Jennifer Interupted

Every now and then, we all have one of those dreams. You know, the one where you're in a euphoric situation that seems too good to be true. And just when things are getting progressively better, for some unknown reason, you wake up!

Well, this happened to me the other night and I have to tell ya, I'm still a little upset over it. This is how it all went down....

In my dream, I'm driving along the highway in an exceptionally good mood. My left arm hangs out of the driver's side window as I'm met with a constant blast of fresh air. The local surroundings disappear in my rear view mirror as I gun the engine. I reach down to turn up the radio. The heavy drumbeat from Led Zeppelin's "When The Levee Breaks" seems to be in perfect sync with the sound of the passing telephone poles. As good as things are right now, they're about to get a whole lot better.....

As I pull into what seems like a ghost town, I glance over to the passenger seat which I swore was empty just a few minutes ago. But to my surprise, a beautiful woman has magically appeared. Although her head is turned, I feel as though I recognize her. She slowly turns towards me and says, "So, what do you want to do?" Before she even gets the first word out, I realize that it's actually Jennifer Lopez sitting next to me!

The funny thing is that it was like I had known her forever. Responding to her question, I said, "I'm up for anything. Any suggestions?"

"Why don't you pull over?" she says with a slight smile on her face.

(Before I go any further, I happened to be a single guy in my J.Lo dream. So, for the record, no infidelity rules were broken here. So, there's no need to send my name into Maury Povich.)

Anyway.......

I fulfill her request and pull into a deserted parking lot. Before I can comprehend what's going on, Jennifer Lopez lunges over the center console and starts making out with me. It was crazy but it seemed so real. I felt like the next American Idol! Things were really getting hot and heavy when all of a sudden, I wake up to the sound of one of our cats hocking up a hairball! You've got to be kidding me! My one chance with Jennifer Lopez and this cat is determined to screw it up! Of all the times that this could have happened, it had to happen now?

As I desperately tried to ignore the hacking sounds coming from the foot of the bed, I squeezed my eyelids shut in a futile effort to resume the dream. Nudging the convulsing cat with my foot, I even attempted to take a power nap. But it was of no use. Jenny from the block was gone from my life forever.....

I sat up in bed with dumbfounded look on my face as I listened to the cat work out the hairball. The commotion eventually woke Tina up. As she rubbed her eyes, she asked, "What was that noise?"

I replied, "That was your stupid ass cat!" I walked out the bedroom shaking my head as I mumbled a few more four-letter words.

As I gathered up my senses in the kitchen and sipped a cup of coffee, Tina came downstairs and joined me. She said that I seemed a little grumpy. Really? So, then I proceeded to tell her the story about my dream. Her response? She laughed so hard, I thought I was going to have to perform the Heimlich Maneuver! To add to the drama, the cat struts into the kitchen and starts begging me for food. I say, "He must be out of his f*cking mind!" Of course, this brings yet another round of belly-laughs from my unsympathetic wife. Meanwhile, I'm standing there trying to figure out what's so damned funny.

Just another day in the life.......

kw