The Deception of Handicapped Parking

Have you ever paid close attention to the people who park in the handicapped parking spaces? Of course, there are some folks who are legitimately deserving of these spots. But I'd be willing to bet that the majority of these people are about as "handicapped" as Miley Cyrus during a twerking competition.

I recently saw a guy pull into a handicapped spot in front of Macy's. He jumped out of his truck and sprinted across the parking lot and into the store. That's right, he sprinted like Bruce freggin' Jenner! I was going to report the guy to one of the teenage mall cops. But as I walked past the guy's truck, I was shocked to see that he actually had handicapped tags. Legal or not, how does a guy who runs a four-minute mile have the conscience to park in a handicapped zone?

And sometimes, instead of the traditional handicapped license plates, people will use those tags that hang from the rear view mirror. The advantage is that they can easily move these tags to different vehicles. And as a result, these portable tags also make it easier to abuse the whole handicapped parking situation. For instance, I've seen people who looked like Olympic athletes park in handicapped spots. And, appearing to defy logic, they have one of those familiar tags hanging from the mirror. When I see these inconsiderate assholes effortlessly strolling across the parking lot, I instinctively get the urge to go all "Tonya Harding" on them. But  because there are laws against this type of thing, I've never actually do it. But I have to assume that nothing would turn an abused handicapped tag into a legitimate tag quicker than a brisk thump to the knee cap.

There is a hefty fine if you park in a handicapped spot without proper tags. But I think that the fine should be double or triple if you have the tags and then proceed to run across the parking lot! In my opinion, this is just another case of entitlement fraud.

So, if you happen to be one of these thoughtless morons who makes it a habit to abuse handicapped parking, please do us all a favor... the next time you get out of your vehicle, at least humor us and walk with a limp. It's the least you can do!

kw