If you try parking in the city and it happens to be in front of someone's house, be prepared to catch a serious attitude from the homeowner. It's like these people have radar! The second you start to back into the vacant spot, they'll magically appear on their front stoop. They usually won't say anything, because there's nothing they can really do. After all, it's a public street. However, their icy stare will assure you that they are not happy about the situation. You'll feel their eyes burning a hole in your back until you're out safely out of sight. My advice is to walk very fast.
I remember visiting a friend of mine in the city a few years ago. There was maybe three cars parked on the whole street. So, I randomly parked alongside the curb. Well, as soon as I exited my vehicle, a woman comes out of her house and says, "Hey, that's my husband's spot!"
I didn't like her attitude, so I said, "Are you kidding me? The whole street is empty. I don't think your husband will have any trouble finding a spot."
"Oh, no. My husband always parks in that spot", she explains.
As I walk towards my friend's house, I tell her, "Look, m'am, I'm only going to be a few minutes. How about I just leave my car there. And that way, no one else can take your husband's spot."
She looks at me in a confused way and replies, "Ok, as long as you're not going to be too long." I just smiled and kept on walking.
Oh, here's another situation. A few years ago, I had to do some work in a rough part of the city. Well, I park on the street and gather up my belongings and then start to head into the office building. I notice three young men, who I assume are unlicensed pharmacists, hangin outside of a nearby vacant house. One of them calls out, "Hey, my man. You need somebody to watch your car?"
A bit confused, I ask, "Why would I need someone to watch my car?"
He then explains that there are some "shady mutha-fuckas" in this area and that one of them might try to break in. Of course, these fine young gentlemen couldn't have possibly been part of that shady group. The guy then explains that for $5, he and his friends would make sure no one messed with my vehicle. To his credit, he actually made it sound like a real bargain. So, essentially, I was given a choice of forking over five bucks or having my car vandalized, presumably by these guys. So, I wound up getting back in my car and parking in a garage on the other side of the building.
Have you ever driven through Baltimore after it snows? If so, you've probably seen those people who use their lawn furniture as placeholders! That's right, after they shovel their car out, they go to the back yard and drag out the lawn furniture. They then pull their car out and put the furniture in it's place. And the placeholders aren't limited to lawn furniture. I've also seen kitchen tables, dressers, coat trees, coffee tables and in one case, a La-Z-Boy recliner. Is this kind of thing even legal? Does shoveling the snow instantly give you rights to this small, yet coveted, piece of real estate? I have to imagine that there's been some pretty brutal altercations over this situation.
And then there are those people who will park anywhere, anytime, legally or illegally. This often results in the person stopping right in the middle of the road. In the city, they refer to the as "double parking".
Gotta run into the bank? Not a problem if you think like these guys:
I'll just park here in the middle of Pratt Street and run in. People will just have go around me. If they have a problem with it, they can f*ck off!
So, in addition to dodging the UPS trucks, bicycles and the occasional shooting victim, you also have to maneuver around the jackasses who think they're much too important to use a parking meter.
And speaking of parking meters. be careful. If you pay for two hours, you'd better have the key in the ignition at 1 hour and 59 minutes. If not there will be a meter maid with a hyperactive ink-pen waiting to slap a ticket on your windshield.
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