The Maryland Rain Tax

You gotta give it to Maryland's governor, he's persistent. Specifically, when it comes to raising the cost of living for his constituents, Martin Owe'Malley is a thoroughbred. In his latest tax proposal  he wants to tax Maryland residents on the rain that falls on their property. Stop laughing, I'm totally serious. This latest tax will be determined by the size of your roof and paved surfaces.  In his never ending pursuit to squeeze every last dollar out of the working class, Owe'Malley is proposing what will be called a "storm management fee". I guess calling it a "fee" instead a tax, is supposed to make it sound a little less painful.

I'm not even sure how this new "fee" is going to apply to neighborhoods like mine since we have no storm drains! Basically, the water goes back into the ground. So, if I understand it correctly, I'm going to be taxed on the rain run-off that doesn't exist. Talk about taxation without representation! Aside from all of this, many Marylanders are already getting hit with the "Bay Restoration" flush tax. With new rain tax, we're now going to get taxed on different types of water! This stuff is getting harder and harder to comprehend.

And how do you even calculate the amount of rain on a person's property. I've often driven through a torrential downpour in nearby Glen Burnie only to pull into my bone-dry driveway in Pasadena. In this case, not only does the run-off not exist, but neither does the rain! And I'm still going to get taxed on it? Someone please explain to me how this is fair!

I'm really having a hard time grasping this. How in the hell can you tax someone on the weather? It's not like we have any say in whether it rains or not. I don't even like rain. And now I have to pay for it?

No doubt, the guitar-strumming Irishman in Annapolis is absolutely relentless when it comes to tax or "fee" increases. Since he moved to Annapolis, here are some examples of his handywork:*

• The state sales tax increased from 5% to 6% (for you mathematically-challenged folks, that's actually a 20% increase)
• Vehicle titling tax more than doubled from $23 to $50
• State corporate sales tax increased from 7% to 8.25%
• Approved the "speed monitoring system" aka speed cameras
• Increased tolls (Local tunnels from $2 to $3 and Bay Bridge from $2.50 to $4)
• Cigarette tax increased from doubled from $1 to $2 per pack
• Vehicle dealer processing fee increased from $100 to $300
• Vehicle titling tax increased from $50 to $100
• Vanity plates doubled from $25 to $50
• The tax on alcoholic beverages increased from 6% to 9%
• Assuring that he gets you whether you're coming or going, the fee for birth and death certificates doubled from $12 to $24
• Top marginal income tax rates were increased from 5.5% to 6.25%

I'm almost afraid to think about what this guy will want to tax next. Maryland residents often joke about getting taxed on the air that they breathe. But is it really a joke anymore? I truly believe that if Owe'Malley can find a way, he will indeed propose an air tax. 

Assuming that an air tax is inevitable, how far will that go?  Since we're already being taxed on different types of water, can we expect the same for air? For instance, in the case of flatulence, will there be an additional methane tax? Or will we simply be cited for air pollution? Hey, you go ahead and laugh but did you know that places like Ireland and Denmark already have a cow flatulence tax? If Owe'Malley ever gets "wind" of this, can a people flatulence tax be far behind?

There's no telling how far any of this will go. Today, it's rain. Tomorrow, it could be anything.....

kw

* http://www.changemaryland.org/category/facts/