Let It Snow?

So, after Mr. Meteorologist tells us to expect a few flurries, I’ve been watching it snow for the past four hours. The only good thing is that it doesn’t appear to be accumulating on the sidewalks and streets. (For now!)

(By the way, why do weathermen instantly become rock stars whenever there's a little snow?)

I used to like snow when I was a kid. It would often us get out of school for the day. And that was reason enough to appreciate it. It would also allow us to get our sleds out and hit the hills of Garrett Park. And when we got tired of dragging our sleds up the hill, the snow provided us with an endless supply of ammo to throw at passing cars. (As a kid, this got me in more trouble than I care to mention. A strong word of advice: Don’t ever throw a snowball at a police car!)

But I’m an adult now. And as much as I’d still like to hurl a hard-packed snowball at certain individuals, I don’t do it. So, it doesn’t leave much use for the white stuff anymore. I’ll tell you what it does do. It makes my day much more complicated and raises my blood pressure.

I can't belive that people actually wish for this stuff. What good is it? For instance, here am I minding my own business, then BAM! I’ve got eight inches of velvety, white bullshit to shovel off of my sidewalk! I didn’t ask for this! Why should I have to shovel it?

But I know the drill by now. So, I grab my shovel and head out the front door cursing. And inevitably, while I’m breaking my back trying to get rid of this stuff, someone will stop and ask me, “So, do you think we’ll get any more tonight?” Do I look like Norm freggin’ Lewis? How the hell do I know??

After the shoveling is done, I’m usually in a less than good mood. Besides having an aching back, I know I’m going to have to eventually drive in this mess. In this case, it’s not the snow that bothers me as much as my fellow Maryland drivers. I will never understand this. People in this area are certainly no strangers to snow. But as soon as the first flurries begin to fall, everyone (except for me, of course!) suddenly turns into Mr. Magoo! If I had a large truck with a plow, there would be a lot of cars stuck in the roadside ditches. I would simply push them out of my way. You see, I have places to be.

And I hate when the snow appears in the middle of the night. This is usually when I’ll get called in extra early for work. Then I have to deal with an inch of ice on my windshield. Sometimes, I’ll just stand there looking at it, as if it’s just going to magically disappear. After a few minutes, I’ll shake my head and mumble, “I can’t believe this bullshit" as I head back into the house to find my ice scraper.

And don’t even get me started on the massive runs on the grocery stores when snow is in the forecast. I’m totally convinced that the weathermen and the grocery chains are in cahoots. When sales are down, just forecast snow! Problem solved!

Hey, you might think that I’m being a bit ridiculous. But until someone volunteers to shovel my walk, scrape the ice off of my windshield and chauffer me around, I’m going to continue to complain!


KW