Random Thoughts of Baseball

As I was watching last night's game, the usual baseball thoughts ran through my head: Will the pitcher through high and tight? Or will he throw an off-speed breaking ball? Will Tony LaRussa pinch hit for Chris Carpenter in the late innings? Playing from behind, will Texas try to "manufacture" a run or two by sacrificing runners into scoring position?

Although I don't follow baseball the way that I used to, I have to admit that this year's World Series grabbed my attention. St. Louis and Texas played their hearts out and took the series to the final game last night. Of course, the Cardinals wound up winning. But Texas deserves a ton of credit for their quest to become World Series champions for the first time in franchise history. Maybe next year......

All legitimate thoughts, but I also had some other random things dancing through my mind.......

For instance, why does the manager (and coaches) in baseball wear a uniform? It's not like their going to see any playing time. I believe that baseball is the only professional sport that does this. Back in the old days of Connie Mack and company, baseball managers used to wear suits. Maybe a bit overkill, but so is seeing a 260 pound coach squeezing his ass into a pair of form-fitting pinstripes. Can you imagine an NFL coach standing on the sidelines in a helmet and shoulder pads? Or an NBA coach in a pair of shorts? Ok, I think you get the point....

And what's up with the all of the tobacco chewing in baseball? I'm sure there are other athletes who partake in this nasty habit, but it seems to be most evident in baseball. Every time the camera pans the field, you can see a player or two spitting spent tobacco juice onto the field, especially around the batters box. I would really hate to be a catcher! And can you imagine rounding third and realizing that you have to slide into that brown puddle around home plate? No thanks, I think I'll retreat back to third base!

And what's the purpose of the first base coach? After all, professional baseball players have been in the game since they were kids. Don't you think they know that they have to run to first base after hitting the ball? And on their their way to first base, the whole play is in front of them. Do they really need someone to explain what's going on? If the pitcher attempts a pick-off play, the coach yells, "Get back!" Really? I would have never figured that one out......

And then there is the "purpose pitch". This is where a pitcher "sends a message" by plucking the batter with a 90 mph fastball. If he wants to put an exclamation point on it, the pitcher will queue up some "chin music". This is where he sails the ball dangerously close to the batters head. Of course, this always presents the potential for a bench-clearing brawl. And there's always a possibility a key player will get ejected or injured. Some of the most infamous brawls that immediately come to mind:

• 1993 Seattle Mariners and the Baltimore Orioles - For twenty minutes, Camden Yards looked like LA after the Rodney King verdict. Plenty ejections and injuries in this one. 
• 2003 playoffs between the Yankees and Red Sox - Upon charging the pitcher's mound, 72 year-old coach Don Zimmer was tossed to the ground by Boston ace Pedro Martinez.
• 1993 Nolan Ryan vs. Robin Ventura - My all-time favorite! After getting plunked with a 100 mph fastball, Ventura charged towards the 44 year-old Ryan. Ventura was immediately caught in a headlock and received numerous pop-knots to his skull courtesy of the strike-out king. Keep in mind that Ventura was 20 years younger than Nolan Ryan! Thank goodness Texas catcher Ivan Rodriguez was there to save him!

So, with all of this said, does it really make sense for star players to risk injury during these melees? Here's my idea...

 In hockey, teams have a designated "goon". This guys main purpose is to go in and take care of business when bad blood is brewing. He is the enforcer! So, I propose that we have the same thing in baseball. Instead of risking injury to star players, each team could add an MMA cage fighter to the roster. In the event of any chin music, these guys would come rushing out of the opposing dugouts and whoop each other's ass on the pitcher's mound. I can see it now, the crowd would go wild!

Ok, let's settle down a bit. Another thing that I don't understand is why baseball players are always "adjusting" themselves. I saw one particular player grabbing at his crotch so much that I thought I was watching the video for Thriller!

And what's up with all of the long hair and dreadlocks these days? I can remember watching Johnny Damon from the Red Sox several years ago. He looked like the caveman from the Geico commercials. You would never catch Nolan Ryan looking like that!

I'm glad that was able to shed some light on all of these little nuances of the game. I hope that this will enhance the experience of your next ball game.....

kw