Airport Scannings and Pat-Downs

In the never ending adventures of airport security, there's now a backlash of opposition to the TSA's body scanning and pat-down procedures. On the surface, neither of these things seem to be a big deal. After all, we have to have some type of security screening process at the airports, right? So, if a quick body scan can keep the passengers moving along, what's the big deal?

But not so fast......

Keep in mind, the scanners are basically large x-ray machines. This means that they emit radiation. So, even though it's a relatively small dose, what potential harm does this present for frequent fliers? The director of the Center of Radiological Research at Columbia University has said that skin cancer would be the primary concern. Definitely something to think about.....

Also, some people might not want to let it all hang out for a mystery TSA screener to ogle over in the back room. I can understand this. For instance, say a celebrity walks through the scanner. Now, their naked image is stored on a hard drive somewhere. And although we're led to believe that it's only stored temporarily, you can bet your naked ass that someone will eventually get a hold of this image and market it to the National Enquirer.

Of course, you can decide not to go through the body scanner. This involves "opting out" and getting a physical pat-down by one of the intellectually challenged TSA agents. The new pat-down procedures require the agents to aggressively probe your most intimate of areas. So basically, the ladies get a free mammogram and the guys won't have to put of that dreaded prostate exam any longer! I guess it's kind of like getting laser eye surgery at the shopping mall, only more erotic.

And as the politicians like to say, what about our kids? Do you really want some TSA moron groping your teenage daughter? As a parent, I couldn't accept this.

I recently caught a flight out of Denver. While I was making my way through the screening line at DIA, I noticed a group of TSA agents gathering around an old lady. I know it's social taboo to talk about a woman's age, but this lady must have been about 90 years old! She looked absolutely petrified as a female TSA agent delivered what looked like karate chops to the elderly woman's arms and legs. I was really starting to wonder if a Rodney King style beatdown might be coming next. As I made my way through to scanner and into the terminal, they were still working on the poor lady....

And you're going to love this. Yesterday I was reading an article about how Muslim groups are up in arms about the new screening procedures. They say that it's against Islamic teaching for Muslims to be seen naked by other men and women. (Hmm, I wonder if it's against Islamic teachings to blow up planes and saw non-believer's heads off?). And for Muslim women who wear head scarves, CAIR (Council for American-Islamic Relations) has some specific instructions. If a woman should be picked for a secondary screening after going through the metal detector, she should only be searched about the head and neck area. The body is off limits. And these women should have the option to pat their own scarf down. WTF!

Muslims should be treated like any other passenger. If they choose not to oblige, it's quite simple: they don't have to fly. None of us want to go through any of this crap, but unfortunately it's now part of the world that we live in. And let's face it, as much as Whoopi Goldberg might disagree, Muslim extremists seem to be the ones who have a fascination with blowing stuff up. It sure ain't the Amish!

Hey, I have a good idea for airport security. How about making ALL passengers walk through a gate that will detonate ANY explosives. If you're clean, you quickly move through. If you're not, all I can say is "Clean up in aisle five!"

KW