Dumb Smartphone Stories

Today, it's hard to find anyone over the age of five who doesn't have a cell phone. These technological marvels have almost become like another human appendage. Remember the American Express slogan "Don't Leave Home Without It"? Most people feel like that also applies to their cell phone as well. Can you imagine being out in a public place and not having the ability to update your Facebook status? It would be downright devastating!

Have you ever noticed when someone, especially a teenager, happens to lose their cell phone? It's like the world just ended. I was in a convenience store recently when I overheard a conversation between two teenage girls. The one girl, obviously upset, was freaking out about losing her phone. Her friend tried to console her by telling her that it was only a phone. Well, the girl replies, "It's not only a phone. It's my life!"

While I admit that I do like the convenience of my cell phone, I don't particularly like the zombie-like effect that "Smartphones" are having on us. For instance, have you walked through a crowded shopping mall recently? People stroll around staring into their phones as they walk into doors, trashcans and other people. I used to simply move out their way. But should I really have to do this because they're too preoccupied and inconsiderate to look where they're going? I don't think so. So, now I just stand there like a basketball player setting an illegal pick and let them walk right into me. The amazing thing is that some people look at me like I'm the asshole. They don't even apologize! They just look up and then nonchalantly go back to staring at their phone. They seem almost oblivious to the fact that they just walked into another human being.

I went to a movie theater recently. Before the movie started, there was an announcement that explained why using your cell phone during the movie is inconsiderate. At first, I thought it was ridiculous. Everyone knows that it's rude to talk during a movie, right?  I guess I give people too much credit. Because if they don't run the announcement, you know there will be several inconsiderate idiots yapping into their phones during the entire film.

Another thing that drives me crazy with cell phones is how everyone is obsessed with video recording everything. Let's say a person gets hit by a car. Instead of people rushing to the injured person's aid, people will instinctively reach for their cell phones and then proceed to record the poor bastard's agony. Jostling for a closer position, people will say things like, "Aw, man! Look at that bone sticking out of his leg! I can't wait to upload this one to You Tube!"

Somewhat related, I was at a concert last weekend (The band happened to be Great White). It was one of those standing room only shows. Since I happen to be over 6 feet tall, you would think that I'd have a pretty decent view of the stage. However, thanks to everyone's insatiable need to shoot their personal video of the show, my view is now blocked by a high wall of Smartphones. I had to watch the entire performance of "Once Bitten, Twice Shy" from some guy's viewfinder!

And just yesterday, I was reading about two Oklahoma roommates who got into a fight over who's phone had the better operating system (Android vs. Apple). The fight escalated to the point where one of them was eventually stabbed with a broken beer bottle. That's right, these two moron's squared off to defend the honor of their respective Smartphones. And they say that chivalry is dead...


kw