Remembering Virginia

My earliest memories of Virginia take me all the way back to my childhood. Virginia was my mom’s cousin, and they were very close. We would get together regularly at summer cookouts and holiday dinners.

In those early years, I must admit, I was quite intimidated by Virginia. She was so intelligent and always seemed so sophisticated. And I was just an uncultured kid trying to find my way. But Virginia always took the time to talk with me. She would offer advice and encouragement and always left me with a positive vibe.

I can remember gathering at her Locust Point home every Christmas. With our family growing bigger, we would sometimes have to squeeze into the furniture like packed can of sardines. The stairs to the second floor often doubled as overflow seating.

Everyone would engage in random conversations until Virginia eventually rang the dinner bell. At that point, we would all line up to retrieve our feast from the back kitchen. Virginia was a great cook, and her Christmas dinners were always something special.

Virginia’s husband, Ken, could not always be there as he was a paramedic and was often requited to work holidays. But I really enjoyed those times when he was there. He was a big man with a very deep voice, but he was as gentle as a Teddy Bear. The playful banter between he and Virginia was always fun to watch. They made the perfect couple. Another thing that I remember is that Virginia never referred to him as Ken or Kenny. It was always Kenneth. He was a good man and unfortunately left us way too soon.

Virginia also had a dog that she adored. He was a Samoyed and he looked like a huge, white fluffy dandelion. He simply went by the name of Teddy and not Theodore as you might expect.

As the years went on, Virginia and I became very close. We would meet up regularly every Tuesday at my parent’s house for family dinner night. There, we would catch up on current events and try to solve all the problems of the world. But at precisely 7 o’clock, we would turn our attention to the TV and watch Jeopardy. It came as no surprise that Virginia knew most of the answers. She was so smart.

About 10 years ago, I invited her out to join my trivia team on Wednesday nights. She enjoyed it so much that she wound up playing with us almost every week. She was a welcome addition to our group. She was not only very intelligent, but she was also a lot of fun. She instantly bonded with all my friends and everyone looked forward to seeing her each week.

Our trivia host and good friend, Ray, affectionately referred to her as “Aunt V”.

Virginia could also be very competitive. If another team happened to beat us, there could only be one possible reason: They cheated. 

There was this one team that used to sit in the far back corner of the room. And they would occasionally beat us. Virginia was sure that they were cheating. So, I tried to convince her that they were very smart, and they probably beat us fair and square. To this, Virginia quickly replied, “Bullshit. Let them come out of that corner and play in front of God and country. And then we’ll see how smart they really are!”

Virginia and I would often discuss personal issues that either of us might be going through at the time. I would lay out my whole dilemma and then I would wait to get her feedback. Her initial response was always the same. She would look at you for a moment and then, in a Tony Soprano-like way, she would ask, “So, what are you gonna do about it?”

I would reply, “I don’t really know. I was hoping to get some advice from you.”

She would respond back with, “Hmm…” 

And then after taking a moment to process it, she would say, “Well, here’s what I would do…”

And no matter the situation, her advice was always solid. At times, she could be brutally honest. But that’s one of the things I loved about her. She didn’t candy coat anything. She just told you the way it was.

Oddly, for as sophisticated as Virginia was, she would occasionally let out a loud belch. I asked her about it one time and she explained that it’s a compliment to the chef. It means that you enjoyed the food. I remember the first time she did this around my trivia team. Feeling the need to address the surprised look on everyone’s faces, I whispered, “She likes the food.”

She was also very outspoken on politics. We had many long conversations across the political spectrum. Sometimes, when a major news story broke, Virginia would call me. I would pick up the phone and answer with the standard “Hello”. Well, Virginia would skip the traditional salutation and immediately hit me with, “So, what do you think of this bullshit?”

From there, we would talk into the late hours of the evening. She was so in tune with everything that was going on. I always came out the conversation learning something new.

During the football season, we would often gather at my house on Sundays to watch the Ravens. Virginia would show up in her purple jersey and with a big bottle of Pinot Grigio. While the rest of us were knocking back beers, she would casually sip on her glass of white wine. Like I mentioned before, she was always a little more sophisticated than the rest of us. When the game was over and party wound down, Virginia was usually one of the last people to leave.

Whenever we planned a party, Virginia would always ask if she could bring something. Knowing that she made an awesome Key Lime Pie, I would often ask her to make one. I remember one time she told me that told me that she was having a really hard time finding any Key Limes. So, I said, “Just use a regular lime. What difference does it make?”

She quickly pointed out that, while you might put a “regular” lime in a bottle of Corona, you never put one in a real Key Lime Pie. So, not willing to compromise the integrity of her Key Lime Pie, she made a coconut cream pie instead. And like everything else she made; it was delicious. But I didn’t dare ask if she used regular coconuts.

Although Virginia was extremely intelligent, she struggled a bit when it came to modern technology. I talked her into buying a laptop computer several years ago. I helped her set it up and gave her a brief overview of how it all worked. But it wasn’t long before I would start receiving weekly phone calls about her latest computer issue. I became her own personal Geek Squad. I would fix one thing and then a day or two later, I’d get a phone call about another issue. I would explain that these were all minor problems and I suggested that she use Google to find out how to fix it herself. She thought about it for a few seconds and said, “Nah, I’ll just call you.”

Virginia was quite the reader too. As her collection of books continued to grow, her house began to resemble a small library. She never parted with any of them. And, for some reason, she always signed the first page of each book. Whenever she found one to be especially good, she would recommend it to me. Years ago, she turned me on to John Grisham. I think I’ve read everyone of his books since. She also really like Tom Clancy. If you’re not familiar with his books, they are quite thick. It would take me six months to get through one of his stories. But Virginia could breeze through it in a few days.

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From early on, Virginia was a person who could light up a room by simply walking into it. She had movie-star good looks and a personality to match. She would always greet you with a warm smile and initiate the conversation by asking, “So, what’s new?”

I will miss our long conversations, but I am so grateful for every word that we exchanged.

My world will, no doubt, be a little colder without her in it. But her colorful memories will always warm my heart.

Virginia, I will never forget you. You were one of the most incredible people I’ve ever met. You encouraged me and gave me confidence. You brought me humor and joy. But most importantly, you inspired me to become a better person. 

I will end this by simply saying, “Thank you”.

 

kw