A World Full of Nicknames

Nicknames come in all shapes, sizes and flavors. Some are flattering, some not so much so. We've all heard the infamous gangster nicknames like Richie the Iceman, Frankie the Spoon, Sammy the Bull, Teflon Don, Scarface, etc.

And who can forget some of the illustrious nicknames of boxers: Evander "The Real Deal" Holyfield, James "Lights Out" Toney, Hector "Macho" Camacho, James "Bonecrusher" Smith, Marvelous Marvin Hagler and Iron Mike Tyson. Of course, in one of boxing's most memorable upsets, Iron Mike was knocked out by a guy who was nicknamed "Buster".

MMA fighters bring us another batch of interesting handles: Chuck "The Iceman" Liddell, Keith "The Dean of Mean" Jardine, Chris "The Crippler" Leben, Stephan "The American Psycho" Bonner and my personal favorite, Wanderlie "The Axe Murderer" Silva. Who in the hell would voluntarily get into a locked cage with a guy named The Axe Murderer??

Of course, as a baseball fan, I must mention Hammerin' Hank Aaron, Ty "The Georgia Peach" Cobb, Willie "The Say Hey Kid" Mays, Cal "Iron Man" Ripken, Jim "Catfish" Hunter. And you must be really good if they name a whole month after you as in Reggie "Mr. October" Jackson. Of course, the best baseball player ever, George Herman Ruth was better known simply as Babe.

Musicians can also be labeled with signature aliases as well. For instance, Eric Clapton is also known as Slowhand. And some of the old bluesmen had some pretty interesting names: Lead Belly, Blind Lemon Jefferson, T-Bone Walker and Muddy Waters. And modern day rappers like Vanilla Ice, Ice-T, Ice Cube, LL Cool J, Jay-Z and Dr. Dre give us a never ending supply of new nicknames. And there's also what sounds like a vertically-challenged group of hip-hoppers like Lil' Bow Wow, Lil' Jon, Lil' Kim, Lil- P-Nut, Lil' Romeo, hang on while I catch my breath..... Lil' Wayne, Lil' Scrappy and Lil' Pappie. We haven't seen this many lil' uns since Dorothy met the Lollipop Kids! 

Wouldn't it be cool if someone decided to combine all these names and call themselves Lil' Cool Vanilla Ice Cube? Ok, maybe not.....

And then there's the ever changing nickname of rapper, Sean Combs. He's went from Puff Daddy to Puffy to P. Diddy to Puff to Diddy. This guy has more personalities than Sybil!

I always thought it would be cool to have a nickname. But unfortunately, my "nicknames" were more like insults. For instance, I've always been a bit overweight. So, as a kid, I got the predictable "fat boy" moniker. And perhaps even worse, because my ears were abnormally large, I would sometimes get called Dumbo or Ears. I used to really hate this. Fortunately for me, the rest of my head eventually caught up to my ears.

In my teens, I was temporarily branded with the name "Tank-Arm". I was given this name for my lame attempt to block shots on the basketball court. When an opposing player went to shoot the ball, I would swing at the ball but I'd usually wind up cracking the shooter across the head with my forearm. It got to the point where some of the guys refused to play with me. Yeah, I really sucked at basketball.

And then there's my infamous "Spatman" days from US Gypsum. (There's a whole story dedicated to this "legend". If you want to read more about it, the link is at the end of this page.)*

In my 20's, I played softball. One of the teams that I played for was called The Ballbusters. I always loved that name! Anyway, when the time came to order the team shirts, most of the guys requested that their favorite number and last name be printed on the back. However, instead of "Wilson", I requested that "Crunch" be printed on my shirt. When the coach asked for an explanation, I simply explained that this was the sound that was created when my bat made contact with the ball. It made sense to me. So, whenever the I took the field, I assumed the role of "Captain Crunch". Hey, I figured if no one else was going to give me a cool nickname, I'd do it myself. Following my lead, our good buddy (Rip) had "The Man" printed on his shirt. Rip, who was always more than happy to tell you how great he was, wore the name with pride. (We actually went on to become league champs that year. I guess there's a fine line between cockiness and confidence?)

Yep, there's a nickname for just about everyone. What's yours?

kw

* http://kensmouthpiece.blogspot.com/2010/09/us-gypsum-spatman-era.html