A Developing Flight Pattern

Well, it was deja vu all over again for me, folks. I was faced with a recurring dilemma on my flight to Denver this past Sunday. I recently told you my story about the flight back from Florida*. Of course, that flight had a happy ending.

Here's the latest story from the friendly skies.....

Going through my usual pre-flight ritual, I checked in online 24 hours in advance. My seat number was 37A, which is a window seat. Although I prepare the aisle seat, a window seat is perfectly acceptable. As long as I don't get the dreaded middle seat, I'm good to go.

On Sunday, I head to airport. The flight is totally full. In fact, it's overbooked. How do airlines get away with this? If you have 300 seats, you should only be allowed to sell 300 tickets. But anyway, I eventually board the plane and make my way to the back of the large plane. As I approach the mid-30 rows, I see one empty window seat on the right. Using deductive reasoning, I conclude that this has to be my seat. I squeeze past the guy who's already sitting in the middle seat and shoe-horn my ass into the small window seat. I strike up a conversation with the guy next to me. He tells me that his wife and small child are in the row in front of us. His wife is in the middle seat with a young child that I would estimate to be about a year and a half old. In the window seat next to the mother, sits the couple's three year toddler.

The guy "apologizes in advance" for any commotion that the kids will cause during the 4-hour flight to Denver. This couldn't be good. In a lame bribe attempt, he offers to swap his middle seat with the guy in the aisle seat in front of us. But we all knew that wasn't going to happen. Given the choice of a middle seat and a screaming kid, I'll take the screaming kid every time.

Well, before long, a young woman in her mid-20's stops at our row and, in a not so friendly tone, says, "You're in my seat."

I find it odd that she looked at me when she said it. So, I reply, "Sorry, I think you might be mistaken. I have 37A"

And then she replies, "Well, you're sitting in 38A. That's my seat."

I realize that I made the mistake, so I apologize to girl and start to move out into the aisle.Then, I realize that the three-year old is sitting in my seat. Now, what?

So, I look at the parents and say, "Oops. How are we going to work this out?"

The mother tells me that the child is frightened and doesn't want to sit next to a stranger.. The father then utters what I've been dreading. He asks, "Would you mind letting my daughter have your seat? You can have her seat in the next row."

Almost afraid to ask, I say, "What is your daughter's seat number?"

He says, "36B."

Now, 36B might be a desirable bra size, but when it comes to airplane seats, it's anything but desirable! I instinctively give the guy my best "are you kidding me" look. My attention is then directly to the guy's daughter who is now clinging to her mother in an Oscar award winning kind of way. As the little girl starts to whine, another passenger says, "Aw, she's afraid that she's gonna have to move away from her mother." Everyone turned their heads to see what was going on. I felt like the passengers were conspiring against me. Can you believe this bullshit?

So, just like my trip from Florida last month, I had no choice. If I make the child get out of my seat, I will ironically look like the anti-Christ. I have no recourse except to say, "Fine, you're daughter can stay where she's at. I'll squeeze in between these two guys." I reluctantly squeeze into the row in front of the mother/daughter and take the dreaded middle seat.

As the child realized that her Oscar winning performance had paid off, she instantly began to laugh and play like she was going to Disney World. As the flight was in process, the little girl would occasionally let out a loud, ear-piercing scream. Napping passengers would jump every time she screamed. To add to the commotion, the girl began to fight with her younger sister. I put my ear-buds in and cranked up my I-pod to full blast to try and drown them out.

I've talked to some other people about what I've experienced. Some of them have told me that they won't switch seats regardless of the situation. I can see their point. After all, they check in at the appropriate time to secure a desirable a seat. Why should someone be able to set you up by planting their kid in your seat? It's a below-the-belt tactic, if you ask me. If families want to sit together, airlines will often allow an early check-in for a small fee. Ironically, it's often the guy that pays the early check-in fee who gets forced out of his seat.

I'm really starting to hate flying.......

kw

* http://kensmouthpiece.blogspot.com/2013/10/the-party-flight-from-panama-city.html