Planes, Pool Cues & Pocketknives

This week, the Transportation Security Administration announced that it will soon allow passengers to bring pocketknives onto planes. That's right, you read it correctly. Starting on April 25, you can bring your pocket knife on-board as long as the blade isn't longer than 6 centimeters. Doesn't that make you feel a little safer?

In case anyone forgot, the weapon of choice for the 9/11 hijackers was believed to be some type of box-cutter or utility knife. The blades on these things are well under 6 centimeters. Figuring that it might be a bad PR move to allow the Stanley utility knife back onto the plane, they decided to keep the ban on any type of razor knife. But small Leatherman-type tools will be allowed. The 9/11 Commission has reported that at least two Leatherman tools were purchased by the hijackers. How's that for an endorsement?

The reason for lifting the present knife ban is to allow the US to align with international rules. Screw the international rules! The TSA's top priority should be to keep America's airports and airlines safe. Since the TSA feels compelled to follow international rules, maybe they'd be open to aligning themselves with Israel's rules where profiling is used. Uh oh, I used the "p" word. Yep, even though all of the 9/11 hijackers were young Arab males, I don't see the TSA embracing the idea of ethnic profiling anytime soon.

In addition to bringing small knives on-board, you will also be allowed to bring golf clubs, pool cues, plastic baseball bats and other "sports sticks". I guess the TSA figures that a pool cue upside the head is no big deal. Hell, it might even help you sleep! And why would someone need to bring a plastic bat on board? Even if you could round up enough players, there's simply not enough room on a plane for a game of Wiffle-ball. By the way, I wonder if the ban on nail clippers will be lifted. I really hope so, because if you can't join the Mile High Club, the next best thing is trimming your toenails at 30,000 feet.

Perhaps those fun-loving TSA agents can start a new ad campaign leading up to April 25. I'm thinking a good tagline might be: "Is that a knife in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?"

Sit back and enjoy the flight folks, nothing to worry about here.....

kw