field a ground ball than the opposing shortstop
• If Nick Markakis shaves right before the game, he will have a full beard by the 7th inning stretch

kw