I am not here to lecture you on what's right or wrong with today's politics. I am not going to change your views. And you're probably not going to change mine. So, what do you say we just kick back over a cup of our favorite beverages and I'll tell you a story about how I was introduced to politics at a very young age.
It all started sometime back in the middle '70's in a small town in North Carolina. Most of my relatives on my Dad's side lived in this area, so we were making our visitation rounds.I honestly had never met most of them. I would later find out that many of these strangers were actually my second or third cousins. And there were a lot of them. I quickly learned that southern folks were very efficient at reproducing.
We eventually ended up at one of my Dad's distant aunt's house. We went inside and started the awkward introduction process. I soon met a boy about my own own age. He might have been a cousin but I can't really remember. But anyway, he invited me out back to check out his tree house. I was instantly intrigued. As a young city boy, I had heard about tree houses but I didn't know they really existed. Now, I was about to actually step foot in one.
We exited the main house and made our way back to a dense patch of woods. I was wearing a relatively new pair of Jack Purcell's. The thought of trampling through the soft, damp ground and ruining them made me a bit uneasy. But nonetheless, the opportunity to experience a real life tree house could not be squandered.
As we entered the woods, we came upon a small stream. This was also something new to me. The closet thing we had to a stream in Baltimore was a storm drain. So, my new friend (I'll call him Jim-Bob) proceeded to show me how beneficial a natural stream could be. He cupped his hands and gathered up some water. To my surprise, he then put it up to his lips and drank it. He suggested that I do the same. I declined by telling him that I was more of a Pepsi man.
Without missing a beat, he then turned up a large rock and extracted a small creature from beneath it. It turned out to be a crawfish. I had never seen one of these. He offered to let me hold it but I declined. For some reason, he then started to taunt me with it. He pretended to set it on my shoulder. Then he tried to put it down the back of my shirt. I flinched to get away from the little crustacean and the bigger psychopath. This should have been a sign to leave the woods immediately and go back to the city.
Anyway, he eventually got bored and returned the crawfish to the stream. He motioned for me to follow him deeper into the woods.I have to admit, I was a little apprehensive. Crazy thoughts began to run through my mind. The fact that I had recently seen "Deliverance" certainly didn't help things. But, for whatever reason, I decided to venture on.
Before long, I could see the tree house. It was nestled about twenty feet high in a large oak tree. As we made our way closer, Jim-Bob made me even more uncomfortable when he pulled out a medium-sized pocket knife. He picked up a small twig and began to carve at it. It was really strange. Why would he pull out a knife at this very moment? I mean, I had seen this kind of thing on "Little House on the Prairie" but Jim-Bob definitely wasn't one of the Ingalls.
So, I gathered up whatever courage I had left and followed him to the oak tree. There was a makeshift ladder that led up to the bottom entrance to the tree house. Jim-Bob invited me to go up first. Since I was a husky boy, I was concerned that the ladder would not support my weight. But I figured, it was probably better to die from a fall than to have Jim-Bob carve me into a Jack-o-Lantern.
I carefully climbed the ladder, grasping each rung as tightly as possible. I made it all the way to the top without incident and then I pulled myself up on to the deck of tree house. As I surveyed the the surrounding area from 20 feet in the air, I experienced a much-needed moment of comfort. But it was short-lived as Jim-Bob began to pull himself onto the deck.
He invited me to have a seat. So, we both sat facing each other from opposite corners of the tree house. We had a random conversation while he continued to widdle away at the twig. It was definitely making me uncomfortable and I think he could sense it. He confirmed by belief by asking, "Am I making you nervous?"
I had developed very early as a bonafide smart-ass. So, instead of answering him with a simple yes or no, I replied, "No, not all. Why would I be nervous about sitting in a remote tree house with a knife-wielding stranger?"
He just laughed and said, "We're not strangers. We're 5th cousins."
And, I know it took a while to get to this point, but this is where my introduction to politics was born. Jim-Bob then switched gears on me and asked, "So, are you a Democrat or Republican?"
I scratched my head my head and replied, "I'm ten years old. I have no idea."
"Well, you gotta be one. So, go ahead and pick," he replied.
I explained that I didn't really know the difference between the two. And then I tried to change the subject to baseball or something. But he wasn't having any of it. He was insistent that I pick one. Then, things really went to the dark side when he said, "You know, if we're from opposing parties, I could kill you right here and it would be totally justified."
Did I just hear this guy right? Now, my mind really started racing. Could I take this guy, even though he was armed with a knife? Could I overpower him and toss him out of the tree house? And then, would the fall be enough to hobble him long enough so I could make a run towards the main house? Pretty heavy stuff for a 10-year-old to comprehend, huh?
Although Jim-Bob may have been better versed at surviving on stream water and stabbing squirrels with a pocket knife, I had city smarts. So, I turned the game around on him and asked, "So, let me ask you, are you a Democrat or that other thing?"
"I'm a Democrat, just like my Daddy," he spontaneously replied.
Unknowingly, Jim-Bob had taken the bait and revealed his hand. Seizing the moment, I said, "Me too! Damn, you really had me worried there for a minute. I thought you were gonna say you were that other thing."
Feeling like I had just dodged a bullet (or more specifically, the dirty blade of a pocketknife), I breathed a sigh of relief. I then took that opportunity to make my escape announcement.
"Hey, Jim-Bob, it's really been a blast. Your tree house is bad-ass.. But I gotta get back to the house. My parents are gonna be leaving soon", I said.
To my surprise, he casually got up and said, "Yeah, I reckon we should be getting back."
We made both made our way out of the tree house and through the woods towards the main house. As I looked down, I noticed that my Jack Purcell's were covered in semi-dried mud. But I really didn't care. Whether I was Democrat or Republican, I was just happy to be making it out of the woods alive......
Epilogue
My intent was not to take a political shot at either party. I'm just telling you about the non-conventional way that I was introduced to politics. But since you're probably wondering.... I registered as a Democrat at the age of 18 for no other reason than "that's what my Daddy was". I remained a Democrat until I was about 30 years. At that time of my life, I started paying more attention to the issues and realized that I aligned more with the Republican party. So, I switched over and have been a member of the GOP ever since. However, I always welcome a spirited debate and try to approach things with an open mind. Even if it happens to be in a tree house in North Carolina....
