I was first introduced to Evelyn as a teenager. My best
friend at the time happened to be her nephew. And we would sometimes drop by
her house for a spontaneous visit. Evelyn was always very welcoming, and I
always enjoyed our visits. Tina revealed to me recently that her mom had once
said to her, "I really like Ken. I would love to see you guys get
together." Well, it didn't happen immediately. But we did
eventually get together.
When Tina and I got married, Evelyn welcomed me into the
family and treated me like her own son. She was a wonderful person, and we
would go on to have many years of good times and fond memories. I'd like to
share some of those memories with you today...
It's no secret that Evelyn liked to shop. When she worked at
BJ's Wholesale Club years ago, she would always make a predictable run through
the store after each shift. I'm convinced that she spent more money than she
made there each week. The trunk of her Toyota Camry was always loaded up with an
over-abundance of merchandise. She would justify it by telling how little she
paid for everything. And immediately after giving you the lowdown on the price,
she would always follow up with, “And that’s cheap!”
I remember a time when Tina and I took Evelyn to Ocean City
for a few days. Tina had warned me that, one of those days, we
would have to take her mom shopping at the outlets in nearby Rehoboth Beach. I
tried my best to get out of it. But Tina wasn't having any parts of it. She
said, "Hey, if I'm getting roped into it, so are you!"
So. off we went to the outlets. As we made our way into
Delaware, I started to think, "Ah, this might not be so bad. I mean, how
long can someone really spend shopping?" Boy, was I about to
find out!
Evelyn spent the next few hours looking through every shelf
in every store. It was almost like she was taking inventory.
After she accumulated a few bags, she would hand them to me, and I would run
them out to the car. And then she would go into a new store to start the
process all over. I whispered to Tina, "What the hell is she buying?
Tina rolled her eyes and said, "Everything!"
I felt instant relief when Evelyn finally came out of the
last store. She smiled at me and asked, "Are you having a good
time?"
I did what any good son-in-law would do in this situation: I
lied. I said, "Oh, yeah. This really wasn't so bad".
But to my horror, she followed up with,
"Good. How about we stop and get some lunch before we hit the next
outlet?"
My jaw dropped. "There's a next outlet?",
I reluctantly asked.
"Yes, right over there", she replied as she
pointed to shopping center on the other side of the highway.
So, we ate lunch and then proceeded into round two of the
shopping excursion. Conveniently, my Honda Accord had a limited amount of
storage space. We finally reached a point where the trunk was completely full,
so we started to pack bags into the back seat. I eventually had to break the
news to Evelyn that we were pretty much at full capacity. I reminded her that
we still had to save room for our luggage on our trip home. She replied,
"Oh, we can ship our luggage back home. It's no big deal."
Fortunately, I wasn't required to go on too many
of these shopping sprees. That duty went to Evelyn's beloved
sister, Freddie. The two of them would meet up for lunch at least once a week
and then wreak havoc on the local shopping centers.
Ok, moving on...
Years ago, I used to really like A&W Diet Cream Soda.
Well, when Evelyn found out about it, she bought a few 12-packs and stocked her
entire refrigerator with it. She was very thoughtful in that way. Well, one day
I'm sitting at the kitchen counter when Karl (my father-in-law) goes to the
refrigerator to get a drink. He was hoping for a traditional Pepsi. But all he
sees are these Diet Cream Sodas. He holds up a can and asks, ""Hey
Evelyn, what the hell is this?"
She instantly snapped, "Oh, put that back, Karl. Those
are for Ken."
Karl shoots me a dirty look and mumbled to himself. I just
giggled and said, "Relax, Karl. If you want one, help yourself. Really, I
don't mind."
Of course, this only made him more upset and he said,
"Can you at least tell her that you like regular Pepsi or Coors Light?
Then maybe I'll be able to find something that I like in here
next time."
I wound up drinking so much of that Diet Cream Soda that I
eventually got sick of it. I didn’t want to seem ungrateful, but I had to tell
Evelyn to stop buying it.
And then, short time later, I went on one of these high
protein diets. One day, Evelyn sees me eating a can of sardines. Well, you can
guess what happened next…
Evelyn was also a very good cook. I can remember gathering
over her house for Sunday dinner. She would make enough food to serve an army.
But it was always delicious. She made these spareribs that were out of this
world. She would also make these spicy Italian sausages every Christmas. With
beads of sweat rolling across my forehead, I would devour these things like a
hungry lion. I knew I would pay for it later, but I really didn't care. They
were that good.
Evelyn and I could talk about practically anything,
including politics and religion. I can remember having many spirited debates
with her through the years. The funny thing was that we would sometimes be 180
degrees apart on a particular subject. We would spend a half hour going back
and forth. And then at some point, for some unknown reason, she would
take my side of the argument. I would say, "Evelyn, that's what I'm saying."
She would respond, "Exactly." It would drive me
nuts.
A few years ago, a bunch of us were planning on going to the
local Greene Turtle to celebrate my birthday. Knowing that we would be
consuming some adult refreshments, Evelyn offered to drive. And that ride was quite
adventurous….
On the drive out of the neighborhood, she hit every speed
bump with reckless abandon. The first one was especially painful because I
didn’t see it coming. My head bounced off the ceiling and I landed back in the
seat with a loud thud. I regained consciousness just in time to prepare for the
next one. I guess she thought that you were supposed to speed over speed bumps,
I don’t know. By the time we got to the restaurant, I felt like I just went ten
rounds with Mike Tyson.
Well, the night went on and we did indeed celebrate. The
alcohol did an adequate job of numbing our battle wounds from the ride in. And
we slowly transitioned into a state of drunken obnoxious. And then,
unexpectedly, a Karaoke DJ started setting up his equipment. At some point, I
found myself with the microphone in my hand, trying to sing "Thank God I'm
a Country Boy". It must have been brutal to anyone within earshot. Feeling
somewhat embarrassed afterward, I said, "Evelyn, you don't have to wait
around for us. We can take an Uber home. I feel bad putting you through this
torture."
She laughed and said, "No, I don't mind staying at all.
I haven't had this much fun in years."
I tried to talk her into doing a karaoke version of
"All the Single Ladies”, but she wouldn't bite.
Evelyn had been a tough and resilient person throughout her
whole life. When things needed to be handled, she took action. When the
family's house burned down years ago, Evelyn didn't sit back and feel sorry for
herself. She took a job working in the meat department of a local grocery store
and continued to work until she retired from BJ's years later. Working in those
refrigerated rooms wasn't easy, especially as she got older. But she did it
anyway and never complained.
When Evelyn finally retired, things didn't really get any
easier for her. Karl's health had real taken a downturn and Evelyn became his full-time
caregiver. She did all of this while fighting her own bout with cancer. I
always admired her dedication and loyalty during those trying times. She was a
strong woman who I respected and loved.
Evelyn will finally get some well-deserved rest. And Karl
will be reunited with his "Ebby".
Evelyn, if you can hear me up there, please buy Karl a can
of regular Pepsi and tell him that it's from me. I miss you both and I will
never forget you.
kw