There were already several inches of white stuff on the ground as I took the entrance ramp onto the Baltimore beltway yesterday afternoon. Over 30 miles from home, I knew I was in for another profanity-laced adventure. Approaching the entry lane, the cars in front of me were determined to drive as slow as mechanically possible. In fact, if these cars were going any slower, they would have been going backwards. I felt like hitting the gas and bumping the car in front of me. But I figured the guy would be a prick about it and expect me to get out and examine the "damage" with him. We've seen this before, two cars lightly bump each other and the two drivers spend the next 30 minutes rubbing dirt off the bumpers in search of the "elusive scratch". Life is too short for such trivial bullshit. Plus, I really didn't feel like getting wet from the blowing snow, so I let it go.
Once I got onto 695, the top speed was about 25 mph. There was very limited traffic on the usually busy beltway. I decided to see how treacherous the road really was. So, I accelerated as I approached a bend in the road. I could feel my car sliding a little, so I knew that I should slow it down to more manageable speed. Sitting in a roadside ditch while other drivers gawked at me wasn't my idea of a good time. Speaking of which, I saw several abandoned cars parked at unfriendly traffic angles on the shoulder of the road.
A driver in front of me had his driver's side window down with his arm hanging out. As I got closer, I saw that he was wiping his windshield with a handheld dust broom. I've seen a lot of things on the beltway, but this was definitely a first. I desperately wanted to snap a picture but, under the circumstances, I figured it was a bad idea.
A few miles later, I glance over to the other side of the beltway. I see several salt trucks lined up in an angle formation in adjacent lanes. They had all lanes of traffic blocked as they cleared the snow and slush from the road. I'm sure the drivers who were stuck behind them were pissed, but it looked pretty cool from were I was sitting. It was like a cavalry of state government workers.
Driving along, I approached a large truck in the lane to the right of me. One of the rear wheel kicked up a heavy load of road slush and propelled it directly towards me. It collided with my windshield like a sack of potatoes. If I had been driving one of those tiny Smart Cars, I would have been history!
As I finally made my way closer to home, I realized that I needed some gas for my snow blower. Since I don't have a gas can with me, I stop off a local Home Depot to buy one. As I enter the store, I see that there is hardly anyone in there. I assume that this is due to the fact that they don't sell bread, milk or toilet paper. I see an employee restocking a supply of snow shovels. I never quite understood this. I've had the same snow shovel for the past 20 years. Do other people trade their old one for a new one each year? Since the stores have such a hard time keeping these things in stock, it sure seems that way.
I purchase my gas can and a bag of beef jerky and back out into frigid air. I wind up stopping at a local Exxon to fill up my gas can. I follow a woman towards the only to vacant pumps. Defying logic, instead of pulling forward to the front pump, she stops at the rear pump. Now, I'm stuck waiting for her inconsiderate ass. As she exits her vehicle, I toot my horn and turn my palms up in an attempt to give her the "WTF" signal. She ignores me and goes into the station to pay. I drive around the stupid bitch's car and back into the pump in front of her. It took everything that had to keep from pelting her upside the head with a snowball.
As I got back on the road, I got stuck behind a snow plow. The line of traffic behind the plow was going at a breakneck speed of about 5 mph. This made my final two miles seem like Chinese water torture! I finally pulled up into my driveway and breathed a quiet sigh of relief.
I don't know how you feel about it, but for me, spring can't get here fast enough!
kw
Once I got onto 695, the top speed was about 25 mph. There was very limited traffic on the usually busy beltway. I decided to see how treacherous the road really was. So, I accelerated as I approached a bend in the road. I could feel my car sliding a little, so I knew that I should slow it down to more manageable speed. Sitting in a roadside ditch while other drivers gawked at me wasn't my idea of a good time. Speaking of which, I saw several abandoned cars parked at unfriendly traffic angles on the shoulder of the road.
A driver in front of me had his driver's side window down with his arm hanging out. As I got closer, I saw that he was wiping his windshield with a handheld dust broom. I've seen a lot of things on the beltway, but this was definitely a first. I desperately wanted to snap a picture but, under the circumstances, I figured it was a bad idea.
A few miles later, I glance over to the other side of the beltway. I see several salt trucks lined up in an angle formation in adjacent lanes. They had all lanes of traffic blocked as they cleared the snow and slush from the road. I'm sure the drivers who were stuck behind them were pissed, but it looked pretty cool from were I was sitting. It was like a cavalry of state government workers.
Driving along, I approached a large truck in the lane to the right of me. One of the rear wheel kicked up a heavy load of road slush and propelled it directly towards me. It collided with my windshield like a sack of potatoes. If I had been driving one of those tiny Smart Cars, I would have been history!
As I finally made my way closer to home, I realized that I needed some gas for my snow blower. Since I don't have a gas can with me, I stop off a local Home Depot to buy one. As I enter the store, I see that there is hardly anyone in there. I assume that this is due to the fact that they don't sell bread, milk or toilet paper. I see an employee restocking a supply of snow shovels. I never quite understood this. I've had the same snow shovel for the past 20 years. Do other people trade their old one for a new one each year? Since the stores have such a hard time keeping these things in stock, it sure seems that way.
I purchase my gas can and a bag of beef jerky and back out into frigid air. I wind up stopping at a local Exxon to fill up my gas can. I follow a woman towards the only to vacant pumps. Defying logic, instead of pulling forward to the front pump, she stops at the rear pump. Now, I'm stuck waiting for her inconsiderate ass. As she exits her vehicle, I toot my horn and turn my palms up in an attempt to give her the "WTF" signal. She ignores me and goes into the station to pay. I drive around the stupid bitch's car and back into the pump in front of her. It took everything that had to keep from pelting her upside the head with a snowball.
As I got back on the road, I got stuck behind a snow plow. The line of traffic behind the plow was going at a breakneck speed of about 5 mph. This made my final two miles seem like Chinese water torture! I finally pulled up into my driveway and breathed a quiet sigh of relief.
I don't know how you feel about it, but for me, spring can't get here fast enough!
kw
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