Wood Shop & Weapons

It seemed like yesterday we were talking about the Brooklyn Park kid who was suspended for possessing a "deadly" Pop-Tart. Well, this morning, I was reading a story about a Chicago-area schoolteacher who was suspended for bringing hand tools into his class. He brought the various items (wrenches, pliers, screwdrivers) into the classroom as visual aids in a discussion about the proper use of tools.*

Now, it seems innocent enough, After all, we use these types of tools regularly for simple household chores. The 17-year elementary-school teacher was probably just trying to give the kids some practical knowledge in hopes that they would actually be able to tell the difference between their ass and a hole in the ground when they went out into the real world. But hold on tight Chicago, we have a problem!

The mentally-challenged idiots, who call themselves school officials, say that the teacher "endangered" his students by putting them in the presence of his tool box. They say that he violated the school's zero-tolerance policy by bringing "weapons" onto school property. The teacher was ultimately suspended and charged with possessing, carrying, storing and/or using a weapon. With this logic, I guess the school maintenance man is required to have a conceal/carry permit?

With this kind of nonsense going on in our public schools, is there any wonder why many of our kids are so screwed up?

I might be incriminating myself and/or my former teacher but I've got a startling confession to make. Way back when I was in 7th grade, part of my school curriculum was (brace yourself folks!).....wood shop! Not only did we have numerous hand tools at our disposal, but we were also expected to use powerful electric band saws and wood lathes. Of course, parents were required to sign a permission slip prior to our class attendance. No parents objected. You see, this was back in the day before we raised our kids to be pussies.

We made all kinds of really cool stuff in wood shop. One of my favorite memories was taking a block of wood, putting it on the wood lathe and then using a small chisel to transform it into a miniature baseball bat. Nowadays, if you did that, a SWAT team would crash through the windows and you would be brought up on a federal assault-weapon charge. The funny thing is that I remember all the kids carrying these little bats throughout the school day. And I don't recall any of them ever being used as a weapon. Although I can remember plenty of fights in the hallways, I don't recall anyone ever getting a wood shampoo.

On an interesting side note, our wood shop teacher, Mr. Poole, used to curse like a drunken sailor. I'm talking f-bombs and everything. I can still remember my first attempt to use the band saw in his class. As I guided a thin piece of wood on the deck of the saw, Mr Poole gave me invaluable advice by saying things like, "For Christ sakes! Don't get so close to the blade, you'll cut your f*cking hand off!" Although he probably never won a Teacher of the Year award, there was something about his unique instruction method that really stuck with me. Although his choice of adjectives might suggest otherwise, Mr. Poole was actually a really nice guy. I always looked forward to his class and his colorful, profanity-laced stories (I now wonder how much influence he may have had on my own "colorful" storytelling along with my insatiable urge to drop the f-bomb into every other sentence). If his class somehow existed today, Mr. Poole would ultimately be sentenced to a lifetime of sensitivity training and his students would have their brains "washed" with prescription drugs.

Hey, I realize that we live in a different time now. Maybe some of the modern precautions are justified. And I certainly don't advocate teachers dropping f-bombs in class. However, when kids are getting suspended for Pop-Tarts and teachers are being brought up on "weapons" charges for a pair of pliers, common sense is as obsolete as Mr. Poole's 7th grade wood shop......

kw

* http://cnsnews.com/blog/craig-bannister/teacher-sues-school-over-suspension-weapons-charge-showing-students-garden