Remembering Evelyn

I was first introduced to Evelyn as a teenager. My best friend at the time happened to be her nephew. And we would sometimes drop by her house for a spontaneous visit. Evelyn was always very welcoming, and I always enjoyed our visits. Tina revealed to me recently that her mom had once said to her, "I really like Ken. I would love to see you guys get together." Well, it didn't happen immediately. But we did eventually get together. 

When Tina and I got married, Evelyn welcomed me into the family and treated me like her own son. She was a wonderful person, and we would go on to have many years of good times and fond memories. I'd like to share some of those memories with you today... 

It's no secret that Evelyn liked to shop. When she worked at BJ's Wholesale Club years ago, she would always make a predictable run through the store after each shift. I'm convinced that she spent more money than she made there each week. The trunk of her Toyota Camry was always loaded up with an over-abundance of merchandise. She would justify it by telling how little she paid for everything. And immediately after giving you the lowdown on the price, she would always follow up with, “And that’s cheap!”

 I remember a time when Tina and I took Evelyn to Ocean City for a few days. Tina had warned me that, one of those days, we would have to take her mom shopping at the outlets in nearby Rehoboth Beach. I tried my best to get out of it. But Tina wasn't having any parts of it. She said, "Hey, if I'm getting roped into it, so are you!" 

So. off we went to the outlets. As we made our way into Delaware, I started to think, "Ah, this might not be so bad. I mean, how long can someone really spend shopping?" Boy, was I about to find out!

Evelyn spent the next few hours looking through every shelf in every store. It was almost like she was taking inventory. After she accumulated a few bags, she would hand them to me, and I would run them out to the car. And then she would go into a new store to start the process all over. I whispered to Tina, "What the hell is she buying? 

Tina rolled her eyes and said, "Everything!"

I felt instant relief when Evelyn finally came out of the last store. She smiled at me and asked, "Are you having a good time?" 

I did what any good son-in-law would do in this situation: I lied. I said, "Oh, yeah. This really wasn't so bad". 

But to my horror, she followed up with, "Good. How about we stop and get some lunch before we hit the next outlet?"

My jaw dropped. "There's a next outlet?", I reluctantly asked.

"Yes, right over there", she replied as she pointed to shopping center on the other side of the highway. 

So, we ate lunch and then proceeded into round two of the shopping excursion. Conveniently, my Honda Accord had a limited amount of storage space. We finally reached a point where the trunk was completely full, so we started to pack bags into the back seat. I eventually had to break the news to Evelyn that we were pretty much at full capacity. I reminded her that we still had to save room for our luggage on our trip home. She replied, "Oh, we can ship our luggage back home. It's no big deal."

Fortunately, I wasn't required to go on too many of these shopping sprees. That duty went to Evelyn's beloved sister, Freddie. The two of them would meet up for lunch at least once a week and then wreak havoc on the local shopping centers.

Ok, moving on...

Years ago, I used to really like A&W Diet Cream Soda. Well, when Evelyn found out about it, she bought a few 12-packs and stocked her entire refrigerator with it. She was very thoughtful in that way. Well, one day I'm sitting at the kitchen counter when Karl (my father-in-law) goes to the refrigerator to get a drink. He was hoping for a traditional Pepsi. But all he sees are these Diet Cream Sodas. He holds up a can and asks, ""Hey Evelyn, what the hell is this?"

 She instantly snapped, "Oh, put that back, Karl. Those are for Ken."

Karl shoots me a dirty look and mumbled to himself. I just giggled and said, "Relax, Karl. If you want one, help yourself. Really, I don't mind." 

Of course, this only made him more upset and he said, "Can you at least tell her that you like regular Pepsi or Coors Light? Then maybe I'll be able to find something that I like in here next time."

I wound up drinking so much of that Diet Cream Soda that I eventually got sick of it. I didn’t want to seem ungrateful, but I had to tell Evelyn to stop buying it.

And then, short time later, I went on one of these high protein diets. One day, Evelyn sees me eating a can of sardines. Well, you can guess what happened next…

 Evelyn was also a very good cook. I can remember gathering over her house for Sunday dinner. She would make enough food to serve an army. But it was always delicious. She made these spareribs that were out of this world. She would also make these spicy Italian sausages every Christmas. With beads of sweat rolling across my forehead, I would devour these things like a hungry lion. I knew I would pay for it later, but I really didn't care. They were that good.

 Evelyn and I could talk about practically anything, including politics and religion. I can remember having many spirited debates with her through the years. The funny thing was that we would sometimes be 180 degrees apart on a particular subject. We would spend a half hour going back and forth. And then at some point, for some unknown reason, she would take my side of the argument. I would say, "Evelyn, that's what I'm saying."

 She would respond, "Exactly." It would drive me nuts.

 A few years ago, a bunch of us were planning on going to the local Greene Turtle to celebrate my birthday. Knowing that we would be consuming some adult refreshments, Evelyn offered to drive. And that ride was quite adventurous….

 On the drive out of the neighborhood, she hit every speed bump with reckless abandon. The first one was especially painful because I didn’t see it coming. My head bounced off the ceiling and I landed back in the seat with a loud thud. I regained consciousness just in time to prepare for the next one. I guess she thought that you were supposed to speed over speed bumps, I don’t know. By the time we got to the restaurant, I felt like I just went ten rounds with Mike Tyson.

 Well, the night went on and we did indeed celebrate. The alcohol did an adequate job of numbing our battle wounds from the ride in. And we slowly transitioned into a state of drunken obnoxious. And then, unexpectedly, a Karaoke DJ started setting up his equipment. At some point, I found myself with the microphone in my hand, trying to sing "Thank God I'm a Country Boy". It must have been brutal to anyone within earshot. Feeling somewhat embarrassed afterward, I said, "Evelyn, you don't have to wait around for us. We can take an Uber home. I feel bad putting you through this torture."

 She laughed and said, "No, I don't mind staying at all. I haven't had this much fun in years."

I tried to talk her into doing a karaoke version of "All the Single Ladies”, but she wouldn't bite.

Evelyn had been a tough and resilient person throughout her whole life. When things needed to be handled, she took action. When the family's house burned down years ago, Evelyn didn't sit back and feel sorry for herself. She took a job working in the meat department of a local grocery store and continued to work until she retired from BJ's years later. Working in those refrigerated rooms wasn't easy, especially as she got older. But she did it anyway and never complained.

 When Evelyn finally retired, things didn't really get any easier for her. Karl's health had real taken a downturn and Evelyn became his full-time caregiver. She did all of this while fighting her own bout with cancer. I always admired her dedication and loyalty during those trying times. She was a strong woman who I respected and loved.

 Evelyn will finally get some well-deserved rest. And Karl will be reunited with his "Ebby".

Evelyn, if you can hear me up there, please buy Karl a can of regular Pepsi and tell him that it's from me. I miss you both and I will never forget you.

kw