Hanging Out With The Amish

On Monday, Tina and I spent the day in Lancaster, Pennsylvania. We make the short trek up there every couple years to see if anything has changed with the Amish. This year, we decided to stay overnight. I got a great deal on a hotel which was formerly a cork factory, of all things.

As we made out way into town around early afternoon, we stopped off at a shopping village in Intercourse. This is place is a "touristy"place where people are fooled into thinking that they're buying authentic Amish products. But in reality, most of the stuff here is likely mass-produced is an overseas sweatshop. But if buying a "I ♥ Intercourse" t-shirt makes a person happy, who am I to stand in the way?

After walking around for about an hour, we were getting rather parched. There were plenty of places to buy a lemonade. But I'm not much of a lemonade guy. So, Tina says, "Hey Ken, do you want to walk over to that restaurant and grab an appetizer and a couple of beers?" That sounded like a great plan to me, so we pointed ourselves in the direction of the Kling House. When we walked in, we told the hostess that we were just planning on grabbing a beer and an appetizer. She informed us that the restaurant did not serve beer because it was a dry town. Tina and I both looked at one another and simultaneously said, "A dry town? Are you you kidding me?" It was like one of those old Daffy Duck "Sufferin' Succotash" moments.

Anyway, the hostess is looking at us as if we're a couple of refugees from Alcohol Anonymous. She then informs us that the Lancaster Winery is in an adjacent building and they sometimes offered wine tastings. We thanked her for the advice and headed out. A short time later, we found ourselves passing by the Lancaster Winery building. So, I think you can figure out what we did.

We entered the small shop and were greeted by a nice man. He showed us a wine list and told us we could either do a tasting of their product line or we could just order a full glass. Tina opted for the tasting and went for the glass. I'm not much of a wine guy but I occasionally like a glass of red wine. So, went for a glass their Merlot. The wine rep was very knowledgeable and enthusiastic about his products. He laughed when we told him about the "dry town" story. He pointed out that he was in here selling wine, so the town couldn't be that dry. I tried my best to mask my deficient wine IQ as I discussed tannins and residual alcohol with the guy. Our brief stop in the wine shop was quite enjoyable. After settling up and buying a couple of bottles to take home, we ventured back out to the general population.

A passing storm had hit the village briefly while we were inside. But it had since given way to a burst of bright sunshine. There was a bustling of activity as we mixed in with the crowd. Walking along the main street, we would occasionally hear the clopping of horseshoes in the distance. Before long, we would see an Amish buggy appear. Passing hoards of curious tourists, the "driver" of the buggy would generally ignore them as he kept his eyes concentrated on the road ahead. The abundance of Amish travel in the town was made evident by the scattering of horse manure along the road.

Instinctively, I'm always wanting to snap a photo to capture these moments. But the Amish generally frown on people taking their picture. I can respect that, so the images will have to reside in my head instead of on my SD card.

I also saw children and young women riding these small scooters. Unlike some of the modern scooters today, these scooters had no electric or gas motors. Instead, they were propelled by leg power alone. On a hot summer day, it looked a bit peculiar to see a woman in a long black and white dress kicking her scooter down Main Street. But perhaps the strangest scene was when I saw a baby riding in the basket of one the scooters. The kid couldn't have been more than 18 months old and here he was sitting up in the basket as his young mother propelled them down the busy street.

As we took everything in, Tina says, "What a way to live life. These people don't have all of the distractions and chaos of the 'regular' world. Wouldn't you want to be Amish?"

I don't know, maybe she was feeling the effects of the wine. But I looked at her like she was crazy and blurted out, "Hell, no!"

Now, I have to admit that I don't know a whole lot about the Amish way of life. But there's no way that I would want to confine myself to their restrictions. I'm not judging. I'm just saying that I like to indulge in the pleasures of life (beer, an occasional burst of profanity, a Sopranos marathon on HBO, etc).

When I don't completely understand someone, I like to talk to them. Personally, I think the world would be a much better place if more of us took this approach, but that's another story. But I would love to hang out with a couple of Amish guys and see what makes them tick. I hear the Mennonites are a bit more progressive in terms of the modern world. So, maybe I could start there. My knowledge of the Amish is pretty much limited to what I learned from watching "Witness". Sitting down with a couple of Mennonites over a couple of beers would be something that I would really enjoy.

With this being said, I can certainly respect the hard work and dedication that comes with the Amish way of life. For instance, I would love to see those guys "raise" a barn. As we entered town on Monday, we saw a recently constructed barn. To envision the Amish constructing this thing with only hand tools was fascinating. This brings me to something that I'd like to add something to my bucket list. One day, I'd like to take a fold-up chair and a cooler of beer to one of these barn raising events. I'd sit front and center so I could really take it all in. I would tip my beer at them as I occasionally shout, "Lookin' good, fellas!" Doesn't that sound like a great way to spend an afternoon?

As we finished up our stay in Lancaster yesterday, we stopped off at the Central Market. This place was located in a busy area of downtown. I expected to see a lot of bearded men, clad in black and white, along the busy street. But, surprisingly, I saw none. It was actually similar to a modern city. We walked into the crowded market where people were lined up at the various counters to buy meats and vegetables. Many of the stands were managed by Amish women. I find the women to be much friendlier than the men. But this is just my observation. Tina was fascinated with the variety of fresh produce. But to me, you see one bunch of kale, you've seen them all. But I hung in there with her as she gathered up several bags of vegetables and at least two pounds of freshly cut bacon.

As we made our through the old part of town on our way home, we passed several Amish horse buggies. And in the distance, you could see Amish farmers working in the fields along the road. Men, horses and mules were the only farm equipment that you see in these parts. The absence of the familiar green John Deere tractor is somewhat profound. But the Amish like to keep things simple. We give the town of Lancaster one last wave goodbye as we head back home to our convenient, modern lives......

kw