Let The Sochi Games Begin

Tonight will mark the official opening of the 2014 Winter Olympics in Sochi, Russia. Aside from the obvious security concerns, there have been plenty of other interesting tidbits. For instance, there has been recorded cases of video cameras being found in the showers of local hotel rooms. At least one official explained that the purpose of the cameras are to monitor water usage. Yeah, right! You know there's at least one of those officials salivating over the thought of watching a figure skater lather herself up. Hey, if Maria Sharapova happens to check into one of those hotel rooms, I'm gonna need someone to text me. Thanks....

I hear the TSA is banning liquids on direct flights from the US to Russia. Toothpaste is included in the banned substances. I dunno, can you even buy toothpaste in Russia?

Also, there was an initial controversy about homosexual athletes going to Sochi. You see, Russia doesn't really take to kindly to gay folks. Discrimination is widely practiced against gays in Russia. In fact, up until 1993, it was against the law to engage in homosexual activity, even in your own home! So, in response, there have been various forms of protest from gay support groups. Although I don't think the Olympics is the appropriate place for a Gay Pride parade, I also don't think gays should be victims of discrimination. To all of the gay athletes out there, if you really want to get Vladimir Putin's panties in a bunch, just go out there and win the Gold.

By the way, the mayor of Sochi insists that there are no gay people in the city. But apparently, there are two gay nightclubs in the book. Hmm....

There has also been an issue of controlling the countless stray dogs that wander around the Olympic village. The stray dog problem is so severe that Olympic organizers called in a "pest control" company to "dispose" of the creatures. As expected, animals rights groups aren't real happy about this.

Keep in mind, the last time that Russia (then part of the Soviet Union) hosted the Olympics was at the 1980 Summer Games in Moscow. Yes, the Soviets, led by Russia and East Germany, won the majority of the medals. But the United States and several other countries boycotted the Moscow Olympics.

As for the events in this year's winter games, there is a total of 98. They are derived from seven basic sports. Of course, there's the familiar sports such as figure skating, ice hockey and skiing. But the one that always interests me is the curling competition. It amuses me to see two guys with push brooms guiding a large stone down a sheet of ice. This looks more like a drinking game than an Olympic sport. Interestingly enough, the curling competitions will be held in a building called the Ice Cube.

And what the hell is the Skeleton? Yes, it's actually an Olympic sport. It's more like a sled riding competition. As kids, we used to do this at Garret Park. Little did we know at the time, we could have been contenders!

Along the same line as the Skeleton, how cool would it be to ride in a luge?

There is an official slogan for the Sochi Olympics. It happens to be "Hot. Cool. Yours." The only response that I can come up with is "Whiskey Tango Foxtrot?".

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Best of luck to my fellow Americans. Whether it be gold, silver or bronze, let the medal count be abundant! Let the games begin!

kw