Baltimore's Phantom Snowstorm

In what I assume was an effort to help grocery stores sell their surplus of bread, milk and toilet paper, the local weathermen got it it dead wrong once again. Depending on who you listened to, the Baltimore area was supposed to get anywhere from three inches to thirty feet of wet snow overnight. Well, they got the wet part right. It's been raining all day and I haven't seen so much as one snow flurry!

It's almost like a cruel joke. I mean, you might be able to pull this crap in a place like Colorado. Out there, people are accustomed to the snow and don't get easily rattled by any ominous storm predictions. Of course, it could also be because half the people are stoned, but that's another story. In Maryland, when people hear that there's going to be even a few inches of the white stuff, they instinctively go into Armageddon mode. Bread, milk, toilet paper, 50 gallons of gas for the generator, a 10-year supply of D-cell batteries, pork rinds, beer, etc.....

I have to admit, I fell for it a little bit this time too. I pulled the snow-blower through the yard and into the garage last night. I bought the thing almost two years ago and have never even started it. So I was actually looking forward to blowing some snow off of the driveway today. Like most men, I have a primal urge to operate gas powered machinery. If I could use my chainsaw on the snow, I would!  But, as it turned out, a wet/dry vac would be a better option today. It just dawned on me that the warranty is already up on my snow-blower and I haven't even used the damn thing yet! Who can I talk to about that?

And as luck would have it, Tina had a class scheduled in Wheaton (near Washington DC) this morning. So, she decided to get up a few hours early to give herself some "extra time" to get there. Of course, when she gets up early, I get up early. It's not that I necessary want to. But I have a really hard time sleeping over the sonic boom of a 5000 watt hair dryer. So, I'm not only sleep-deprived but I'm also grumpier than usual today. I'm counting on a Dogfish Head draft to brighten my mood at trivia night in a couple hours. Of course, it might have the adverse effect and put me to sleep. Of course, my trivia team would probably love that as I wouldn't be awake to talk them out of the right answer.

Anyway, as it turned out, the rain was enough to cancel Tina's class. Schools, colleges, local and federal government agencies were all closed today as well. I guess they were taking precautions for the people who didn't own umbrellas. Maybe I'm showing my age, but I can remember a time when there actually had to be snow on the ground in order to get "snow day".

As I monitor the news reports, I see that they keep flashing a radar image of the "storm" that's moving over the Baltimore area. According to the graphic, I should be standing in the middle of a blinding white-out. They might want to re-calibrate their equipment because the only accumulation so far is a large puddle of water in the middle of my driveway.

kw