Back in the Day - The Car

When kids approach that transitional age of sixteen, their main objective is to secure a driver's license. This is their introduction to independence. No more waiting for Mom or Dad to drive them to the mall or movie theater . They can simply jump in the car and drive themselves there. This, of course, is only possible if they actually have a car to drive.

Most of the kids of my generation relied on their parent's car during their initial driving days. So, you didn't see too many young drivers sitting behind the wheel of a Corvette or Shelby Mustang. Your first ride was usually an older sedan like a Ford LTD or a Pontiac Bonneville. It really didn't matter what you were driving just as long as you were driving.

My first ride came in the form of my mother's 1977 Ford LTD II. It actually had good amount of style for "your parent's" car. And as a bonus, it came with air conditioning. I know it might sound surprising to today's kids, but back in the day air conditioning was not a guarantee. This was mainly due to the extra cost of AC. The average wage was much less than today's standard and many people passed on the AC option because it was a luxury that they just couldn't afford. 

My Dad's 1972 Chevy pick-up truck didn't come with AC. So, on those hot summer days, you rolled the windows down and surrendered yourself to the blast of 95-degree humidity that immediately followed. There was also a small wing window that you could open to precisely direct the air to you. And if you really wanted to feel the full effect, you could open up a vent via the dashboard heating/cooling controls. Air was pulled in through vents just below the outside windshield and delivered to the cabin of the vehicle. It was the direct opposite of traditional air conditioning. Imagine sitting atop your home's outdoor AC unit. It was very similar to that. But it at least there was air flow...

Today's new cars usually come with great sound systems that need no upgrades or alterations. But the cars of my youth usually came with a basic AM/FM stereo. The stock speakers were cheap and could easily blown out if you cranked Led Zeppelin past "5" on the volume knob. So, the first thing you did after getting your car was head down to Luskin's (the self-proclaimed "cheapest guy in town") to shop for a new Kenwood cassette deck and set of JBL speakers.

Cars didn't usually come with power windows. So, in order to roll the window up or down, you had to crank a handle that was located near the inside door handle. Rolling down the passenger side window required you to lean across the interior of the car and awkwardly turn the window crank. The first time I got a car with power windows, I felt like I had moved up a notch in the social class. Then one day, the motor burned up on my driver's side window and the party was over. I remember having to open up my door to hand money to toll booth operators or McDonald's drive-thru cashiers. And I always felt the need to explain that the power window was broken as if they couldn't figure it out.

And there were no GPS's back in the day. If you were lost, you might have to rely on a paper map. When I started my first field service job, I worked in the Washington DC area. I usually had a large paper map strewn across the front passenger seat. At every red light, I would pick it up and try to determine where my next turn would be. Of course, there was also an option to stop and ask someone for directions. But I was forever haunted by that scene in National Lampoon's  "Vacation" where Chevy Chase stops off in Chicago to ask directions to Wally World. No thanks, I'll stick with my map.

The seats of most cars back in my day were made of either cloth or some type of "fake leather" vinyl. On a mid-summer day, the vinyl would get hot enough to fry an egg. Many times, while wearing shorts, I would plop my husky ass into the driver seat only to immediately jump out when the seat delivered a 3rd degree burn to the back of my leg.

Some other luxuries that weren't always available back in the day were automatic transmissions, power steering and power brakes. These are things that we really take for granted today. The dashboard of some of today's cars resemble a the cockpit of jet compared to the cars of yesterday. Most of these items are standard options on today's vehicles. Of course, with all of these nice features, the price of today's new cars have increased dramatically over the years. Most of today's cars cost more that the average home from my childhood. 

Who knows, maybe 50 years from now, kids will be telling stories about how they drove cars with combustible engines and rubber tires. Perhaps they'll remember a time when you actually drove a car instead of flying one. You never know....

kw

Back in the Day - The Television

The television is a wonderful marvel of technology. It's the window to the world for most people. Whether you're a news junkie, a sports fan or a drama queen, there is plenty of entertainment that awaits you with a simple push of a button.

But back when I was a kid, things weren't quite as robust. For instance, the wireless remote control was not an option. If you were lucky enough to have a remote, it was usually in the form of a small corded device that allowed you to turn a rotary dial to switch between channels. The cord was only about six feet long so it was basically worthless. So, if I was sitting across the room and wanted to change channel, I had to march my husky ass over to the TV set and physically turn the channel selector. I guess you could view it as a form of exercise for a coach potato.

And tuning to a new channel could sometimes be a challenge. I grew up in Baltimore City where cable TV didn't become available until the mid-80's. So, you often had to turn the main knob to the desired channel and then use fine tuning knob to filter the "snow" out of the picture. There was a true art to it. The three main network affiliates out of Baltimore (WJZ, WBAL and WMAR), as well as WBFF, came in very clear. But it took a little effort to get the two Washington DC channels in tune (channels 5 & 20). Eventually, my Dad bought one of those large rotating antennas for the roof and my fine tuning skills were no longer needed. I simply turned a dial on an electronic box which spun the antennae on the roof until the picture was nice and clear.

We didn't have on-screen channel guides either. So, if you wanted to know the programming schedule, you had to flip through a paper TV guide. You could get a basic one in the Sunday morning newspaper. Or you could opt for the gold standard and buy the official "TV Guide" at your local convenience store. 

Another issue with the TV's back in my day was that the screen was quite small by today's standards. The standard "big screen TV" had a 25-inch screen. This was usually the main TV that could almost always be found in the family room. When I was about 11 or 12 years old, my Dad scored a cheap black and white TV with a 13-inch screen. I talked him into letting me have it for my bedroom. Although some of today's Smartphone's have a bigger screen, I couldn't have been any happier. To be able to watch the latest episode of "Starksy & Hutch" on my own TV was very satisfying.

Years later, I began to make friends with kids who lived in the suburbs. This was my first experience with cable TV. This was around the time when MTV (Music Television) first hit the scene. As a huge music fan, I was so jealous of my Anne Arundel County friends who had 24-hour music videos at their disposal (I often joke about it now by saying. "I'm so old that I can remember when MTV actually played music videos"). 

Along the same line, I was a huge baseball fan and I was especially fond of the Baltimore Orioles. I used to watch every game that I could. The problem for city folks like me was that the local TV stations would only broadcast the away games. So, when the O's were playing at Memorial Stadium in Baltimore, I would either have to attend the game personally or catch it on my transistor radio. Although I have great memories of listening to Chuck Thompson and Jon Miller deliver the game to me through that small radio, it wasn't quite the same as seeing the action with your own eyes. Cable TV provided a solution to this through a new channel called "Home Team Sports"...

My good friend and former bandmate, Jimmy, used to invite me to his house in Brooklyn Park, which happened to be just over the city/county line. As a fellow O's fan, Jim's Dad would already have the television tuned to "Home Team Sports" by the time I got there. I always had a great time watching the game with Jim and his Dad (By the way, Jim's mom would sometimes join us when we would switch over to MTV. I remember that she was especially fond of Journey's lead singer, Steve Perry. When she heard the beginning of "Separate Ways", she would instantly appear in the living room proclaiming, "There he is! There's my guy!").

Eventually, Baltimore City got their own version of cable TV. In the early 80's, we were introduced to "Super TV". It really wasn't that super, but it was better than nothing. If I remember correctly, the cost was around $25 a month. In return, you got one "premium" commercial-free channel that started at 7 o'clock sharp each night and ran until sometime around midnight. It usually amounted to two or three movies a night. Compare that to Netflix today....

Super TV also offered "adult programming" that came on late at night after the regular movies ran their course. Of course, there was an extra fee for this option. I tried to convince my Dad that these spicy movies might help me through my biology class but he wasn't buying it. The Super TV people were pretty slick though. They gave you just enough to peak your curiosity. Although the late-night movies were not clear and the colors were all distorted, you could still make out the shapes and body motions. So, there was little doubt as to what was going on. It was like watching an X-rated episode of  "The Smurfs". Of course, this is only what I've been told....😜

The television platform has evolved in so many ways since my childhood. I used to have four our five stations to choose from. Today, I have so many options that my thumb has developed arthritis from all of the channel switching. We also have DVR's, video-on-demand and ultra high-definition screens. Such a long journey from that 13-inch black and white television.....

kw

Back in the Day - The Telephone

I knew that it was inevitable....I have finally reached that stage of my life where I'm transitioning into my father. It's not necessarily a bad thing. But I can remember my Dad replying to my whining with "Back when I was a kid..." 

So, falling right in line with that linear succession, I've decided to start a series of "Back in the Day" stories about random things of my childhood. Today, I'll describe what it was like to make a phone call during my youth. So, find yourself a seat and please silence your cell phones...

First off, there were no cell phones back in the 70's. At least none that the average working man could afford. We had to rely on the lone landline phone that usually rested next to a La-Z-Boy recliner somewhere in a cluttered living room. Privacy and silence were usually not an option as my parents would be seated nearby watching the latest episode of "Gunsmoke". To get any privacy at all, I would have to stretch the handset cord until it was tight enough for a circus performer to walk across. It was actually quite dangerous as an unsuspecting individual could be clotheslined by the makeshift high-wire. I often wondered how many people needlessly decapitated as a result of this...

I'm not sure if OSHA had any hand in it, but eventually we were introduced to cordless phones. You could walk around the whole house without the nuisance of the phone cord. As you walked further away from the "base", you would pick up increasing static on the line. It was the early predecessor to enter a bad cell area.

Another issue with my early childhood phone was that it had a rotary dial. This required you to put the tip of your index finger into one of the numbered holes of the dial and turning it to the right. If you had a high-digit number like 987-9679, your finger would actually get sore by the time you connected with the person on the other end (Decades later, the sore index finger would give way to the arthritic "smart-phone thumb"). Everyone rejoiced when the push-button phones entered the market place.

As the technology became more affordable it was common for families to have multiple phones in their homes. All the phones were usually on the same landline. So, if you picked up another phone during an active phone call, you could have multiple people on at the same time. It was the early version of a conference call. One the downsides was that someone could easily eavesdrop on your conversation without you knowing it.

Caller ID wasn't around back in the 70's. So, when the phone rang, you had no idea who was calling. It could be the "Publisher's Clearing House" calling to tell you you had won a million bucks. Or it could be the school principal calling to tell your parents about your latest disciplinary issue. Interesting enough, the telemarketing craze wasn't as prevalent back then. But prank calling was quite common. We used to get into mischief by calling random people and laying out lines such as this:

"Hello sir, this is Joe from the ABC Refrigeration. We're conducting a free courtesy check-up on your appliances. Is your refrigerator running right now?

Of course, when they answered "Yes", we would respond with "Well, you'd better catch it before it gets out of the house!"

It was stupid but as young adolescents, we thought it was hilarious. My good friend, Mark, was a natural in this field. He could really lay it on! I would be on the floor laughing so hard that it actually hurt! He was so convincing, he could sell screen doors to a submarine company. (Although, he wasn't directly involved and it wasn't technically a prank call, Mark introduced us to the epic "Francis J. Haynes vs. The Phone Company" interchange. It ranks up there as one of the most iconic telephonic battles of all time. It's every bit as entertaining as the "911 Deer" call.)

The only affordable "mobile phones' back then came in the form of a phone booth. For a quarter, you could make a make a phone call to anyone within the same area code (back in the day, "301" was the default area code for the Baltimore area. It eventually transitioned to "410"). The benefit of the phone booth was that it would diminish the street noise so you could actually hear the person on the other end of the line. The downside of the booth was that it could be gross. They often wreaked of urine and there was no telling what kind of bio-particles you'd see clinging to the plexiglass walls. You would have been advised to carry a can of Lysol if you were a regular user of these phones.

Another common problem with the public phones is that the handset was often missing. People would randomly rip the handset off, leaving a few stray wires in it's place. You would sometimes witness someone taking out their frustration by beating the handset against the metal phone housing. It was kind of funny and frightening at the same time. 

We used to rely on a big, bulky phone book back in the day too. I'm not kidding, this book was probably about four or five inches thick and it contained almost every name and phone number in the whole Baltimore area. It's not like today where you can Google a name and get an instant response. With the physical phone book, you had to thumb through countless pages to find a number. It could actually be educational for youngsters because the names were in alphabetical order. Although the phone books have been pretty-much obsolete for at least a couple decades, the book was still being delivered to my house until a couple of years ago. I would literally retrieve it from my front door step and walk it over and deposit it into the recycling bin. 

Today, the landline has become almost obsolete. Smartphones have transitioned into an extra appendage that, amongst many other things, also make phone calls. Young people today will never know the challenges that we faced back in the day. As a nostalgic reminder, I still have a fully-functioning rotary-dial phone hanging on my garage wall. 

With all of this being said, there were some good points of those old school phones. First off, you couldn't carry them around with you, so you never had to worry about losing them. And, aside from maybe a few phone numbers, they didn't store any personal information. And most importantly, people were not addicted to them.

kw