Bizarre Foods

After being confined to the house during the recent snowstorms, it's no surprise that I've watched more television than normal. One of the more interesting shows that I've seen in Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmern. Basically, Andrew travels all over the world and samples the local cuisine. And believe me, it's much more than your typical meat and potato dishes.

This guy will eat anything from raw fish eyeballs to goat testicles. I don't know how he does it. Amazingly, he eats these things the same way we might knock back a hot dog at the ball park. A typical segment might go something like this:

“So, here we are in Southeast Asia. I will now tear into a local delicacy that us Westerners might better know as petrified skunk's ass. As I take the first bite, I would describe the flavor as rather pungent and the texture as a bit leathery. I feel a slight urge to throw up. But all in all, not too bad......”

I've seen this guy eat lizards, wasp larvae, crickets, eyeballs, rotten fish, cow spleen, and of course a multitude of testicles. I've heard him describe these as “gelatinous”. Kind of makes you squirm, doesn't it?

Personally, I'm kind of boring when it comes to food. I like a nice (beef) steak every now and then. And when it comes to seafood, I usually stick with the traditional shrimp, crab and white fish. Once in a while, I might even go for some littleneck clams or crawfish.

On my first trip to Colorado years ago, I found myself in a restaurant with a group of co-workers. When it came time to order, they seemed to be obsessed with me trying the Rocky Mountain Oysters. I thought it was a bit odd that they would have oysters in a place that is nowhere near an ocean or bay. When I asked the waiter if these oysters came from the east coast or west coast, my “buddies” all started laughing. Then, I knew something was up. I erred on the side of caution and declined the Midwestern oysters. And it's a good thing. I later found out that they were actually bull testicles! And these boneheads thought it would be funny if I unknowingly ate these things. Surprisingly, it turns out that they are considered a delicacy in the Denver area. Go figure!

On another trip to Colorado, I found myself driving through a mountain town. There were vendors set up alongside of the road every few miles. I eventually stopped to see what was up. I struck up a conversation with a guy who was selling all types of jerky. He had beef, turkey, elk, deer, caribou and several others. Feeling adventurous, I bought a little of each. When I got home, I grabbed a couple beers and took the jerky out to my back porch. The beef was great but the others were lacking. I'm not sure why anyone would even want to try to improve on the flavor of good ol' beef.

Once in a blue moon, I'll order calamari for an appetizer. If it's cooked right, it's not bad. But too many times, it's rubbery and I leave most of it on my plate. When I was in the Bahamas several years ago, the big local delicacy was conch, which is basically a big snail. I tried it, but it was quite bland and a little chewy. Not something that I'm going to miss. And more recently, while in South Carolina, I tried some alligator nuggets. As expected, they were quite rubbery and would probably be more useful as Superballs than an appetizer.

On a local level, I never really understood the fascination with raw oysters. I mean, you slurp the mucus-like creature out of it's shell and swallow it whole. Where's the dining pleasure in that?

Call me boring, but I'm going to stick with my filet mignon and crab cake!

KW