Monday, September 29, 2014

Overhead Bins and Selective Neighbors

Airline travel sucks for many reasons. However, today, we'll focus on the carry-on luggage issue....

Flying home from Denver last Friday, Southwest's carry-on luggage policy was experiencing more abuse than a West Baltimore crack pipe. Although the policy clearly states that carry-on bags can not be larger than 24" long and 16" wide, people continued to board the plane with bags large enough to hold a baby elephant.

I noticed one woman who was really struggling to push her bag down the aisle. The bag was so large and heavy that it was getting wedged between the arm rests on the adjacent seats. Now, normally I would be a gentleman and help her. But in this case, all bets were off. If a bag is so large that it's getting stuck in the aisle, it should have been checked and not brought on the plane as a carry-on.

So, the woman eventually finds an empty seat but there's no way she can lift the 100-pound suitcase. So, eventually a guy gets up and helps her. Even he was having a hard time lifting this thing into the overhead bin. And then once it was finally up there, he couldn't get the door to close on the bin. He and the woman kept pushing on the door but it kept bouncing back open. It looked like they were performing CPR on the damned thing! After several unsuccessful attempts, the guy slams the door with all his might and it finally latches. The pressure on the latch must have been tremendous! So, I was really glad that I wasn't the one sitting underneath of that particular bin. If the plane happened to hit a patch of turbulence and the bin door popped open, someone was going to get seriously hurt.

As I sat in my aisle seat and watched several other large suitcases being wheeled past me, I could feel myself getting more and more pissed. You see, when people bring these large items on board, it takes time to pack them away. And then inevitably, when there's no more overhead space, the flight attendants have to start rearranging the bins which delays our take-off even more. Ironically, many of the people bring their luggage on board because they don't want to wait 15 minutes in baggage claim when they land. So, instead, they hold up the entire flight for an extra half-hour by trying to find a space for their carry-on luggage. Makes sense, huh?

So, moving on.....

When I fly Southwest, I always try to take an aisle seat. By the time I find my aisle seat, the window seat is usually already taken. This was the case on Friday. So, after taking my seat, I now instinctively go into search mode. What I'm searching for is a suitable neighbor for the flight. You see, almost all flights are oversold these days which means that every seat is going to be occupied. With that being the case, I like to attract a "compatible person" to sit next to me. With any luck this person will weigh less than 100 pounds and bathe regularly. There's nothing worse than getting seated next to a 400-pound sweathog on a 4-hour flight. Trust me, it does happen...

Anyway, as new passengers come into view, I scan them to find my potential neighbor. When I eventually settle on one, I try to work some subtle magic. As my flight buddy approaches, I try this tried-and-true tactic....Acting as though I'm reading, I nonchalantly look up and make eye contact with the person. When eye contact is confirmed, I give him/her a friendly smile. I'm no psychologist, so I can't explain why, but I can tell you that it actually works. When executed correctly, you can almost hear Mr Rogers singing "Won't You Be My Neighbor" from the cockpit.

Ok, this brings me back to my original topic.....

I successfully implement the Mr. Rogers trick on an attractive woman with a petite build whom I estimate to be in her early 30's. Yeah, yeah, I know what you're probably thinking. But what can I say? She clearly passed my "compatible neighbor" screening process. Who am I to judge?

As my luck would have it, the young woman has brought a rather large suitcase on board. However, there isn't any more space in the overhead bin. So, she asks, "Who's laptop case is this?"

Realizing that I'm probably the only one on the plane who has brought on a legitimate carry-on item, I say, "It's mine."

The woman then says, "Can you take it down and store it under your seat?"

Without even thinking, I stood up on an imaginary soapbox and explained, "I'm sorry, No, I can't can't." Gesturing with my hands like a used car salesman, I continued, "Look at all of these big ass suitcases stuffed into these bins. It's ridiculous. And here I am, with a small laptop case, and I'm the one getting kicked out of the bin? On top of all this, I already feel like a piece of veal in this seat. Imagine when I stuff this bag under there. Can you see why I might have a problem with it?"

And before I go any further, I want to note that I'm not usually like this. But some of my recent flights have been less than ideal, so I guess the culmination of all this stuff finally took it's toll...

Anyway, the young woman, whom I fully expect to give me an attitude, instead, says, "I can see your point. But how 'bout if I sit right there next to you and I'll  put your bag under my seat. Will that work?"

"I'm sorry, say that again," I asked, clearly not expecting her reasonable compromise.

She reiterated, "You can put your bag under my seat. It's no big deal at all."

Feeling a bit like a jerk, I said, "Sure. That will work."

She puts her bag in the overhead and then squeezes past me and into the middle seat. She takes my laptop bag and slides it under her seat. And then, she thanks me. Now, I really felt like an asshole. So, I apologized for overreacting. She said that she certainly understood and that it was really no big deal.

While I still think that air travel sucks, at least everything worked out this time. If you're not that familiar with flying. just be prepared to face these situations.

kw

Sunday, September 28, 2014

One Evening at a Colorado Brewpub

Shortly after arriving in Colorado last Sunday night, I decided to hit a local brewpub for a couple of beers and a bite to eat. I cozy on up to the bar and begin to scan the beer menu. (By the way, any place that has a beer menu gets extra points from me right from the start.) Anyway, I order a seasonal IPA and then move on to the traditional food menu.

As I'm trying to decided between the ahi tuna and the crab bisque for my appetizer, a guy pulls into the bar space a few stools down. Instead of picking up the menu, he proceeds to start playing a card game on his iPad. The bartender comes over to take the guy's drink order. However, the guy is clearly preoccupied with a big decision of whether to go for the full house or a four-of-a-kind.

"Yeah, yeah, I just have a beer or something"', the guy says.

The bartender gives me a quick glance as if to say, "WTF?". Then, he turns back to the guy and says, "We definitely have beer here. And some other things as well. But can you be a little more specific?"

The guy, who by now had achieved the full house in his card game was a little more pleasant. He answered back, "Ok, I'll have a Coors Light."

Stop right there! Before we go any further......

In beer-ese, there is no bigger faux pas than ordering a watering-down, mass produced light beer in a beer pub. For the love of Sam Adams, you just don't do it. The bartender later confirmed this for me by saying, "Yeah, it really pisses me off when people do that."

The guy eventually settles for a fruity house brew and then goes back to playing his poker game. After several more virtual hands of Texas Hold 'Em, he calls the Colorado bartender over. He says, "I think I'll have the turkey burger."

Now, for the record, aside from tofu and hummus, ground turkey is about the most tasteless substance on the planet. Why anyone would order this crap in a restaurant is beyond me. (For a more detailed explanation, see my blog titled "Grounding The Turkey Burger")

Anyway, the bartender takes the guy's food order and sends it back to the kitchen. A short time later, the bartender returns and tells the guy that they're all out of turkey burgers. I assume it's because no one has ordered a turkey burger since 1973. Maybe the inventory has spoiled? Nonetheless, the guy at the bar really seems to get upset over it. Yes, over a freggin' turkey burger. The bartender, who seems just as amazed as I am, reluctantly apologizes to the guy and asks him if there's something else on the menu that interests him. The guy, who has turned into a fully-pledged curmudgeon at this point, takes a deep breath and condescendingly says, "I'm going to need a minute."

Mr. Grinch proceeds to scan the menu as he multitasks by playing another hand of poker. He eventually settles on a some type of salad. The bartender, recognizing that the guy's fruity beer is almost gone, asks him if he would like another. He replies that he would indeed like another beer. The bartender sets the new beer in front of the guy and turns toward another customer. However, in mid-turn, the curmudgeon slams the bartender by asking, "This beer is on the house, right?"

The bartender, not sure if he heard the guy correctly, replies, "I'm sorry, sir. Can you say that again?"

"This beer is on the house, right? It would seem like the right thing to do. Don't you think?", he arrogantly asks..

The confused bartender replies,"I'm sorry, sir. Is there something that you're unhappy about? I'm not quite following you."

The guy manages a half-smile and says, "You guys didn't have the turkey burger that I originally ordered. So, I think the very least you could do is comp me a beer for the inconvenience."

Can you believe this bullshit? This guy is trying to strong-arm the bartender for a free beer over a stupid turkey burger. In my opinion, the bar did the guy a favor by running out of turkey burgers. But obviously, this knucklehead isn't playing with a full deck and feels like he should somehow be compensated.

With one ear on the Steelers-Panthers game and the other on the this ridiculous interchange, I desperately tried to finish my ahi tuna appetizer. I almost felt like walking over slapping the guy upside the head for being such an asshole. But knowing that there's probably a video camera nearby, I let it go. I figured the local news stations would have a field day if I went to the dark side. I could already see the lead-in story on the evening news.....

"Earlier this evening a Baltimore man slapped a local curmudgeon in a Denver brewpub. Pictured here, next to Ravens running back Ray Rice, is Baltimore native, Ken Wilson. Details are still coming in but here's the video of the incident. We are still unclear what provoked the altercation. We will be updating this story as we learn more....."

Anyway, the grumpy guy at the bar wound up getting a free beer when it was all said and done. I just don't get it. I'm generally a nice guy who engages in intriguing conversation with the bartender (and anyone else within earshot). Plus, I usually tip pretty well. But do I ever get a free beer? Hell, no.

So, I settle up my bar tab as the curmudgeon plays another round of poker and casually sips on his free beer. The worst part about all this the guy isn't even a "real" beer drinker. He's one of those guys who prefers wine coolers and fruity concoctions with little plastic umbrellas.........


kw

Friday, September 19, 2014

A Day In Savannah

Last week, while vacationing on Hilton Head Island, we decided to take a ride over to Savannah, Georgia. Tina & I were there with our good friends, Joe and Fran. Aside from spending a night in Atlanta years ago, I had never spent any time in the Peach State. So, I was really looking forward to this day trip.

As we entered the historic town, we found a place to park atop the famed River Street. While fidgeting with the parking ticket machine, one of the locals approached me. He was neatly dressed in a pair of khakis and and a golf shirt. He made small talk, asking me where I was from and if I had ever been to Savannah. He seemed really nice, like the stereotypical southern gentleman. But then, out of nowhere, he hits me with the ol' "Hey, I was wondering if you could help me out. You see, my car ran out of gas and I just need a few dollars to get back on the road."

I was so disappointed. Here I was, not in the city for five minutes, and I've already got a guy trying to scam me. Trying not to be overly rude, I gently explained to the guy, "Hey man, look, I'm from Baltimore. I run into assholes like you all the time. So, please take your bullshit away from me and try it on someone else."

Surprisingly, the guy just smiled, as if I just given him a compliment, and said, "Ok sir, You have a good day and enjoy your time in Savannah."

He was so nice that I almost called him back and gave him a few bucks.

We carefully made our down a 200-year-old set of steps, and walked along the cobblestone alley towards River Street. The sight of an enormous modern cargo ship passing along the adjacent Savannah River seemed a bit odd. The ship was a large as an entire city block, creating a sharp contrast with the cobblestone and 300-year-old buildings.

Walking along River Street, I noticed that it was lined with the predictable gift shops and specialty stores. This caused Tina and Fran's eyes to light up. It didn't take long for Joe and I to notice the multitude of old pubs, which caused our eyes to light up. I instinctively put on my sunglasses as the day seemed much more brighter.

Our first stop was Spanky's. Now, I instantly got a kick out of this place simply because of the name. You see, Spanky was the name that I gave to the real-life "character" in my infamous "Charming The Cobra" blog (If you've never read it, go check it out). Once we grabbed a seat at the bar, the friendly bartender recommended a few local brews. I opted for one the IPA's. As we engaged in a sports conversation with the bartender, I noticed Tina & Fran walking past the front window. They had caught up with us! I snagged the girls and invited them in for a drink and a round of appetizers. As we settled up our bar tab, the bartender informed us that, in Savannah, you could walk down the street with an open container of beer. I was loving this place more with each passing moment! Mr. Bartender topped off our authentic Spanky solo-cups with fresh beer and we walked out the door to resume our day.

We strolled down River Street and wound up at the outdoor market. It consisted of various vendors selling everything from beef jerky to arts and crafts. After a few minutes, Joe and I began to get thirsty again. After all, it was 90 degrees and very humid! So, we wandered into the nearby Joe's Crab Shack. Now, I've been to this seafood chain before and, quite frankly, I think their food is way overpriced and pretty much sucks. But the beer is cold and that's all we cared about. We struck up a political conversation with the bartender, who was dressed in a blue tie-dyed t-shirt. I couldn't quite figure out if he was on the left or the right, but I liked him just the same. He also had a very cool southern accent!

We made our way off of River Street and inward toward Johnson Square. We noticed Paula Deen's restaurant in the distance. Once the girls saw this, I knew where we were having dinner. Once we were seated, we were greeted by the happiest waitress that I've ever met. I'm not kidding you, she had an ear-to-ear smile and could not have been any nicer. And the best part is that it was genuine. I kept wanting to get up and hug this woman but I figured it would look kind of odd. I think she really liked us too because, several times, she told us, "Aw, y'all are so sweet." She actually sounded a lot like Paula Deen, whom we found out, had been in the restaurant earlier in the day.

As for the food in the Paula's restaurant, I thought it was very good. However, if you're watching your weight, be careful. I think butter is the main ingredient in almost every dish. I got the shrimp and grits and although delicious, there's no way that I could finish it due to the richness. It would have been a great dish to split between two people.

As we ventured back outside after dinner, the girls wanted to take a carriage ride through the city. While we settling things up with the carriage guy, a local guy comes out of a nearby bar and starts talking to me about college football (which I know very little about). I'm not sure what this guy was drinking but he was pretty smashed. He mentions one of the running backs from the University of South Carolina. I tell him that I've never heard the the guy. He looks at my like I'm an idiot and says, "How can you not know who he is?"

I reply, "I guess I don't get out much, brother. Sorry, never heard of him."

"Are you kidding me? He's got those crazy Elvis legs. Nobody can catch him. He's a bad-ass!", he says.

Realizing that I couldn't relate to the guy with the crazy Elvis legs, he shifted the conversation. Now, he tells me that he has a tube in his head and then invites me to touch it. I tell him that I don't want to touch it. But he insists. So, here I am out on this busy street, pushing on this guy's forehead with my index finger. Bailing me out of an awkward situation, Tina says, "Come on Ken, we gotta go!"

I instantly stop pressing on the guy's head and say, "Hey bud, it's been fun but I really gotta go."

A little while later, we saw this same guy passed out on a park bench in the town square.

We boarded the carriage and prepared for our guided tour around the town. Since it was only the four of us, our guide informed us that we could smoke our cigars during the ride. Sweet! The tour guide, who was probably in her early 20's, was surprisingly knowledgeable about the different buildings and sites. She also had a very good sense of humor. We gave her a generous tip after the entertaining ride.

As the evening approached, we were wearing out. But there was one particular brew pub that I wanted to hit before we left (By the way, Fran graciously offered to be our designated driver. Thank you, Fran!). We made our way into the Moon River Brewing Company on West Bay Street. I was told that this is considered one of the most haunted building in the United States. The place was packed with people but the only spirits that I saw were bottled on a shelf behind the bar. Tina & Fran shoe-horned their way into a corner spot at the bar. Meanwhile, I struck up a conversation with some military guys at a nearby pub table. It turned out that they were from Maryland, so we exchanged stories about the old neighborhoods.

After a couple of beers we were really starting to feel the effects of the long, hot day. So, we decided to pack it in and head back to our hotel in nearby Hilton Head. I found Savannah to be a lively city, loaded with history and beaming with southern hospitality. I hope to go back one day soon and soak up a little more of that Savannah atmosphere.....

kw


Wednesday, September 17, 2014

The 2014 Orioles - A Team of Destiny?

No need to calculate any of those magic numbers folks, the Baltimore Orioles are now officially the champs of the American League East. The birds clinched the division last night with an impressive 8-2 win over the Toronto Blue Jays.

I have been watching baseball for long time and, to me, this year's run to the play-offs has been nothing short of amazing. Throughout the season, the Orioles have fought off adversity which came in the form of key injuries and timely suspensions. However, as things looked rather dismal, the players seemed to use the dilemma-du-jour as a rallying cry.

O's manager, Buck Showalter, has visibly changed the culture of this team over the past few years. When he came to Baltimore, Buck took over a team that almost seemed to accept their role as a perennial loser. The Oriole Magic was gone during those 15 years of losing seasons. And many long-time fans grew tired of watching a lackluster team that seemed to be out of contention by the All-Star break.

The team that we're watching today is a completely different. There's a camaraderie among these guys that is reminiscent of the 70's and early 80's teams. In a nutshell, they believe in themselves. And as added bonus, the players on this team seem to genuinely like each other. In a time of high-dollar egos, this is quite an accomplishment.

All season long, I have seen these guys cheer for one another. When one guy hits a home-run, the rest of the team celebrates as if they hit it themselves. When a player makes an impressive defensive play, you'll see the O's pitcher giving him an immediate nod of acknowledgment. And even when things sometimes get hot, the players yield to their skipper to handle things*. Buck has control of this team, as a manager should, and the players respect that.

*(The rare exception is the Manny Machado meltdown against the Oakland A's earlier this season. But I'm sure Buck had long talk with the young star afterward. He'll be ok...)

The by-product of all this is the rekindled relationship with the fans. I don't think I've ever seen so many people proudly wearing their Oriole apparel around town. This team now has a personality and the fans have responded with a barrage of enthusiasm. Watching Adam Jones celebrate with the people in the stands after last night's victory will go down as one of those special O's moments. There is an undeniable connection that now exists between the players and the fans.

As the team celebrated on the field last night, Buck Showalter remained perched on the top step of the dugout. You could see him beaming with pride as he watched his players soak up the moment. And when someone inevitably gives him credit for the success of this team, he almost always defers the credit to his players. Buck is a class act. And he may not be Earl Weaver, but he's definitely worthy of mentioning in the same sentence.

As the team moves forward, there's no telling how things will work out. But if you believe it yourself, anything is possible. I am more than just proud of this team, I have fallen in love with them. Oriole Magic is definitely back. And it feels pretty damned good!

Our dear friend, Chuck Thompson, is probably looking down right now and saying, "Ain't the beer cold!"

Yes, it is, Chuck. Yes, it is.........

kw

Monday, September 8, 2014

The Video That Killed The Football Star

Right on the heels of the Raven's disappointing loss in their season opener yesterday, fans were greeted with the newly leaked video of Ray Rice knocking his girlfriend unconscious inside of a casino elevator. This new video has been making it's rounds through the media networks all day and has left Ravens fans feeling betrayed.

When we first learned of Rice's infamous incident, many fans were reluctant to judge the "anti-bullying" advocate until they saw the whole picture. Well. they have now been presented with the whole picture and it's caused quite a stir on the social media sites. From the things that I've read today, Ray Rice's name is now mud. Even seasoned excuse-makers are having a hard time defending Rice after this...

It's easy to overlook a lot of things. However, the image of a man, especially a man that plays professional football, knocking a woman unconscious is something that sticks with you for a while. And although there's no other photographic evidence (that we know of), many believe that Rice is no rookie when it comes to beating on girls. The casual way that he pulls his finance's limp body out of the elevator doesn't help this perception. It was a sick image that will likely follow Rice for the rest of his life.

(On a side note, I can't help but think, "How stupid was Ray Rice?" He was in a casino where every square inch is under video surveillance. Did he actually think that he would get away with this. That's the problem, he didn't think at all...)

As the negative reactions reached a boiling point this afternoon, the Ravens officially announced that they were parting ways with their troubled running back. Ray Rice has officially left the building (or at least M&T Stadium). His future, at this point, is uncertain. Will another NFL gamble on him and give him a second chance sometime down the road? I don't know, maybe. But for the time being, Rice is a definitely a four-letter word around the NFL.

Compounding things for Rice, the NFL announced that they were suspending him indefinitely. This comes after they initially suspended him for two games. And the NFL recently announced that any future wife-beatings would result in a six-game suspension for the first offense and a life-time ban for any additional incidents. The NFL has been heavily criticized for the original two-game suspension which most people viewed as a slap on the wrist. So, when the video surfaced today, they were almost forced to react quickly and more harshly.

I know there will be a few who will defend Rice in some twisted way. To those people, let me ask you this...If that were your sister or daughter on the receiving end of that uppercut, would you still feel the same way? Sorry folks, there's no defending this one.

So, kids let this be a lesson on how quickly your life can change by one stupid decision. In a flash, Ray Rice went from the playful, fun-loving guy who was active in the community to the banished poster boy of domestic violence. Most of the people who once proudly wore his jersey to Ravens games will now be using those jerseys for port-o-pot doormats at the next tailgating party.

It's definitely been an eventful day for Ravens fans. And for all the wrong reasons.....

kw

Sunday, September 7, 2014

Illegal Immigration - Reform? What Reform?

This weekend, we learned that President Obama will delay taking executive action on immigration until after the mid-term elections. This comes after he promised, earlier this year, to issue broad directives on immigration reform by the end of the summer.

This delay is obviously a calculated politician move as fellow Democrats know that any decision on immigration could have a huge impact on the November elections. So, by basically sitting it out, they feel like their chances are better.

But is the President's latest broken promise the right move?

After all, there are countless illegal immigrants who are waiting to getting an official free pass from our President. While they call it "amnesty", it's actually nothing more than a reward to millions of people who have flagrantly ignored our border laws and waltzed into our country illegally. The United States is being invaded right before our eyes and our so-called leaders sit back and continue to do absolutely nothing. Instead of taking real action, they coddle the issue with ideas like "pathway to citizenship". With this type of "penalty" looming north of the border, is there any wonder why there's a flood of illegals spilling into California and Arizona every day?

I'm seriously expecting to see a time in the near future where they give each illegal immigrant and bag of cookies and $1000 in cash as they walk across the US border. Gracias, senor. Voy a tener otro!

Just this morning, I was reading an article in which California Governor Jerry Brown said that 30% of his state's school children are either undocumented or don't speak English. That almost one out three, for you mathematically challenged folks. If this trend continues, how long before there are more people speaking Spanish than English??

With the the Hispanic population continuing to boom, politicians from both parties are taking the preliminary steps to ensure that they secure their votes. Granting illegal Hispanics amnesty and issuing them a voter's card is the initial plan to set the hook. So, in a nutshell, our politicians are putting their respective parties before their country. But we continue to re-elect these traitors and allow them to create deviousness between us, the people.

So, are we delusional? Or are we simply foolish? In most cases, we'd be better off writing in Mickey Mouse as our candidate than voting for most of the assholes who ultimately get elected.

Every time Maryland Governor Martin Owe'Malley refers to illegal immigrants as "new Americans", I feel like throwing up. Not surprising, Owe'Malley will likely be on the 2016 ticket for President. As laughable as that might seem, in reality, his "new American" attitude on immigration will fit perfectly with what's going on in Washington right now.....

kw

Tuesday, September 2, 2014

Putting It All Out There

Over the weekend, we learned that someone hacked into internet "cloud" accounts and stole hundreds of nude photos of several Hollywood A-list celebrities. As expected, the affected celebrities are now in damage-control mode as the photos potentially make their way around the internet an onto a website near you.

A few of the people who were reportedly caught with their pants down were actresses Jennifer Lawrence, singer Rihanna and Sports Illustrated swimsuit model, Kate Upton. And last year, actress Scarlett Johansson was the victim in a similar incident. The guy was eventually caught and sentenced to 10 years in jail but not before he leaked the nude photos of Johansson. What a dumbass! If he wanted to see Scarlett Johansson naked, all he had to do was rent "Under The Skin" from Redbox.

Is it wrong to hack into someone's emails or private websites? Is it wrong to steal from, and in many cases, blackmail these folks with their own intimate moments? Absolutely.

But here's the thing that I don't quite understand. Why do people, especially high-profile celebrities, put themselves in these situations? Unless you're a bonafide exhibitionist, why would you take a photo of your junk and then upload it into cyberspace? Once that image leaves your computer, there's no guarantee that it's going to be secure. Just look at some of the recent hackings that have taken place. Just today, I read that someone hacked into Home Depot's computers and may have stolen a massive amount of credit card data. If this type of thing can happen to Target and Home Depot, does that full-frontal digitized image of your nether-regions really stand a chance?

I don't get it. Do these people wake up one day and say, "Hey, I think I'll snap some 10-megapixel photos of my package and upload them to an online storage cloud somewhere out in cyberland?"

I mean, what could possibly go wrong?

Hey, I'm not naive. I know this type of thing has been going on for a long time. But as least back before the digital age, you had the option to tear up the the photo and burn the negatives. Not today. Once you put something online, it's virtually there forever and there's no telling where it might end up. But still, countless people everyday continue to post incriminating messages and compromising photos that will ultimately come back and bite them in their ass. Or, in this case, their bare ass....

kw

Monday, September 1, 2014

The NFL's Latest Black Eye

Wow! That sure didn't take long.....

Just a few days after the NFL announced harsher penalties for domestic violence incidents, 49er's defensive end, Ray McDonald, was arrested for roughing up his pregnant girlfriend. Sounds like a real Teddy Bear of a guy, huh?

The NFL's new penalties surrounding domestic violence translates into a 6-game suspension for the first offense and a lifetime ban for the second. This decision, of course, came on the heels of the slap on the wrist that was given to Baltimore Ravens running back, Ray Rice.

Rice, attempting to become Baltimore's greatest knock-out artist since Hasim Rahman, was arrested earlier this year for punching his girlfriend's lights out in an Atlantic City casino. The image of Rice dragging his girlfriend's limp, unconscious body out of an elevator instantly became a source of embarrassment to the Ravens and their fans. The NFL was heavily criticized when they gave a Rice a relatively light suspension of only two games. And since the Ravens play their second game on a Thursday night the suspension amounts to less than a week.

Now, the thing that goes through my mind is, "Why do these guys keep getting into these situations?"

Some people will attempt to downplay these "rare occurrences" and argue that the NFL is actually below the national average for domestic violence instances. While this might be true, I guess I expect a little better behavior from guys that are supposed to be disciplined professionals. Plus, most of these guys are very large and tremendously strong. Just the thought of one of them punching a woman is a bit disturbing.

How many other occupations have to outline the disciplinary actions for domestic abuse? I have been in the workforce since I was a teenager and I can't remember any of my employers ever saying "Just to let you know, if you hit a woman, you're going get six weeks off without pay. And if you do it a second time, we will have no choice but to let you go."

And let's face it, if you got arrested for some of these things, your career would likely be in immediate jeopardy without an option for a second chance. The NFL might have to take that approach before long.....

kw