Rockin' The Oscars?

So, the Oscars went on last night with a bit of a hitch. The show was hosted by Chris Rock, who spent most of his time to throwing bucketfuls of white guilt over the audience. Rock, of course, was addressing the "lack of diversity" among the nominees in the major categories. (I wonder if he'll address the lack of diversity at the BET Awards?)

At times, the comedian hit below the belt with his "jokes". Rock pointed out that the Academy Awards has been ignoring black folks for a long time. He "explained" that the reason blacks didn't protest back in the day is because they were too busy "being raped and lynched". He went on to say that "when your grandmother is hanging from a tree. it's hard to care about the best documentary film short". Amazingly, this generated a round of clueless laughter from the audience.

Protesting the "lack of diversity" at the Oscars is one thing. But do we really need to re-open wounds from decades ago? Furthermore, if we are going to go there, when did it become appropriate to yuck it up over the lynching of someone's grandmother? Liberals are usually ultra thin-skinned about all things race-related. But somehow they think this is funny? I'm lost....

Additionally, I can't help to find it ironic that Hollywood, of all places, is being accused of racism. For years, this bastion of liberal elitists has preached to us about social ills. Has the pot been calling the kettle black all this time? Well, it sure sounds that way.

Speaking of irony (or maybe it's hypocrisy), Chris Rock has made a living out of using the n-word in his performances. And now he's going to lecture us on racism? Hey, can someone please protest this guy? I know, I know, it's different when Chris Rock uses the n-word. Umm, ok......

Chris also got into a little hot water with the Asian community. Introducing three "representatives" from Price Waterhouse (the group that tabulates the Oscar votes), Rock used three Asian kids as props. They entered the stage dressed in tuxedos and carrying briefcases. The "joke" was that Asian kids were good at math. For good measure, he also threw in a joke referencing child labor in Asia. So, now it's ok to joke about ethnic stereotypes?

Is there any wonder why this was the 3rd lowest viewed Oscar shows ever? Perhaps that's an indication that people don't feel like listening to political grandstanding for three hours.

So, does racism really play a part in determining who gets nominated for an Academy Award? Is it possible that maybe the actual nominees are just better actors?  Who knows? But I'm pretty sure I've wasting enough time talking about it.....

kw

An Authentic Tour of Baltimore

So, I understand that there is now an official "Freddie Gray Tour of Baltimore". That's right, for a small fee (I suppose), you can now be formally guided through the 'hood that Freddie Gray called home. You're probably thinking, "Would people really sign up for that?"

Well, the answer seems to be yes. The inaugural tour was comprised of a group of college kids from Atlanta. Can you imagine a group of unsuspecting college kids walking through West Baltimore for the first time? I have no idea of what adventures awaited them. But this is the way I imagine it:

Walking along Pennsylvania Avenue, the enthusiastic tour guide uses a bullhorn to overcome the wailing police sirens. Resembling a carnival barker, he explains the significance of each vantage point along the way. As the tourists make their way down the busy street, they're treated to at least one random burst of gunfire. The tour guide instructs everyone to duck for cover. He then advises them to check themselves for exit wounds before marching on to the next stop.

The next focal point is the the newly renovated CVS store. Glowing with Charm City pride, the tour guide points out that this drugstore was broadcast across every major news outlet during the April "unrest". As if he was describing the battle of Fort Sumter, he tells about the heavy fire the store absorbed during the riots. In detail, he describes how bargain hunters emptied the store out, down to the last bag of Funyans.

The next stop is the Western District Police Station where the group pauses for a brief moment of anti-police obscenities. They are then invited to partake in a round of rock throwing. As they prepare to move on, they join hands and break into a lovely acappella version of "F*ck The Police". As moving as it was, their special moment is abruptly interrupted by an approaching group of dirt-bikers. Looking like a scene from the running of the bulls, the tourists jump onto parked cars as they dodge the hoards of wheelie-riding stuntmen. The tour guide explains that this is the kind of thing that makes his tour "uniquely authentic". 

Once everyone's pulse rate settles down, they move through one of Baltimore's infamous open-air drug markets. There, they browse through an assortment of hand-crafted crack pipes and a variety of colorful gel-caps. The long walk and spontaneous surprises generate a hearty appetite for the young adventurers. So, as the tour concludes, the group is invited to indulge in some fine dining at one of the nearby lake trout establishments.

Of course, I'm just speculating. But, according to a recent news story*, the actual purpose of the tour is to "enlighten" people about the environment in which Freddie Gray lived. Additionally, it's supposed to help to prevent another Freddie Gray incident from occurring.

Hey, here's some enlightening advice.....Don't sling drugs and run from the police.

kw


* http://www.wbaltv.com/news/tour-visits-freddie-grays-neighborhood/38165740?utm_campaign=WBALTV&utm_content=56ce8ddd04d3011a33f686a6&utm_medium=facebook&utm_source=trueAnthem:+New+Content

Just Trying to Get The Kids Home

So, today I'm walking across a parking when I see a guy approaching me. We exchanged a brief glance as we passed each other. And then, after he was about ten feet past me, I get the dreaded, "Excuse me, sir."

Ugghh......

I've been down this road many times before. I prepare to hear his bullshit story about how he's got a flat tire, ran out of gas or got dumped in the area after a bachelor party with no money to get home. So, I sigh, and respond, "Yeah, what can I do for you?"

He tells me about how he's from the Eastern Shore and he's out of gas. He asks me if I could spare a few dollars to help get him on his way. Of course, I'm not buying any of it. I told him that I've heard the "out of gas" story many times before. Feeling generous, I offer the guy some sound advise by telling him to come up with a more original story the nest time wants to scam someone. The guy then says, "Look man, I've got two young kids in the car. I'm just trying to get them home."

Knowing that I should just walk away, I also feel compelled to engage further. So, I say, "I like this. You're a fast learner. It makes me feel like I've helped someone today. The kids in the car is a really nice touch. By the way, where's your car? I'd like to meet your kids."

The guy immediately gives me the deer-in-the-headlights look. Or maybe it was the WTF look, I dunno. But he eventually comes out of the trance and says, "Look, a few minutes ago, I asked another guy to help me get home and he told me to go ask Obama for some help."

I couldn't help but laugh. Again, I was met with a confused look from the guy.

"Why is that so funny?", he asked

"I don't know," I said as I shook my head. "But it doesn't seem like you're having a whole lot of luck with this crowd. So maybe you should ask Obama...."

At this point, I knew I'd better start moving away. As I walked away, I said," It's been nice talking to you but I'm late for a meeting. Best of luck to you and the kids."

I've really got to stop engaging with people.....

kw

Elderly Siblings Gunned Down in Baltimore

The shootings just never seem to stop in The City That Bleeds. This afternoon, a brother and sister were gunned down while standing at a west Baltimore bus stop. Daily shootings have almost become synonymous with Baltimore. But the most compelling thing about this particular shooting is that these two siblings were 82 and 90 years old.

As Baltimore rolled through January with murders "on the decline", I remember hearing the city reps talking about how things were moving in the right direction. What kind stuff are these guys smoking? After a record-setting year for murders in 2015, they're now going to give each other high-fives because "only" fourteen people were murdered in the first month of 2016? Anyone who thinks that Baltimore's getting safer is showing clear signs of brain damage from having their head buried up their ass. Come out for air before it's too late!

Anyone with any information regarding today's shooting is being asked to call Baltimore Homicide detectives. But, as senseless and outrageous as this is,  I really wouldn't expect the phones to be ringing off the hook anytime soon. In fighting violent crime in the city, Baltimore cops have been given a monumental task with little or no support from the community. Additionally, the war on police, which has been fueled by reckless assholes like Beyonce, has done nothing but exacerbate the issue. As a result of this, when the police attempt to find the shooters on any given day, the community usually refuses to cooperate. Many of them protect the thugs because they view the police as the "enemy". Others remain silent because they're afraid of retaliation from the thugs. And as a result, people are allowed to get away with gunning down senior citizens on bus stops.

According to reports, it is believed that today's elderly victims were not the intended targets. Wow, that really comforting, isn't it? You're standing there, minding your own business, when you're caught in a hail of gunfire from a sideways Glock. Unfortunately, you got hit with a stray bullet and are now bleeding profusely. But no need to upset, you weren't even the target. 

All of this would seem to be a good reason for a protest. But for some odd reason, we haven't heard a peep from the usual suspects. A career drug-slinger gets shot, the city burns. An elderly couple gets shot, crickets. Hmm.....

The only positive thing about today's session of cap-popping is that is that both of the victims are expected to survive. I certainly wish them the best.

kw

The Pope vs. The Donald

Donald Trump has definitely ruffled a few feathers during this Presidential campaign. And just when you think it can't get any more controversial, it looks like there's now a pissing contest between Donald and none other than the Pope. Yep, that's right, the Pontiff himself has now decided to go a couple rounds with this year's political lightning rod.

So, what started all of this?

Well, as most political junkies probably know, Trump has aspirations of building a wall on the border between the US and Mexico. He sees this as necessary step to curb the illegal immigration epidemic. Whether this would actually do any good is anyone's guess. But nonetheless, there are a lot of people who support Trump's idea. However, the Pope doesn't happen to be one of them...

You see, Pope Francis doesn't like the idea of putting up a wall between the countries. He says that we should be building bridges instead of walls. He also commented that that anyone who would want to build a border wall is not Christian. (By the way, isn't the Vatican surrounded by walls?)

Trump responded to the comments by saying that it's disgraceful for a religious leader to question someone's faith.

This isn't the first time that Pope Francis has called one's faith into question. Last year, while wading into the gun control issues, the Pope said that people who manufacture or invest in guns cannot consider themselves Christian. Of course, this is coming from a guy who is protected by armed bodyguards. But let's move on....

In response to the Trump/Pope Francis "feud", a Vatican spokesperson said that Trump's criticism of the Pope's pro-immigration stance is "very strange". The spokesperson also pointed out that Trump could use "a dose of global perspective".

It will be interesting to see if Trump and the Pope continue to trade jabs. Up to this point. Jeb Bush has been Trump's punching bag. Could Pope Francis his next sparring partner? Maybe the networks can invite the Pontiff to the next debate. Imagine Trump waving him off and saying, "Oh, nonsense, Frank. You're a bigger liar than Ted Cruz and Jab Bush put together!"

Yes, that would certainly make for some very entertaining television....

kw

South Carolina's GOP Debate

Last night's Republican debate was a slightly modified version of what we've seen in the past. The ninth GOP debate, which took place in South Carolina, pitted the usual suspects against one another for several rounds of political jabbing.

The familiar bickering between Jeb Bush and Donald Trump seemed to escalate to the next level. Trump took several shots at Bush for his shortcomings as Governor of Florida. This is something that you ight expect from a rival candidate. However, Trump also criticized other Bush family members. He pointed out that the Twin Towers came down under George W. Bush's watch. And another time, he essentially insulted Jeb's manhood by saying that his mother, Barbara Bush, should be running for President. 

Trump also sparred with Ted Cruz. At one point, he accused Cruz of spreading false rumors in South Carolina and he followed up by calling Cruz a nasty guy. And when Cruz called out Trump for his positions on abortion, Trump abruptly responded in true Trump fashion by saying, "You're the single biggest liar. You're probably worse than Jeb Bush!"

Ouch!

Cruz fired back by saying that Trump, if elected President, would appoint liberals to the Supreme Court. This, of course, was initiated due to the recent death of Justice Antonin Scalia.

The subject of judicial appointments was thoroughly discussed in last night's debate. The death of Scalia will definitely create more political turmoil as we get closer to the end of Obama's second term. The loss of the most conservative member of the Supreme Court is a heavy blow to the Republicans. The Court is now divided evenly between liberals and conservatives (assuming that you consider John Roberts a conservative). So, with the expected appointment of another liberal by President Obama, the scales of justice could easily tip to the left. It will be interesting to see exactly how extreme Obama will go on this one. The Republicans will fight tooth and nail during during the election process to delay the appointment to after the election. Should Hillary or Bernie win in November, it will likely be a moot point. But hold onto your hats, this one's gonna get a little crazy.

Declaring a winner form last night is kind of tough. Although Trump made some good points, his abrasiveness continues to be a concern, especially in a southern state like South Carolina. At times, John Kasich and Ben Carson pointed out that the bickering, in-fighting and negative campaigning were only doing unnecessary damage to the GOP. While it might be true, it's the political world in which we now live.

With South Carolina's election in less than a week, the polls currently show Trump and Cruz taking the top spots while Rubio trials in third. With a lot of evangelical votes in play down South, I wouldn't be surprised to see either Cruz or Rubio take South Carolina. Ben Carson might get a fair share of the vote, but he lacks the fire power needed in today's dirty political arena. 

Say what you will about the GOP campaign but it's never boring.....

kw

Trials & Tribulations of Super Bowl 50

Well, Super Bowl 50 is officially in the books. Denver fans are ecstatic while Carolina fans are still feeling a bit stunned. Although the Panthers were only favored by a few points, many people predicted that they would blow out the Broncos. But, in the end, the Denver proved that great defenses do indeed win championships.

So, what was everyone talking about this morning?

First off, how about that performance of the National Anthem by Lady Gaga? I knew the woman had talent, but she blew it out of the park last night! With the exception of the Whitney Houston version, it was probably the best Super Bowl anthem that I've ever heard. I was so impressed that I hit the rewind button on my DVR and watched it again. I got even more goosebumps the second time around. Absolutely stellar!

Once the game started, the Denver defense quickly set the tone. Carolina's MVP quarterback, Cam Newton, was pressured the whole game as his usually high-powered offense was knocked out of rhythm. The key for a Denver victory was contingent on their ability to contain Newton. Their game plan couldn't have played out any better. Newton never looked comfortable as he was sacked, hurried and buried time and time again.

Regarding Cam Newton, I think he's a remarkable athlete. He had an awesome year and there was no one more deserving of the Most Valuable Player award. With this being said, I do not like all of his showboating. Watching him this season, I often found him to be abrasively cocky. As he rolled through the post-season, he head grew bigger by the minute. By the time he reached the San Francisco area last week, he had practically lost his mind, Did you see those pants he was wearing?

Anyway, I really think he was in dire need of some humble pie. And the Broncos definitely gave him an extra helping of it. Perhaps still shell-shocked over what had just happened, Newton headed to the post-game press interview. There, with his hoodie pulled over his head, he pouted and acted like spoiled 5-year-old. His answers were limited to just a few words as his body language confirmed that he was very irritated. Newton abruptly ended the interview by walking off the stage. He certainly didn't show a whole lot of class. But sometimes when emotions are running on full steam, we say and do things that are so flattering. Hopefully, he'll learn from the experience and act a little more mature the next time he's in a similar situation.

On the contrary, Peyton Manning has always carried himself with class. It was good to see the future Hall-of-Famer go out on a high note. Although he hasn't officially announced his retirement, it's highly likely that Super Bowl 50 was Manning's last hurrah. He's had a story-book career and has been a true ambassador to the sport.

By the way, what was up with Eli Manning? Late in the 4th quarter when it was obvious that Denver would win the game, the rest of the Manning family were shown celebrating in their skybox. However, Eli just stood there with a stoic look on his face. He looked more confused than Cam Newton. Maybe he was upset that his big brother now had as many Super Bowl rings as he did?

Of course, there's always talk about the Super Bowl commercials. I usually don't pay much attention to them. I usually use the commercial breaks as on opportunity to grab another round of chicken wings or to discharge some spent beer. But a lot of people have mentioned the Michael & Sons commercial. It definitely caught me off guard as well. First off, Michael and Sons is a local Maryland/Virginia plumbing company. So, to see them shelling out the mega-bucks for a national Super Bowl commercial was unexpected. And Mike Tyson as a spokesman for your company? Really? It will be interesting to see how it plays out for them.

I can't end this piece without talking about the halftime show. When I first heard that Coldplay would be heading this year's Super Bowl, I couldn't help but scratch my head. I have nothing personal against them, but I find them about as exciting as watching paint dry. And the NFL thought that Coldplay was the best choice to fire up the crowd at halftime? Were they the only band available on this particular Sunday?

Beyonce and Bruno Mars eventually showed up to take some of the spotlight off of the headliners. Bruno Mars is always entertaining and full of energy. So, he was certainly appreciated on this given Sunday. However, Beyonce entered the  under a blanket of controversy...

Beyonce certainly has the ability to ignite a crowd, in more ways than one. Most recently, she has ruffled a few feathers with her latest video for her song "Formation". The song is basically an anti-cop rant. During the performance of the song last night, Beyonce and her posse of dancers were suggestively dressed to represent the Black Panthers. Do we really need this kind of racially-charged  bullshit at the Super Bowl? Many people, understandably, found it inappropriate and even racist. Although Beyonce has a right to her beliefs, she should not have been allowed to use the Super Bowl as her political soapbox. Ironically, I understand that Beyonce needed a police escort to get to/from the stadium. Hmm....

Ok, enough of that......

The worst thing about the Super Bowl from a fan's perspective is that we know that it's the last game of the season. We will now have to wait a long seven months before next opening day kick-off. But nonetheless. it's been a another fun season (yes, even for this Raven fan).

kw

The Evil Karaoke Guy

So, last night I'm enjoying some pizza and beer with friends at a local Italian restaurant. Things were reasonably quiet as we sat there and discussed ways to save the world. But then, just when we thought we were safe, a DJ appeared and announced, "All right folks, it's karaoke time. If you want to sing, please fill out a slip and drop it in the box. We'll get started in a few minutes."

As I looked around the room, I felt pretty confident that there weren't any American Idol finalists in our presence. But I had no doubt that there would be no shortage of people who would attempt to prove me wrong.

Before long, it was on and the DJ called out the first singer. A guy with spiked hair appears from the back of the room and retrieves the microphone. The DJ queues up the karaoke track which quickly ignites a heavy metal guitar riff. Holding the microphone in a death grip with one hand, the singer bends over at the waist and starts throwing punches at the floor with the other. I guess it was kind of like watching Elvis do his karate routine? Anyway, the guy eventually launches into the vocals. But instead of singing in English, he starts discharging the lyrics with a deep, guttural German dialect. I have to admit, he definitely had everyone's attention at this point. There was a baby nearby who looked like she had just seen the evil clown from "It". Although it was kind of sad, it was also funny as hell.

The guy continued to pour his heart into his performance. As the intensity of the song increased, I expected him to start breaking stuff. But since he was singing in German, we had no idea what the guy was saying. For all we knew, he might have been saying, "I am Satan and you all must die tonight!" 

The song definitely had a violent vibe. I kept my eyes on the guy just in case he decided to make any sudden moves. Armed with nothing but a cold slice of pizza and an empty bottle of Miller Lite, I was in a bad spot if this guy decided to go Postal. My anxiety grew as my mind transitioned to "fight or flight" mode. After some heavy deliberation, I decided that if he started to come toward me, I would push my buddy Kevin in front of him while I ran for the front door. 

Thankfully, the song ended with no one getting hurt. At the very least, I expected to see a small animal get sacrificed. But the guy simply handed the microphone back the DJ and disappeared into the back of the room. The contrast of his aggressive performance and quiet exit added another element of drama to the mix. This guy was like Alfred Hitchcock!

My brain was still trying to comprehend what I had just witnessed. But, honestly, I have to give the guy an E for effort. Anyone who would put that much energy into a karaoke performance at a pizzeria definitely has a special gift. Although I wouldn't recommend this guy for kid's birthday parties, he was definitely entertaining. He certainly threw down the gauntlet for the rest the evening's performers....

kw

Super Bowl 50 - Ditching The Ugly L

With all of the hype surrounding the Super Bowl, you might have noticed something noticeably different this year. Instead of the traditional Roman numeral to mark the particular year's game, the NFL has chosen to use a plain 'ol "regular" number. In this year's case, it happens to be the number 50.

I never quite got the Roman numeral thing. I guess it looks a little more sophisticated? Or perhaps the numerals are a throwback to ancient Rome in the sense that modern day football players are sometimes viewed as modern day "gladiators"? Whatever the case, I'm glad the NFL is ditching the X's and V's.

Determining which Super Bowl was played in any given year has always been pretty easy for me. The Super Bowl number has always been the same number as my age. If someone talks about Super Bowl 38, I instantly know that I was 38 years old when that game took place. Of course, if someone refers to Super Bowl 38 on paper, it becomes Super Bowl XXXVIII. This usually forces me to convert the antiquated numeral and then mentally reboot the modern number to match my age. That's a lot of wasted brain power, in my opinion.

So, what's the real reason that we're ditching the Roman numeral for this year's big game? It's actually quite simple....the NFL felt that "L" (the Roman numeral for 50) just wasn't very attractive. The creative director of the NFL (who knew?) described the "L" as being a symbol for "loser". He also mentioned that the letter L isn't very symmetrical and that it uses too much negative space. I wonder how much the NFL pays a "creative director" to come up with this stuff.

I don't quite get it. I mean, look at some the past "unattractive" Super Bowl numbers. Take the example that I used earlier, Super Bowl XXXVIII. Doesn't that sound just a little too busy? At how about Super Bowl XL? It sounds more like a shirt size. And look at Super Bowl XXX. Sounds a bit risque to me. I wonder if Jenna Jamison performed the halftime show?

The only other notable entities that use Roman numerals are the Pope and the Olympics. I can almost understand the rationale in these cases since they've both been around for thousand's (or M's) years. But the Super Bowl has only been around since 1966.

Some people criticize those of us who frown on the Roman numerals. They say that it's another example of the "dumbing down" of modern society. It don't see it all like that. Aside from being perhaps more aesthetically pleasing, what purpose do Roman numerals have in today's world? Would you write a check for the amount of XXXVIII dollars? Can you imagine writing today's date as II/VI/MMXVI??

So, while the number 50 is getting a workout in the never ending Super Bowl promotions, unfortunately, the traditional numbers will be put back on the shelf next year. The NFL will be bringing back the Roman numerals in Super Bowl 51. Oh excuse me, I meant to say Super Bowl LI. Agghhh..

kw