Baseball - Things That Make Me Go Hmmm....

I've been watching baseball for as long as I can remember. Although some would argue that it's a slow moving game, to me there's no better one-on-one match up than a Louisville Slugger and a 90 mph fastball. With that being said, there are some things that, after all of these years, I still don't quite understand about the America's pastime.

For instance, is the 1st base coach really necessary in Major League Baseball? I figure the average professional ball player started running the bases when he was about five years old. So, by the age of twenty-something, I would think that he would know to run to first base after hitting the ball. It just seems kind of silly to see a coach yelling, "Run, Forest, Run!"

And why do pitchers have to go through the song-and-dance routine of throwing four pitches on an intentional walk? Wouldn't it make more sense just to tell the batter drop his bat and head to first? Why waste all of the energy? Plus, it adds four more pitches to the dreaded "pitch count".

And why does the National League still insist on letting the pitchers bat? I know there are a few exceptions (Babe Ruth was a freak of nature), but most pitchers couldn't hit water if they fell out of a boat. The best you can usually hope for is a sacrifice bunt. If Chicago can put lights in Wrigley Field, the National League can put in the designated hitter.

Speaking of bunts, why is a batter out if he bunts a ball foul with two strikes? Why is a bunt any different than any other batted ball?

Here's another thing that I don't understand. Why do Major League managers wear uniforms? Unless they're going to grab a bat and pinch hit in the eighth, it makes little sense to me (Yeah, I know Frank Robinson did it with the Indians back in the 70's, but that was a rare thing). If I recall correctly, way back in the day, managers like Connie Mack used to actually wear suits in the dugout.

Since we're on the subject of proper attire, why don't players keep their helmets clean? When you go to an NFL game, the helmets are so clean and shiny that they nearly fry your retinas! But some of these modern day baseball players walk up to home plate looking like they just spent a month on an oil rig. The helmets are a so filthy that you can't tell if it's a batting helmet or camouflage combat gear.

Speaking of combat, have you ever seen one of those bench-clearing brawls? It usually starts when a pitcher throws at an opposing batter's head (The play-by-play guys like to refer to this as "chin music"). At some point, there will be retaliation from the other team's pitcher. When this happens, the batter will charge the mound which is followed immediately afterward by players rushing out of the dugouts and in from the bullpens. When I see these things, the old 70's song "Kung Fu Fighting" immediately pops into my head. Anyway, instead of having these high-priced ball players beating the crap out of one another, why doesn't baseball go the way of hockey and have designated goons to handle these situations? Major League Baseball could hire a bunched of washed up MMA fighters to represent each team. At the first sign of any chin music, a goon from each team would automatically rush out to center-field where they would proceed to kick each others' ass.

And what's up with the constant adjusting-of-the batting gloves between every pitch? The next time you watch a game, pay close attention to this obsessive, compulsive ritual. The batter will loosen his batting gloves, adjust them accordingly, then velcro them back. He'll step up to the plate, take a pitch and then go back to the "loosen-adjust-tighten" routine all over again. Do the gloves really get that loose after just one pitch?

Speaking of pitches, why do they use so many baseballs? From what I've read, the average "lifetime" of a Major League baseball is six pitches. If the catcher drops the ball in the dirt, they toss it out and give the pitcher a new ball. Believe it or not, the price of an official Major League baseball (according to Sport's Authority's website) is almost $20. Assuming that there's an average of 250 pitches in a game, with a life of six pitches, it would mean about 40 balls would be used in a average game. That's $800 in baseballs for each game! Come on guys, children are starving in Africa. Can't you play with a dirty ball every once in a while?

And why do baseball players chew tobacco? You don't really see this in any other sport. Can you imagine if basketball players did this? They'd have to call a time-out every couple of minutes just to mop up the floor. And if baseball players aren't chewing tobacco, they chewing sunflower seeds and spitting the shells out all over the field. You never see tennis players doing that.

By the way, what ever happened to the cart that used to drive the pitchers in from the bullpen? The cart looked like a giant baseball with the home team's hat on top. MLB should bring those things back!

And have you ever noticed the the reliever who spends an hour warming up in the bullpen? Some of these guys have already reach the 100-pitch count before they even enter the game!

Lastly, why is the tall metal structure that towers above the right and left field lines called the foul pole? After all, if a ball happens to hit it, isn't it fair ball?

Obviously, there are some things that I don't understand about baseball.....

kw