The End of Real Balls?

Ok, so I'm reading an article* about how a Long Island middle school is banning baseballs, footballs, basketballs and even soccer balls from their recess activities. The reason? They're afraid that the kiddies might get injured. Other schools outside of the Long Island school district are also considering banning the balls.

Instead of the traditional "dangerous" balls, the kids will now be restricted to Nerf balls and other kinder, gentler alternatives. "Rough" games of tag and even cartwheels are also unless they are supervised by a coach. The kids now need a coach in order to do a cartwheel? Are you kidding me? What are the credentials for being a cartwheel coach?

I can see being reasonably protective of our youngsters. But don't you think that treating a football like it's an assault weapon is a bit extreme? Learning to throw a spiral is a rite of passage for most boys. And snagging the ball out of mid-air allows youngsters to vicariously become Jerry Rice for a brief moment.  And now the schools are saying that that it's too dangerous?  Hey, I could understand it if we were in France. But this is the United States of America where boys play with real footballs. They'll never make it to Ball-So-Hard University if they're restricted to playing with foam balls.

And regarding the other sports, is it even possible to dribble a foam basketball or kick a foam soccer ball? I figure that it would be like playing with a giant marshmallow.

Can you imagine this kind of nonsense when we were in school? I can remember playing dodgeball during recess as a kid. The object was to hit your opponent with the ball. But more precisely, your goal was to drill him with everything your ten-year-old arm could muster. I can even remember the teachers encouraging it! Hell, if a teacher did that today, he would probably be looking at felony child-abuse charges.

And when it came to baseball, I will admit that it could sometimes be a little scary. I can remember facing Joe Mundell, who even at 12 years old, threw like a freight train. With each subsequent trip to the plate, I would gain a little more confidence. Before long, I actually looked forward to batting against Big Joe. I figured if I could get a hit off of him, any other pitcher would be a piece of cake. Of course, there were some bumps and bruises along the way, but it was well worth it. Not only did it build up my fastball hitting skills, it also built courage and character. Somehow, I don't think I would have felt the same sense of accomplishment if I had been facing a 80 mph piece of foam.

Now, aside from the safety issue, there's also another reason that the schools might be banning "hard" balls. In today's "sue happy society", schools are concerned that they may face lawsuits for any potential schoolyard injury. Of course, back in the day, if you scraped your knee during recess, the school nurse cleaned it up, slapped a Band-Aid on it and sent you back out to the playground. Nowadays, school nurses practically face distribution charges if they give a kid a cough drop.

I'll sum it up by saying this......If you take away real balls from our kids now, they won't have any real balls when they grow up.

kw

* http://newyork.cbslocal.com/2013/10/07/long-island-middle-school-bans-footballs-other-recreational-items/

Are The Redskins Offensive?

During recent years, certain sports teams have come under fire for their "controversial" names and/or mascots. A good example is the the Washington Redskins. Although the American Indian is usually a symbol of pride and strength, the Redskins' native American mascot has been called racist and insensitive by many in the politically correct crowd.

(By the way, I never quite understood why American Indians are referred to as "native" Americans. After all, by definition, aren't most of us "native" Americans since we were born here? To stir the pot on this subject, I used to check off the "Native American" box on various forms and applications. When people would eventually ask me if I was an Indian, I would explain,"No, But I was born in America. So, therefore I'm native. Should I have checked another box?" Of course, this would usually generate a "deer-in-the-headlights" look from the person.)

Anyway, back the Redskins mascot. I'm not really sure what's so offensive about it. Although, I'm not a huge fan of their football team, I always thought the Redskins' mascot looked bad ass. But not everyone feels the same way...

Tomorrow, a group known as the Oneida Indian Nation plans to hold a public conference in Washington DC. The group plans to call for the NFL to end the use of the word "Redskins", as they consider it a racial slur. Several US lawmakers are also scheduled to be in attendance. Even President Obama has recently commented on the issue by saying,"If I were the owner of a team and I knew that there was a name of my team, even if it had a storied history, that was offending a sizable group of people, I'd think about changing it." (Yep, the government is still shutdown and these guys are worried about who might be offended by the word "Redskins".)

According to a recent USA Today poll, 79% of Americans feel that the Redskins should keep their name. In a 2002 Sports Illustrated poll, 75% of American Indians surveyed, had no objection to Washington's use of the word Redskin. And in 2004, Annenburg Public Policy Center at the University of PA, conducted a survey among American Indians in the continental US. The result? 91% found the word Redskin acceptable.

So, why all the controversy? After all, almost anything can be deemed offensive if you twist it hard enough. Should we put an effort into changing things whenever anyone raises the PC flag?

Let's try to put things into perspective. Just look at Notre Dame. They're team name is the Fighting Irish and their mascot is a pissed off leprechaun. The mascot, possibly fueled by multiple shots of Jameson, always looks like he's ready kick someone's ass. If one were politically correct or grew up in France, I can see how they might see this as an insensitive portrayal of the Irish people. But do you think the actual Irish are offended by this? Hell, no! They're proud to be labeled as badasses! In fact, if some politically correct asshole even attempted to change Notre Dame's mascot, he would probably be pummeled by a hailstorm of Guinness bottles!

With all of this being said, I have to admit that I am a bit offended by the Florida State Seminoles. It has nothing to do with the their controversial name and everything to do with the 63-0 scalping that they gave to my hometown Maryland Terps yesterday. That was offensive and insensitive!

kw

Another Political Pissing Contest

As we close out the first full week of the government shutdown, there are all kinds of emotional reactions around the country. I can certainly understand the outrage from the people who are directly affected by this nonsense. After all, many of these folks are the sole providers of their family and losing their income for even a brief period can be tough.

I've heard arguments and seen the finger-pointing from both political parties. Hey, if it makes you feel better to side up with either of these groups, so be it. But the bottom line is that they're all politicians. And frankly, I'm tired of being a puppet for these assholes. Regardless of your affiliation, how many times have these guys let all of us down? The latest government shutdown is just the latest example.

Let's try to examine what's really happening here.....

First off, let's address the budget. Every year, Congress has to agree on a budget to fund the government. Of course, the government works on a fiscal year which begins on October 1. Although these jerk-offs had all year to come up with a solution, they still couldn't get it done.

Now, there's a pissing contest going on between the Democrats and Republicans primarily over the funding of the Affordable Healthcare Act (aka Obamacare). The Republican controlled House of Representatives has used the budget crisis as an opportunity to defund or delay Obamacare. Of course, the Democrat controlled Senate supports Obamacare and that's where pissing begins. Here's the lowdown:

1. The House passes a budget bill (including a few Obamacare amendments) and then sends it over to the Senate for approval. 
2. The Senate looks at it and says, "Whoa, Nelly! Nice try, boys!" And then they proceed to strip off the Obamacare amendments and send it back to the House for another try.
3. The political tennis match continues back and forth while almost a million Americans wonder when they'll get their next paycheck.

Republicans will say that Obamacare is an inevitable trainwreck and this might be the only legitimate shot to put the brakes on it. And the Democrats will point out that Obamacare is already in place. So, why is the GOP senselessly delaying the budget fix by using it as a political bargain chip? The truth of the matter is that either side could resolve this mess today. However, they won't because they would rather toe the party line than do what's right. That's the way politics work these days....

I just want to say a couple of things about Obamacare. Whether it turns out to be a good or a disaster, the whole thing was sold to us by Democratic sweethearts like President Obama and Nancy Pelosi on the premise that it was not a tax. However, on the verge of being declared unconstitutional by the Supreme Court, it passed only because it was indeed a tax. John Roberts cast the deciding "coup de grace", essentially blindsiding the Republican opponents of Obamacare. Politics is a bitch, huh?

We elect our representatives because we assume that they're smart enough to make the decisions that will benefit all of us. We put a boatload of trust in these people. How long will we continue to believe this bullshit? Politicians have two primary objectives: Getting elected and getting re-elected. I'm pretty well convinced that they couldn't give a rat's ass about you or me.....

kw

2013 - Another Exciting O's Season

The Orioles were clinging to the last bit of hope to make the playoffs prior to this past weekend's 4-game series with Tampa Bay. Ideally they needed to sweep, but winning three out of four would have still kept them hanging by a thread. However, things went totally south and the O's wound up losing all four and thus suspending their playoff hopes until next season.

As disappointed as I am about missing the playoffs, I have to give kudos to the team for keeping me thrilled and entertained all summer. For many years, the O's seemed to be out of the playoff picture by the All-Star break. And quite honestly, there wasn't a whole lot to cheer about. But things are much better now as the September games actually mean something again.

There were plenty positive things to focus on this season. Chris Davis came right out of the gate with fireworks in his bat. When Davis connected, you knew instantly that the ball wasn't coming back. Some of his shots were absolutely mind-blowing. I can remember watching one game where Davis blasted one into the centerfield stratosphere. I happened to be alone, so my only disappointment was that I didn't have anyone to high-five. I really wish Davis could have broken Roger Maris' record of 61 home-runs. But at least he broke the all-time Oriole's record. Maybe he'll catch Maris next year.....

When it came to defense this year, the Orioles were stellar. I've been watching baseball since I was eight years old and this year's team was the best defensive team that I've ever seen. Some of the acrobatic plays by 3rd baseman Manny Machado simply amazed me. I've said it before and I'll say it again, Manny Machado is the best 3rd baseman to wear the black and orange since Brooks Robinson. Machado's talent is superb on the offensive side as well. He delivered many clutch hits throughout the season. It's hard to believe that this guy just turned twenty-one. It was heartbreaking to watch him being carted off the field on a stretcher after he injured his knee this past Monday. But the good news is that it's not too serious and he'll be back adding to his highlight reel of plays next season.

The defense certainly didn't stop with Machado. The O's were solid all the way around the diamond. I can't ever remember seeing so many outstanding plays from one team. It's quite possible that the Orioles could have five Gold Glove recipients this year. In my opinion, Chris Davis, Matt Wieters, Adam Jones, JJ Hardy and Manny Machado are all serious contenders for the award.

Of course, when it comes to offense, most of the attention has been on Chris Davis. But somewhat overlooked is that Adam Jones has 32 HR's and 100+ RBI's. That's a career year for most players. Aside for the big overall numbers, most of the other player's stepped up and delivered at some point in the season. The Oriole's have shown that they're a team. I'm not sure if the credit should go to Buck Showalter, but it's nice to see these guys pulling for each other. They appear to share camaraderie reminiscent of those classic O's teams of yesteryear..

Lastly, I need to say a few things about the O's pitching. First off, it was comfortingly to see that O's had a legitimate shot at having their first 20-game winner (Chris Tillman) in nearly 30 years. Tillman showed that he has the ability to be the ace of the staff. Although, he came up a little short, I look for Chris to make another strong run in 2014. Wei-Yen Chen started the season a little late, but showed signs of promise. He got roughed up early in a few outings but I still have confidence in him. However, if the O's are going to make a serious run next season, I think they're going to have to sign another quality starter this winter. We need a guy who can pitch into the late innings which will help keep the bullpen fresh.

Speaking of the bullpen, at times, they looked brilliant. Darrin O'Day and Tommy Hunter had good stuff all year. The biggest problem was they they were overworked at times. In today's fascination with the pitch count, even when pitching well, starters are sometimes pulled by the 5th inning. The biggest disappointment with the bullpen the closer role. Jimmy Johnson, who actually has an impressive-looking 47 saves, was downright frustrating at times. He uncharacteristically blew several saves this year, leaving fans wondering what the hell happened. Johnson, who almost always seem to let the lead-off man aboard, has become the modern version of Don "Fullpack" Stanhouse*. It will be interesting to see if the O's try to transition Johnson out of the closer role next season.

With all of this being said, I absolutely enjoyed watching the Orioles this year. The never-ending supply of dramatic moments and spectacular plays always left me wanting more. Although they didn;t quite make the post-season this year, the excitement was always there. And that's what really matters. No doubt, baseball is alive and well in Baltimore......

kw

* Don Stanhouse was the O's closer in the late 70's. He would often put multiple runners on base, creating volatile situations. Manager Earl Weaver would often be seen pacing the dugout and chain-smoking while Stanhouse attempted to pitch his way out of these jams. Weaver began to refer to him as "Fullpack" because of the amount of cigarettes he consumed while Stanhouse was on the mound.

Dancing With Sweet Pea

The off-field antics of NFL players can sometimes be almost as intriguing as their accomplishments on the turf. The latest incident involves none other than "Dancing With The Stars" finalist and Super Bowl Champ, Jacoby Jones.

Although the Raven's wide receiver has been sidelined since the opening game with a sprained MCL, it didn't stop him from suiting up for a ride on the party bus. The Raven's star was out celebrating teammate Bryant McKinney's birthday late Sunday night. McKinney, as you might recall, was involved in the infamous Minnesota Vikings' Love Boat incident several years ago. So it's probably not too surprising that a group of strippers was hired to assist with entertainment duties on Sunday's party bus. And in the case, what happened on the party bus, didn't actually stay on the party bus.....

Somewhere after the pole the last pole dance, Jacoby Jones was cold-cocked with a bottle of Ace of Spades. I guess Jacoby never got the memo about keeping his hands off of the dancers? Although we don't have all of the details, it has been reported that a stripper known as Sweet Pea (no relation to Popeye) is the one who thumped Jones with the gigantic bottle of French champagne. Hypnotic and Ciroc might be thump-worthy in the hood, but this is the big leagues, son!

Jones was reported to have been "bleeding all over the place" and an ambulance was called to the scene of the party bus. Probably nursing a pretty bad headache, Jones appeared at the Raven's practice facility on Monday morning to undergo his scheduled rehab procedures. Coach John Harbaugh didn't talk too much about the incident, but he did mention that he wasn't impressed with the details. I saw a photo of the Sweet Pea and company and I have to tell you, I wasn't impressed with the caliber of strippers these million dollar athletes hired. Come on guys, you're the Super Bowl champs! Is a stripper named after a comic strip really the best you could do?

I had never heard of "Ace of Spades" before the Jones thumping, so I did a little research. It turns out that it's actually a French champagne called Armand de Brignac. It's sold in a metallic bottle with an Ace of Spades logo, thus the nickname. It comes in bottles, ranging in size from 750 milliliters all the way up to 30 liters. The champagne gained noted visibility when rapper, Jay-Z, appeared with a bottle in a 2006 video.

So, let this be a lesson folks. If you you ever cross a busload of husky strippers and a 3-foot bottle of Armand de Brignac, run in the other direction!

kw

Cracking The Looking Glass Self

During my brief stint in psychology-101 way back in the day, I learned about things like self-image and "looking-glass" self. These are terms that describe how we think we're perceived by others. Sometimes people perceive us totally different than we would expect.

Through the years, I have met several people who attempted to clear this up for me. I've listed several examples below. As you'll see, many of these encounters took place in drinking establishments which may help explain some of the stranger encounters. At least that's what I'm hoping......

• Having a beer at a local bar several years ago, I struck up a lengthy conversation with an elderly black man. Somehow, we got on the subject of blues musicians. We're exchanging stories of blues legends such as John Lee Hooker, Howlin' Wolf and good ol' Lead Belly. I'm thinking that I'm really impressing the old man with my knowledge of these guys. Well, after a while, he scratches his chin and says, "Son, you impress me as a person who knows a little bit about everything but not much about nuthin'." 

• One time, Tina and I were sitting in a hotel lounge in Pennsylvania. The place was very crowded. We happened to have two empty seats at our table. There were two women who appeared to be looking for a place to sit, so we invited them to sit with us. It turned out that they were lesbians. We spent a couple hours knocking back drinks and talking about everything from religion to politics. When we eventually said goodbye, one of the women shakes my hand and says," You are the coolest Republican that I've ever met."

• I was recently at a wake and found myself sitting at a table with a strange-looking guy whom I had never met. He eventually asks, "Are you the fire chief?" Somewhat surprised, I tell him that I've never worked for the fire department. Then he asks, "Are you a politician or something?" Again, I smile and tell him that I'm not. He closes by saying," Ok. With your slicked back hair and all, I just figured that you were someone important."

• I stopped off at a Glen Burnie bar several years ago to shoot a game of pool. I was dressed in a pair of khakis and a collared shirt. Apparently, this raised a red flag to the intellectually-challenged bar crowd. Before long, a drunk walks up to me and asks,"Hey man, are you a cop?" I tell him that I'm not. Obviously not believing me, he follows up with, "Well, everyone here thinks that you are. You better watch your back." Even though I wasn't a cop, I had to wonder why these Mensa candidates thought it might a good idea to threaten one. And if that wasn't bad enough, another knucklehead comes up to me and says, "Hey man, word has it that you're in here to buy drugs. Just to let you know, we don't do that kind of stuff here." Looking around the barroom made me seriously doubt this man's last sentence. I figured, at that point, I should probably leave before someone mistook me for Elvis.

• On a similar note, last year in Delaware, a guy walks up to me and says, "Did anyone ever tell you that you look like Mitt Romney?"

• A guy at the local tennis court motions for me to come over. I walk over to meet him and he greets me by saying, "How have you been? You look like you're really packing on the pounds." I respond,"Yes, I am. And thank you so much for noticing!"

• I was killing time waiting for a flight in Newark, NJ. I walked into the crowded airport bar and approached the burly barmaid. Once we make eye contact, I say, "When you get a chance, can I get a beer?" This sets the woman off and she responds, "Don't you come in here ordering me around! I'll get you a damned beer if I feel like getting you a damned beer!" Equally pissed and scared, the only response that I could muster was, "Wow! I think someone needs a hug!"

• Several years ago, I'm out with a buddy at a popular summer-time watering hole on Maryland's eastern shore. My friend, who is single, sees a group of attractive women at the bar. He's hoping somehow to strike up a conversation with them. So, being a good friend, I offer to be his "wing man". In a nonchalant attempt to introduce my buddy to the group of ladies, I hand my cell phone/camera to the most attractive one and ask, "Excuse me, would you mind taking a picture me and my friend?" The woman says,"Sure." She snaps the photo, and as she's looking it, she says,"Wow, that turned out nice. You guys are really cute. How long have you been together?"......Obviously, not the plan I was shooting for.

Deep down inside everyone has an image of what they think they look like on the outside. But as you can see, it's not always what you think.....

kw

Turn Off Your Damned Cell Phone!

We've all experienced those inconsiderate cell phone interruptions from time to time. From business meetings to Sunday mass, you can always count on hearing the distinct ring-tone from some dumbass's smartphone.

Case in point....

Earlier this week, I attended a funeral service. Although the occasion was somber, the actual service was quite beautiful. Several speakers shared their fond memories of their departed friend and family member. The speeches were humorous as well as emotional and very touching. The first speech was given by a well-known former member of Congress. Although she was speaking through the church's PA system, her voice was still hard to hear. So, understandably, everyone was trying to concentrate on the pronunciation of her every word. Well, at one point, a cell phone rings. A guy in the next set of pews immediately pulls out his phone and appears to turn it off. Then, about two minutes later, it rings again! This time, the guy stands up and heads towards the exit, in what I'm assuming was a mad dash to answer the phone.

This should have been a reminder to everyone else to check their phone. But, of course that didn't happen. Before long, another phone rang. If there was ever a reason to slap someone silly, this would be right at the top of the list.

Although it didn't happen in this case, I've seen this one play out as well. A guy gets a phone call in the middle of an important event. Instead of just hitting the ignore or mute button, he'll answer the damned thing. And then, He'll make matters worse by going into this song and dance:

"Hey, I'm in the middle of something. Let me call you back.....Right....Gotcha.......OK... No, no, tell them to wait until I call back.....Huh?......No way!........Hey, look, I really gotta go....."

And as the guy realizes that he's become a major distraction, he'll shrug his shoulders and point to his phone as if to blame the person on the other end. Of course, he'll still continue to blabber on:

"Hey look man, I gotta go, people are staring at me.....Seriously, let me call you right back....Yeah, ok.......This is crazy....I know, I know.....Just wait 'til I call back, ok?......Ok, bye."

And then after he finishes and realizes that everyone is staring at him, the guy will say, "Damn, I couldn't get 'em off the phone. Sorry about that."

It's really starting to get ridiculous.. Have we become so dependant on our cell phones that we can't turn them off or leave them in the car for an hour? Will life cease to exist if we are separated from our phones for any length of time?

Back to the guy at the funeral.....

We eventually make our way to the cemetery. Every one is gathered around the casket as military honors are being performed. If you've ever experienced this, you know that it's a very emotional ceremony. So, unbelievably, right in the middle of all this, a cell phone goes off. And can you guess who it belonged to? Yep, that's right, it was the same guy from the church! I couldn't believe it. I felt like grabbing his phone and smashing it over his numb skull. As much as it would have been welcomed, it would have only created even more of a distraction. So, the only thing anyone could do was shoot the guy a dirty look. (But I understand my brother-in-law gave him a well-deserved earful later. Good for him...)

So. the next time that you're attending an "uninterruptible" event, please don't be "that asshole". Do everyone a favor and puh-lease mute your damned cell phone!

kw