Heating Up In Maryland

Over the past week or so, it's been hotter than balls on the east coast, especially where I live, here in Maryland. Although the hot, humid weather might have come a little early this year, I don't understand why everyone overreacts.

Maybe people just act this way in Maryland? I mean, in the winter, when the weatherman predicts snow, everyone around here makes a frantic run for bread, milk and toilet paper as if the end of the world is looming. And when the hot weather eventually rolls around, the same people act as if they're going to melt into butter.

As the mercury climbs towards the triple digit mark, the first sign of panic sets in when you start to hear about the various school closings. Hey, if the schools have no air conditioning, I really have no problem sending the kids home.  But why are we closing all of the county schools? If the kids are in a comfortable climate controlled school room, what difference does it make if it's 100 degrees outside? Is the mere thought of the outside heat detrimental to the learning process of today's youth? I don't know, maybe I'm just a hard-ass......

I attended elementary school back in the 70's at old Baltimore City PS #203. And as you probably guessed, there was no air conditioning. So, on those blistering days in early September and mid-June, we simply had to deal with it. To keep things as comfortable as possible, teachers would often turn the lights off and plug in an oscillating fan. Basically, it would just circulate hot air around the room but it was better than nothing.

When I got into junior high school, it was a similar situation. However, there was a bit of relief found in a group of makeshift buildings behind the main school. For lack of a better word, these were known as the "relocatables". If you were fortunate enough to have a class in one of these buildings, you were blessed with air conditioning. There was always a distinct jealousy between the sweaty students in the old building and the odor-free kids in the relocatables. Personally, I had always wondered how they determined which teachers would get that coveted gig in the relocatables.

................................................................................................................................................................

A few days ago, I was helping a buddy (Rip) move some furniture. Right out of the gate, we had two major challenges: it was 100 degrees and we were moving the stuff between two Baltimore City row houses. For those of you who aren't familiar with these older homes, let me just say that getting large pieces of furniture from one floor to the next isn't so easy. We had to actually push these things through the upstairs windows and lower them to the sidewalk with ropes. It's a wonder one of us didn't get flattened by an airborne dresser!    One of the neighbors was watching us with a little too much interest. I think he was hanging out just so he didn't miss the opportunity to see one of us get squashed.

Once we finally got into the new house, we discovered that taking the windows out wasn't going to be an option. So we attempted, several times, to twist and maneuver these heavy items until somehow, someway, we were able to make the turn from the narrow staircase into the upstairs bedroom. By the time it was over, we were sweating like a couple of pregnant nuns! Keep in mind, that Rip and I are in are mid-40's. And, at least speaking for myself, I'm not in the best shape anymore (unless you consider round a shape). Thank God my son (who is actually in training for an upcoming fight) came along to join the fun. I figured that if Rip & I went into cardiac arrest, at least Ken Jr. would be in good enough shape to call 911.

We headed back to our borrowed pick-up truck with less-than-adequate air conditioning. As Rip and I got into the truck, I was pretty sure that one of us was about to suffer a heat stroke or, at the very least, a mild seizure. We were both sweating like cats in a Chinese restaurant. To make matters worse, I started to hallucinate about a giant bottle of Kiwi-Strawberry Gatorade. To take our minds off of our uncertain fate, we just sat  there and complained about the brutality of the heat and humidity. Rip was pretty drained, so he just resorted to incoherent mumbling while I stuck with my predicable rant of, "It's not even summer yet! This hot weather is bullshit!"

Then, Ken Jr. (who served a year in Iraq) just smiled and said, "Man, this is nothing. Try running around the dessert with body armor in 120 degree heat!"

I guess the Maryland weather isn't so bad after all...........:-)

kw