If I told you that I've never met a beer that I didn't like, I'd be lying. There are indeed some really nasty ones out there. There's been a time in almost every beer drinkers life when he or she sacrifices taste in order to save a few bucks. I can respect that and I'm not here to cast judgement. But I am here to give you what I consider to be some the nastiest beers out there. For your additional enjoyment, I've added some of my personal experiences surrounding them.
Milwaukee's Best - If you ever happen to drink one of these, throw it in the freezer for about twenty minutes first. That way, you'll have a better chance of numbing your taste buds before the horrendous "flavor" kicks in. There was a local guy that used to drop by to chat with my Dad & I when we used to occasionally work in the Linthicum, MD area. His name was Norman. He would drop by first thing in the morning half-crocked carrying a six pack of Milwaukee's Best. And the worst part was that he used to drink it warm. It used to turn my stomach just watching Stormin' Norman guzzling this warm piss water at 8:30 in the morning. Agghh.....
Pabst Blue Ribbon - Why anyone thought that this beer was worthy of a blue ribbon is beyond me. I was leaving Jacobs Field in Cleveland several years ago when my friend, Lathan, spotted a sign outside a bar that said "$1 PBR Drafts". Lathan instinctively said, "Come on, Ken. One dollar drafts! We gotta check it out!" Not wanting to curb his enthusiasm, I followed him into the bar. He ordered us a round. And only after a few sips, I was tapping out. It was so bad that the thought of drinking the whole mug repulsed me.. Next time, I will keep walking until I see a bar with a Sam Adams sign.......
Black Label - How nasty is this beer? Let me tell you. When I was a teenager, some of the neighborhood kids stole a bunch of Black Label from a boxcar. They tried to peddle this stuff through the neighborhood to the under-21 crowd (actually it was 18 back then). The asking price was something like $2.50 a case. And they still couldn't get rid of it. In fact, they couldn't even give it away. When underage drinkers don't even want free beer, it must be really bad.
Stroh's - Someone once lied to me and told me that Stroh's was a pretty good beer. So, I bought a six-pack to check it out for myself. After my first taste, I immediately wished I could get my money back. The only recollection that I have is that it tasted like it was burnt. I once took a sip from a bottle of beer that someone mistakenly used as an ashtray. Yes, it was nasty! And that's kind of what I remember that bottle of Stroh's tasting like.
National Bohemian (aka Natty Boh) - I really want to like this beer. After all, the Natty Boh man is synonymous with my hometown of Baltimore. But I have to be honest, it's not very good. I was recently winding down the evening in a local bar when I spotted the famous Natty Boh man on one of the bar taps. So, I said, "What the hell." I should have known better because when I asked for a Natty Boh draft, the bartender immediately responded, "Are you sure about this?" But I took one for my hometown anyway. And I honestly tried to finish it. But after downing half the glass, I had to dump it out.
Busch Light - As if regular Busch wasn't bad enough, they make a watered down version. I have a good friend who pretty much only drinks this flavorless beer. It's kind of confusing seeing him on the deck of his $200,000 boat with a Busch Light in his hand. As you can guess, I never miss an opportunity to give him a hard time about it.
Red, White & Blue - It pains me to say that I don't care for something with red, white and blue in the name. But that's the case with this beer. It doesn't have much flavor but if you swish it around in your mouth, it has subtle notes of gutter water. It takes a special man to drink it. And Big Daddy Earl was such a man. Earl was the father of one of my best friends and he absolutely loved Red, White & Blue. I never completely understood why, but would stockpile cases and cases of this stuff in his basement. He would always offer me one when I stopped by the house. Since I respected the man so much, I could never turn him down. Although, I don't particularly care for this beer, I would be more than happy to tip one back with Earl, if he were here today.
If you happen to like any of these beers, more power to you. What is one man's PBR is another man's Sam Adams. Cheers......
kw
Milwaukee's Best - If you ever happen to drink one of these, throw it in the freezer for about twenty minutes first. That way, you'll have a better chance of numbing your taste buds before the horrendous "flavor" kicks in. There was a local guy that used to drop by to chat with my Dad & I when we used to occasionally work in the Linthicum, MD area. His name was Norman. He would drop by first thing in the morning half-crocked carrying a six pack of Milwaukee's Best. And the worst part was that he used to drink it warm. It used to turn my stomach just watching Stormin' Norman guzzling this warm piss water at 8:30 in the morning. Agghh.....
Pabst Blue Ribbon - Why anyone thought that this beer was worthy of a blue ribbon is beyond me. I was leaving Jacobs Field in Cleveland several years ago when my friend, Lathan, spotted a sign outside a bar that said "$1 PBR Drafts". Lathan instinctively said, "Come on, Ken. One dollar drafts! We gotta check it out!" Not wanting to curb his enthusiasm, I followed him into the bar. He ordered us a round. And only after a few sips, I was tapping out. It was so bad that the thought of drinking the whole mug repulsed me.. Next time, I will keep walking until I see a bar with a Sam Adams sign.......
Black Label - How nasty is this beer? Let me tell you. When I was a teenager, some of the neighborhood kids stole a bunch of Black Label from a boxcar. They tried to peddle this stuff through the neighborhood to the under-21 crowd (actually it was 18 back then). The asking price was something like $2.50 a case. And they still couldn't get rid of it. In fact, they couldn't even give it away. When underage drinkers don't even want free beer, it must be really bad.
Stroh's - Someone once lied to me and told me that Stroh's was a pretty good beer. So, I bought a six-pack to check it out for myself. After my first taste, I immediately wished I could get my money back. The only recollection that I have is that it tasted like it was burnt. I once took a sip from a bottle of beer that someone mistakenly used as an ashtray. Yes, it was nasty! And that's kind of what I remember that bottle of Stroh's tasting like.
National Bohemian (aka Natty Boh) - I really want to like this beer. After all, the Natty Boh man is synonymous with my hometown of Baltimore. But I have to be honest, it's not very good. I was recently winding down the evening in a local bar when I spotted the famous Natty Boh man on one of the bar taps. So, I said, "What the hell." I should have known better because when I asked for a Natty Boh draft, the bartender immediately responded, "Are you sure about this?" But I took one for my hometown anyway. And I honestly tried to finish it. But after downing half the glass, I had to dump it out.
Busch Light - As if regular Busch wasn't bad enough, they make a watered down version. I have a good friend who pretty much only drinks this flavorless beer. It's kind of confusing seeing him on the deck of his $200,000 boat with a Busch Light in his hand. As you can guess, I never miss an opportunity to give him a hard time about it.
Red, White & Blue - It pains me to say that I don't care for something with red, white and blue in the name. But that's the case with this beer. It doesn't have much flavor but if you swish it around in your mouth, it has subtle notes of gutter water. It takes a special man to drink it. And Big Daddy Earl was such a man. Earl was the father of one of my best friends and he absolutely loved Red, White & Blue. I never completely understood why, but would stockpile cases and cases of this stuff in his basement. He would always offer me one when I stopped by the house. Since I respected the man so much, I could never turn him down. Although, I don't particularly care for this beer, I would be more than happy to tip one back with Earl, if he were here today.
If you happen to like any of these beers, more power to you. What is one man's PBR is another man's Sam Adams. Cheers......
kw
I agree with your assessments, though I do remember, back in the day when I was young(er) (way before your time) Boh was brewed here along with many other locally brewed beers and actually was pretty good. But let me tell you about something totally gross. In the grocery store recently I saw "Natty Boh Brats". So I bought a pack. How bad could it be, I thought, beer flavored brats. Don't try it. Imagine a greasy, strange smelling, weird tasting sausage with overtones of weasel piss. It stunk up my outside trash can for days till the next pick-up. Until then, I was afraid the cops would knock on my door with a citation for fouling the neighborhood (or maybe disposing of miscellaneous body parts)!
ReplyDeletevb
Hey Virginia, I have also noticed those Natty Boh brats at the local grocery stores. I came close to buying them one time but I remembered how bad that Natty Boh draft was. Rule of thumb when it comes to bratwurst...stick with Johnsonville.
ReplyDeleteKen
Nice ending Ken. I would gladly drink one with Earl if he was still around!!
ReplyDelete