Mom Turns 80

I was still in high school when my Mom was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. We really didn't understand what it meant. And we had no idea of the impact that it would have on her in the subsequent years.

As time moved on, my Mom's health continued to decline. She was progressively robbed of her overall mobility. In the initial stages, she used a walker to help guide her along. A few years later, she relied on a battery-operated scooter to move around. We used to joke with her about her "driving skills" as she occasionally took a corner too sharp and gouged the sheetrock or wood molding. It would drive my Dad nuts! At the first sound of impact, he would pop out of his La-Z-Boy recliner and say, "God dammit, Linda! Watch where you're going! I just fixed that wall last week!"

While we tried to keep things light and positive, we knew the seriousness of Mom's bumpy road. She eventually wound up in a electric wheelchair that she controlled with a small joystick. Within a few years, she was no longer able to drive the chair herself. Her mobility now relied on someone else pushing her wheelchair. Sadly, today she is pretty much confined to her bed.

And last year, she starting losing her ability to swallow. So a feeding tube was inserted. Eating, one of the most basic joys in life, was cruelly snatched away. The blows just never seem to stop coming.

The most amazing thing through all of this is that my Mom never gave up hope. And she never complained. Not matter how bad things got, she always viewed it as a temporary setback and believed that tomorrow would be a better day. I found it inspiring and did my best to channel her positive energy into my own life. There were times when I would find myself in a bad spot. Like most of us, my first inclination was to feel sorry for myself. But I would always look at my Mom's way of handling adversity and I would instantly see things differently. After all, whatever I was going through at the time could not even remotely compare to what my Mom was going through. 

I never quite understood cliches like "everything happens for a reason". But if there are two things that I took from my Mom's dire situation, they are: #1. Don't waste time feeling sorry for yourself. It serves no purpose. Get your ass together and start looking for a solution. #2. Don't ever give up!

Admittedly, my Mom's outlook noticeably changed after my Dad's passing in 2016. But she still somehow finds hope with each new day.

Today, my Mom celebrated her 80th birthday. With Roy Orbison streaming from a Bluetooth speaker and her grandkids running rampant, I saw her smile for the first time in a long time.

Mom had a good day today. And that makes me smile....

kw

Francis Scott Key Bridge - The Memories

As I rolled out of bed in the early morning, I checked the messages on my phone. I saw a strange message from Ken Jr regarding the collapse of the Francis Scott Key Bridge. I rubbed my eyes to ensure that they were seeing clearly. Then I checked the message again and the result was the same. So, I rushed downstairs where Tina was pouring her first cup of morning coffee. 

"Have you heard anything about the Key Bridge?", I asked.

She replied, "What are you talking about?"

I grabbed the remote and woke up the kitchen television. As the TV screen came to life, both of our jaws dropped. With a mangled collection of steel protruding out of the water in the background, the news headline confirmed what we did not want to hear...

My first recollections of the Key Bridge go back to when I was a young boy. My best friend's Dad (Mr. Don) worked at the old Bethlehem Steel plant in Sparrows Point. He would tell us how the bridge would make his daily commute to work so much easier. The steel plant would be located just past the east side of the bridge. The bridge construction was finally completed in 1977. I can't really remember the first time I personally went over the bridge, but I suspect that it was with Mr. Don. I remember that he always had a book of yellow tickets on the dashboard of his truck. These were the "frequent flyer" tickets that you could buy for a discount if you frequently traveled the bridge (or nearby Harbor Tunnel).

Years later, I remember getting my first speeding ticket on the bridge. The bridge was empty and a sudden thought of "What would Steve McQueen do?" overwhelmed me. So, after slowly proceeding through the toll booth on the east side (there was no EZ-Pass back then), I accelerated towards the top of the bridge. Sitting high atop the Patapsco River, I felt like an eagle with four wheels. As I approached the peak of the bridge, I was really cruising. As I started the descent on the Curtis Bay side of the bridge, I thought about letting off of the gas. But there were no other cars in front of me, so it was full speed ahead....

When I came off of the bridge, my peripheral vison quickly transitioned from the Patapsco River to a Maryland Transportation Authority Police car. Without slamming on the brakes, I tried my best to slow down before passing the MTA cop. I thought I might have decelerated just enough to stay off of his radar. As I made that familiar glance in my rearview mirror, I realized that I didn't. He came off of the shoulder of the road with his lights a-flashin'. He clocked me at 74 mph. I was actually relived that it was "only" 74. He gave me the speeding ticket and I proceeded home at the posted speed limit.

When I was a teenager, I would occasionally party with friends at Fort Armistead Park. The fort was built at the turn of the 20th century and initially served as a coastal defense base. But it was eventually abandoned and left to the partiers and graffiti artists. The park sat just at the foot of the Key Bridge. After knocking back a cooler full of Budweiser with friends, the bridge was always a magnificent sight as it stretched across the star-lit sky. Sitting on the edge of the river, you felt like you could almost reach out at touch it.

Several years later, I found myself working at the nearby US Gypsum plant. I worked in the manufacturing (or board department) part of the plant. But occasionally I would get "invited" to help unload one of the gypsum ships. These ships would travel down from Nova Scotia and propel their way under the Key Bridge to the Baltimore plant. Baltimore is the country's #1 importer of gypsum. There's a pretty good chance that you have some of it hanging on your walls. The finished product is better known as Sheetrock.

In more recent years, I would occasionally travel over the Key Bridge to get to places like Johns Hopkins and other downtown Baltimore sites. It was a great alternative way to get there. I never quite understood it, but my phone signal would always drop midway over the bridge. 

The familiar Baltimore landmark that I traveled over at marveled at for so many years is gone. In a matter of seconds, it was reduced to a pile of metal scattered in the river below. But the image of the Francis Scott Key Bridge standing firmly in front of the morning sun is something that I'll never forget...

kw

Francis Scott Key Bridge - The People

Baltimore woke up this morning to what seemed like a surreal gut-punch. Watching the video of the Francis Scott Key Bridge collapsing into the Patapsco River below was hard to absorb. Thoughts of an early April Fool’s prank immediately entered the mind. Sadly, this wasn’t the case…

I will share Key Bridge memories and my thoughts on the community impact later. But today, I just want to take a few minutes to talk about the victims and the people working behind the scenes.

When the bridge workers started their shift last night, they probably envisioned an uneventful night. The next morning would inevitably usher in a new day as they would head home to their families. Sadly, the night took a tragic turn and several of those workers are still unaccounted for. While we never want to give up hope, optimism is fading fast. The mission is still considered a search and rescue so let’s continue to focus on that. My heart goes out to the families who are, no doubt, being emotionally tortured right now.

As usual, our first responders immediately stepped up and went into action. Rescue divers unselfishly took to the frigid waters to begin the search. I can’t imagine what goes through the minds of these brave individuals. They are thrown into what seems like a hopeless situation. But they forge ahead anyway. 

And the folks who took immediate action to stop traffic seconds before the bridge collapsed need to be commended. There’s no telling how many lives they saved. And kudos to the dispatchers who quickly lined up the appropriate response teams following the collapse.

And I must give credit to Governor Wes Moore. The man has shown the steadiness of a true leader throughout the day. With the collapsed bridge looking in the background, he has given Marylanders hope that things are going to be ok. If pressure builds diamonds, this is his moment.

And if my previous paragraph surprises anyone, fasten your seat belts. I am also commending Mayor Brandon Scott and Baltimore County Executive Johnny Olszewski. These guys were called out in the middle of the night to deal with this unfathomable catastrophe. They have spent the day settling nerves and meeting with the families of the bridge workers. Transportation Secretary, Pete Buttigieg deserves credit as well. He showed up and responded accordingly. Enough said. We can debate politics another day. Times like this call for unity.

There are so many other people working behind the scenes that often don’t get mentioned. The folks who have assembled to provide food for the first responders and rescue workers. The healthcare personnel who are available for standby counseling. The local churches who organized support services. And the overall compassion that the entire community has shown.

The travel and economic impact of this will be dealt with later. For now, let’s continue to help each other through the emotional impact….

kw

 

 

 

Being Paul Stanley

It seems like I’m about the only person in the Baltimore area who wasn’t at the Kiss show earlier this week. I scrolled through countless photos and videos on Facebook after the show and it looks like it was a blast. The last time that I saw Kiss was back in 1996 on the original reunion tour at the now defunct Capital Centre (or was it the US Air Arena at that time?).  And while I thought the ticket price was a bit high at $50 back then, it pales in comparison to the prices of today. That’s one of the primary reasons that I don’t go to many shows these days. The other reason is that I like to be in bed by 10 o’clock. Yes, I know. I’m cheap, old, and boring. But let’s move on…

Anyone who has ever been to a Kiss show or seen a video of a Kiss show knows that Paul Stanley has always has a predictable banter with the audience. In his loud, powerful voice, he’ll introduce random songs with his personalized touch. For instance, he might say, “Hey y’all, I want to tell you something! When I’m up here on this stage, I can barely control my excitement! You guys have been a terrific audience and I want you to give yourself a round of applause! Now, it’s time to pull the trigger of my LOVE GUN!”

Paul has a real connection with the crowd. His intros are really effective in getting the fans primed for each song. With all of this being said, I’ve often wondered what would happen if I became Paul Stanley for a day. I’m not talking about painting a black star on my eye and parading around in platform boots. But I’d like to use Paul’s introductions for my everyday interactions.

For example, when I pass Tina in the kitchen first thing in the morning, I’ll say, “I see you over there by the coffee pot! You gotta ask yourself a question! You gonna use two Splendas or only one!? C’mon on now, make up your mind and stop standin’ ‘round like a HARD LUCK WOMAN!”

And when the Fedex guy comes strolling down my driveway, I’ll jump out of the bushes and startle him with, “As you deliver those boxes to the front of my door, I can tell that you’re workin’ yourself up quite a thirst! And when you’re workin’ hard, you don’t want no Coca-Cola! The only thing that will do is COLD GIN!”

For a bonus, I’ll immediately transition into an air guitar version of the intro riff to “Cold Gin” as he returns to his delivery truck.

Later on, as I make my way through the grocery store, I see that someone has dropped a jar of tomato sauce on the floor. Trying to get as much attention as possible from the Safeway shoppers, I shout, “Gather ‘round people! I can clearly see that we need a clean-up in aisle five! But don't let that get you down! Sometimes, when things don’t go as planned, a simple mop and bucket won’t do! No, no! Sometimes, people, you just gotta LICK IT UP!”

I’m not sure if I’ll ever be allowed back in the Safeway again. But at least I gave the crowd a much needed dose of Paul Stanley.

On the way home, I’m still feeling the adrenaline from the aisle five incident. Right on cue, I’m confronted with an aggressive driver. As we decelerate at the next red light, I roll down the window and yell, “So, let me get this right! You’re feeling like you own the road and nobody else matters to ya?! Well, let me tell you something! I’m gonna kick your ass all the way to DETROIT ROCK CITY”.

Later on, a door-to-door salesman makes the mistake of showing up at my house. I eagerly make my way to the door and greet him with, “Hey there, Mr’ Salesman! How ya doin’?!!

The salesman stands there with a bewildered look in his eyes and says nothing. He immediately realizes that he picked the wrong house to visit.

After letting him squirm for a minute, I follow up with, “I can’t hear you! I said, How ya doin’ tonight?!”

His bewilderment quickly transitions into fright. I then see my neighbor coming out of his house. So, I improvise with a crowd participation move.

“Now, let’s move over to the right side of the yard! Just to let you know, this salesguy ain’t showin’ me much. So, I’m gonna give the other side a chance. On the count of three, I’m gonna ask my neighbor Jack how he’s doin’! So listen up salesguy, and learn how it’s done! One…..Two….Three……”How you doin’, Jack!?!

Jack immediately throws his left hand up and says, “I’m good, Ken. How you doin’?!”

I respond with an enthusiastic, “Alright!”

And then turn my attention back to the salesguy. By this time, I can tell that he’s really feeling uncomfortable.

“So, let me ask you somethin’ now, Mr. Salesman! You saw what my neighbor Jack can do! You gonna let him show you up? I’m gonna give you one more chance! And this time, let’s not f*ck around! I said HOW YA DOIN’!?!”

He finally responds, “You’re not right. You need some serious help!”. And then he turns and walks away.

I step out onto my front step and deliver one final parting shot.

“Don’t get discouraged, Mr. Salesguy! When one door closes, another one opens! As you make your way down the street, you gotta ROCK AND ROLL ALL NIGHT AND PARTY EVERY DAY!!! Whooo!!!”

This causes him break into a run. He clearly wants no part of Paul Stanley today. I don’t think he’ll be trying to sell me any windows or gutters any time soon.

With all of this being said, Kiss has had a tremendous run of over 50 years. They wrap up their illustrious career at Madison Square Garden this weekend. It’s crazy that these guys can still perform after all of this time. Yeah, I know they can’t play and sing like they did in their prime. But c’mon! It’s Kiss! How can you not love them? They definitely know how to put on a show. And of course, Paul Stanley really knows how to connect with an audience.

kw

 

 

 

 

 

 

Saying Goodbye to a Pet

Our pets are a huge part of our lives. Much like the "comfort and joy" that you might experience from a familiar Christmas song, pets enrich our lives all year long. Unfortunately, there comes a time when will inevitably say, "Goodbye"....

When the decision comes to taking your pet to the veterinarian for the last time, it's never easy.  So many conflicting things go through your mind. Is it really time? Can we do something to prolong/improve his quality of life? Are we doing this more for us or the pet?......The hardest part is that once you made the final decision to euthanize your pet, there's no turning back. 

As callous as it might sound, if our pets just passed away in their sleep, it would make things much easier. I'm certainly not saying that it still won't hurt. But at least it takes away the mental torture of knowing whether or not that you made the right call at the right time.

While I'm in no way comparing the loss of a pet to a loss of a person, it still stings. Anyone who has ever had a connection with a beloved pet knows exactly what I'm talking about. 

A lot of people can't relate because they haven't had the direct interaction with the pet. For the most part, pet owners have an isolated connection with their animals. If your friend's pet passes away, you will sympathize with them because of the hurt that he/she feels. But you don't really feel the loss because you yourself haven't had that same interaction. I have heard some people say, "What's the big deal? It's just an animal?" While that mentality would definitely make the loss a lot less painful, it's not a realistic approach for most pet owners. We view our pets as part of the family.

Yesterday, Tina and I put our cat (Lester) down. We brought he and his brother (Lewis) into our home as kittens about 15 years ago. Although we wrestled with the decision, we knew that Lester's time had come. We thought about waiting another week or two to see if things improved. But we knew that we were just prolonging the inevitable. We went forward with it and we're both feeling the loss this weekend. And as a reassurance of Lester's absence, Lewis has been calling for his brother all morning.

Watching your pet pass away as the vet injects him with a sedative overdose is hard. And then seeing the vet put the stethoscope on his chest a few minutes later and confirming that he's gone is even harder.  But it pales in comparison to coming home and not seeing your pet greet you when you walk in the door. Scattered toys, blankets and food bowls will inevitably trigger memories in the following days. And they will all be good memories.....

kw

Labor Day 2023

Labor Day always evokes several emotions for me. On one hand, I'm happy for the long weekend. On the other hand, it signals the unofficial end of summer. Yeah, I know the summers on the east coast can be uncomfortable at times. But there's just something about summer that naturally makes me happy. Maybe it's the abundance of outdoor activity or maybe it's just the sun itself. Either way, I always get a little sad when the season is over. 

When I was a kid, Labor Day also signaled the beginning of the school year. For most kids, the Tuesday after Labor Day was the day everyone made their way to their new classroom. My elementary school did not have air conditioning, so the days of early September could be quite brutal. If you were really lucky, your teacher might bring an oscillating fan into the classroom. It basically just circulated the hot, damp air around the room. But it gave the illusion of a polar vortex. 

Modern day kids are now starting school before Labor Day. Even though I no longer have any skin in the game. I still don't like it. Let the kids have the extra week of summer!

Labor Day was made an official federal holiday in 1894 when it was signed into law by President Grover Cleveland. Initially, the holiday only applied to federal workers. But through subsequent years, all 50 states eventually followed suit and made the first Monday of September an official holiday for all. In case anyone is keeping score, Oregon was the first US state to officially declare Labor Day a holiday.

Of course, in our 24/7 world, not everyone can take the day off. Try to keep that in mind if you're out and about today. Consider throwing an extra bit of "nice-ness" to those folks who are keeping the wheels turning on this holiday weekend. If you happen to be at a bar/restaurant, add a few extra bucks to your tip. If you're at the check-out line at a grocery store, show the cashier some appreciation. If you see a first responder, thank them for what they do today and every day.

There is undoubtedly plenty of blood, sweat and tears that go into making this country so great. Today, we celebrate the hard-working people all over America. It doesn't really matter what particular duty they might perform. Everyone has a role to play.

At the very least, I hope everyone gets a chance to relax a bit today. Fire up the grill, crack a beer, laugh with some friends, etc. Today is your day. Enjoy it!

kw

Jimmy Buffett - Sailing Off into the Sunset

Although I was never a "Parrot Head", I always loved the vibe of Jimmy Buffet's music. There was a special kind of connection that his songs had with the listener. Who could pass up an opportunity to be transported to a tropical island surrounded by good times and boat drinks? Even if it was virtual? Triggering emotions, especially pleasurable ones, is what the best songwriters do. And Jimmy Buffett certainly did that. His songs were a mix of fun and positivity.

We've all heard the term "a picture is worth a thousand words". I also think that a simple sentence can deliver the same result. Buffett made a habit of doing this through his songs. A few examples:

• "Go fast enough to get there, but slow enough to see"
• "Wrinkles will only go where the smiles have been"
• "If the phone doesn't ring, it's me"
• "I'd rather die while I'm living than live when I'm dead"
• "If we couldn't laugh, we would all go insane"
• "If life gives you limes, make margaritas"

I was first introduced to Buffett as a young kid when "Margaritaville" was getting a lot of airplay on the local radio stations. I didn't quite get the song as a youngster. I didn't even know what a Margarita was. But nonetheless, I thought it was a catchy tune. Through the years, "Margaritaville" became a crowd favorite at sporting events, karaoke bars and pretty much anywhere. (In the same fashion as the "Bah-Bah-Bah" addition in Neil Diamond's "Sweet Caroline", I always hated the "Salt-Salt-Salt" line that was added to the chorus of "Margaritaville" by the bar crowds.)

Self-described as "drunken Caribbean rock and roll" and "Gulf and Western", Buffett's music was synonymous with a good time. He produced the same euphoric effect as Bob Marley. Is it just a coincidence that Buffett named his back-up band the Coral Reefers? And more recently, Kenny Chesney took a page out of Buffett's book and launched his own successful beach-themed career. And Buffett's collaboration with Alan Jackson on "It's Five O'clock Somewhere" gave an added dose of inspiration to day-drinkers everywhere.

There was a "Cheeseburger In Paradise" bar/restaurant in my hometown of Pasadena, MD. Tina and I used to love going there for dinner and drinks. With Jimmy Buffett tunes playing over the sound system, it was always a festive time. No doubt, I drank my share of Landshark lager there. Unfortunately, it closed a few years ago and it has since been transformed into "Oscar's Alehouse". Although we still occasionally go there and do enjoy it, it's not quite the same.

Sadly, Jimmy Buffet sailed off for the final time a few days ago at the age of 76. While his faithful Parrot Heads will never get to see him play live again, his music will forever be part of their lives. Similar to a Timex watch, Buffett's music will no doubt keep on ticking for generations to come.

kw