Can I See Some ID?

Ok, here's the story.....

I stop off at a local Walgreen's earlier today to pick up some cold medicine. Everything seems good. I'm cruising the aisles for various other items that I need (5-hour energy shots, sleeping pills, Red Bull, etc.). Eventually, I get to the cold medicine aisle where a small crowd is lumped together. So, now I have to stand on my tip-toes and do the bob-and-weave to see exactly where my preferred flu medicine is. I finally ask a guy in the front row to hand me a box of Tylenol Cold & Flu gel-caps.

So far, so good......

Walking through the store, I drop several of my items (someone always seems to hide those plastic shopping baskets when I decide to go shopping!). Somehow, I manage to make it to the check-out line. The woman in front of me is having a dispute with the cashier over the price of a large Hershey bar. Is it $1.99 or $2.49? That seems to be the million dollar question. I feel like paying for it myself, just to break the stalemate. (I was rolling with about three hours sleep and was a bit cranky).

After the Hershey bar summit finally comes to a conclusion, I drop my items on the counter. I'm waiting to pay, but the cashier is staring at me like I've done something wrong. So, like an imbecile, I say, "Can I help you?"

She replies, "Can I see your ID?"

I'm confused. First off, I didn't buy any alcoholic beverages. In fact, the only alcohol that Walgreen's even sells is the rubbing variety. And besides, I'm pretty confident that my gray hair and seasoned attitude make me a shoe-in for the 21 and older crowd.

Sounding like Vinny Barbarino, I respond, "My ID? For what?"

She just looks down at the scattered 5-Hour Energy, Gatorade, Ny-Quil and Cold & Flu gels. For what seemed like an eternity, she said nothing while shifting her gaze between me and my items. I have to admit, it probably didn't look good. But hey, I'm an adult and plus......... I have a cold!! But nonetheless, I now feel like I'm standing in line at the methadone clinic.

She then proceeds to tell me that the new rule says to card anyone under 40 who "tries" to purchase cold medicine. She explains that people "make drugs out of this stuff". My first thoughts are, "Aren't they already drugs? And I guess it's ok to 'make drugs out of this stuff' as long as you're over 40?"

Then, just as I'm trying to sort it all out, my new cashier friend delivers the coup de grace......

She takes a long, hard look at me and says, "Actually, I guess you do look old enough." Now, aside from making me feel like a crack addict, she insults my looks. And pouring salt on the wound, the people in the line start to giggle. Don't get me wrong, I know I look my age. But, all things considered, I certainly don't need to be reassured of it at this very moment!

I can feel the crowd staring at me as I swipe my credit card. Feeling like a circus clown, I think about throwing in a fake twitch or two for good measure. But I think better of it. The cashier finally deposits all of my items into a plastic bag. No more pleasantries, I just grab the bag and go. I can't help but feel like I was the topic of conversation after I left.

So now, I have a bruised ego to go along with my flu-like symptoms. Thank you very much, Walgreen's!

KW