Holy mackerel! Is this really breaking news? Doesn't it get cold every winter? The news reporters are actually instructing people on how to dress! What are we, five years old?? I'm waiting for them to start showing the scene from A Christmas Story where the kid gets his tongue stuck to the pole...."Folks, as harmless at it seems, please do NOT try this at home. There have been several reported injuries already. We don't need any more! Save your tongue for jello shots!"
I'm watching all of the school closings and delays scroll across the bottom of my TV screen. Really? We're closing schools now because it's cold? Were they holding class in the courtyard this week? I guess I shouldn't be surprised. These days, it seems that they start closing the schools if rain is in the forecast. In case anyone forgot, school building have progressed quite a bit over the years. They actually have roofs and heat now.
Watching the reporters interviewing random people out in front of the Royal Farm store really cracks me up. The news reporter will ask,"Excuse me sir, how is the weather out here this morning?" I'd love to hear one of these random people respond, "You're out here with me, numb-nuts. Why don't you tell me how f*ckin'' cold it is?!?"
And what is the "polar vortex'? That 's all I've been hearing about over the past few days. For the past ten years, we've been hearing about global warming. Now. we've got a polar vortex. And speaking of global warming, where is Al Gore these days?
Watching all of this hype has me almost afraid to open up my door. Will I hit with a blast of frigid air that will instantly freeze my cheerful face? Or when I eventually venture out into the vast wilderness and make my way to my car, will I be sucked into the polar vortex to be never heard from again? That would really suck!
Watching all of this hype has me almost afraid to open up my door. Will I hit with a blast of frigid air that will instantly freeze my cheerful face? Or when I eventually venture out into the vast wilderness and make my way to my car, will I be sucked into the polar vortex to be never heard from again? That would really suck!
And don't even get me started on the wind chill. "Although it's 10 degrees, the windchill makes it feel like it's 120 below!" Kind of makes you shiver just thinking about it, huh?
And have you ever noticed how the weathermen transition into mathematicians? They say something like, "Today, it's going to be 15 degrees with a windchill of minus 5. However, on Sunday, we'll see a warming trend and the temperature will go up to a balmy 38 degrees. That's a 43 degree swing folks!" Isaac Newton and Albert Einstein had nothing on these guys!
And have you ever noticed how the weathermen transition into mathematicians? They say something like, "Today, it's going to be 15 degrees with a windchill of minus 5. However, on Sunday, we'll see a warming trend and the temperature will go up to a balmy 38 degrees. That's a 43 degree swing folks!" Isaac Newton and Albert Einstein had nothing on these guys!
Yes folks, it is indeed cold out there. If you have to venture out today, here's some good, yet practical advice: Wear a heavy coat and don't stop to answer any stupid questions by news reporters!
kw
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