Police Departments - A Look Into The Future

The year is 2020.......

Life in America's cities has changed dramatically since the riots of '15. The "Hands Up, Don't Shoot" movement from a few years ago set the stage for serious innovations in law enforcement. Although a valiant effort was made by the opposing "Pants Up, Don't Loot" movement, they really didn't have a chance in stopping the revolution.

The first major change came in 2016. Due to immense public pressure to combat police related shootings, a decision was made to disarm all police departments. In physical confrontations, police would now be limited to the use of their nightsticks for self-defense. However, although police officers would be allowed to draw their nightsticks, they were not permitted to use them. The billy-club was, more or less, a prop to give the street cop a false sense of security. The good ol' days the "wood shampoo" was reduced to a distant memory.

Additionally, as a result of the Sharpton Intimidation Training initiative of 2017 (also know as the Sh.I.T. initiative), police uniforms were mandated to be more "friendly" looking. Traditional dark colors such as black and navy blue were no longer permitted. Instead, police would now be given a choice of fuchsia, turquoise or the aesthetically-pleasing daffodil yellow. Hats were replaced with berets to make cops look more "French-like". Also, footwear was limited to flip-flops and Docksiders.

Police vehicles underwent a series of innovations as well. Police cars would now be painted bright, neon colors in an effort to give suspects a fair warning. Cops are also required to give advance notice prior to interrupting any type of criminal activity. Should the cop encounter a crime in progress, he/she is now required to count to 10 (using the 1-Mississippi, 2-Mississippi method) to give the suspect a running start. And should the cop eventually catch the suspect, the cop is permitted to use only one hand. In an attempt to give cops a reasonable advantage, they will have the choice of using the hand of their choice.

Now, if things happen to escalate, this presents a dilemma for the police officer. Should the suspect strike the officer, the recommended defense is for the officer to "turtle up" to prevent bodily harm to himself. However, under extreme and unimaginable circumstances, when all other defense mechanisms have failed, the officer is allowed to use one hand to strike back at the suspect. However, it can not be reiterated enough, that one hand must remain behind the officers back at all times to ensure that the suspect does feel intimidated.

These changes predictably brought enhancements in which the way police socially interact with potential suspects. For example, if a street cop suspects a drug transaction, he is perfectly within his rights to engage in dialogue with the suspect. However, the police officer must always address the suspect as "sir". If at any point, the suspect feels disrespected, he is free to disengage from the conversation. The cop, at this time, must retreat. Any further action on the police officer's part can result in civil charges against the department.

Along these same line, police officers must refrain from raising their voices in a suspects presence. Yelling will not, in any way, tolerated under the Sh.I.T. initiative. It scares the criminals, it's that simple. Any infractions will be met with swift disciplinary action on the officer.

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The result of these sweeping changes demoralized police departments all over America. The media succeeded in painting them as trigger-happy racists who wake up each morning with the goal of killing someone, preferably of color.. Once highly respected, police officers were now vilified. Cops, who had already been putting their lives on the line for decades, now became sitting ducks for violent street criminals. As police were rendered virtually helpless, the criminal element thrived and transformed communities into lawless wastelands. Ironically, there were no protests nor media backlash against this new wave of senseless violence. With little hope, law abiding citizens fled the cities in a mass exodus. The point of no return was now a sad reality.....

kw