One the main gripes that I have at this time of year is the challenges that come with driving. We all have responsibilities that require us to get from point A to point B. And most of us accomplish this seemingly uneventful task by simply getting into our vehicle and proceeding to drive it to our destination. However, winter always tends to throw us a snow-covered curveball.
The snow itself is the most obvious detriment to my winter driving experience. My slippery journey often begins before I even start my vehicle. I trek outside with a push broom firmly clutched in one hand while the other drags a snow shovel behind me. As I push the snow off of the roof of my car, a wind gust will inevitably rear it's ugly head and redistribute the snow all over mine. I instinctively throw the push broom across the driveway. After several repetitions of this, I eventually get the car cleared. With my half-frozen face and icicle-infused hair, I take on the appearance of the Snow Miser from "A Year Without a Santa Claus".
Once I finally get out on the road, a new set of problems arises. As I make my way into traffic, I am greeted with a fresh blast of road-spray. It's like nature's way of saying, "Welcome to the party!" My visibility is quickly reduced to a Stevie Wonder level. I impulsively begin to pump washer fluid onto my filthy windshield and, thankfully, I begin to see daylight again. Of course, this will only last until the next episode of road-spray comes my way. And at some point during my travel, I will run out of washer fluid. At this point, my wiper-blades' clearing ability is severely compromised and they only function to smear mud across windshield. And to make it even worse, this always seems to happen when the sun is at that perfect angle. It's bad enough that I can't see through the opaque window, but now I've got the sun glaring off it like an acetylene torch. Eventually, navigation becomes impossible and I wind up pulling over to remedy the situation. Since removing the windshield isn't a valid option, I stand on the side of the road and throw snow at it. Passing motorists gawk at me as I look like a delusional idiot having a snowball battle with my car. But nonetheless, the snow begins to melt and it slowly cleanses the muck off of the window.
As I get back into traffic, I will ultimately get behind some inconsiderate numbskull who didn't take the time or responsibility to adequately clear the snow from his car. Case in point......Coasting along at 55 mph, I finally find myself in a tranquil mood as David Gilmore plays one of those soothing Pink Floyd solos through my car stereo. And then, just as "Dark Side of the Moon" hits it's apex, my heart nearly stops as a large sheet of snow comes crashing down across my hood and windshield. It immediately makes me wonder how those folks on the Titanic felt when they hit that similarly-sized iceberg. My first reaction is to find out who caused it and chase him down. Once I caught the person, I'm not sure will would come next. But a throat-punch is certainly in order. Yeah, I know this is not a reasonable option (mainly because there's a large sheet of snow blocking my view). So, I shrug it off and, feeling like a beaten man, cautiously continue on.
When I finally make it to where I'm going, my car shows the signs of an embattled warrior. A quick survey shows a couple new dings on the hood and at least one of those little stars on the windshield. And of course, with all of the road salt clinging to it, my car looks like it just crashed into a Pablo Escobar factory.
While I may have learned to expect these types of things, it surely doesn't mean that like them. How many days is it until Spring again?
kw