A Dunkin' Dilemma

A couple of weeks ago, I had a craving for a cup of coffee. So, I decide to stop by the local Dunkin’ Donuts.

As I pull up into the parking lot, I sense that something just isn’t right. There has to be at least twenty-five cars on the lot. I would expect this if it was a parking lot for a bar on a Friday night. But this was a doughnut shop!

I have second thoughts about going in. But as I glance through the window, I see that’s there’s no one in line. How can this be? So, I park my car and venture inside.

When I get through the door, I notice that the place is full of mostly senior citizens. And it doesn’t look like they're in any hurry to leave. They’re fully engaged in a loud conversation as I walk in. I instantly learn that someone named Mildred just received a hip replacement. And at an adjacent table, a group of guys are debating their personal experiences with Viagra. But things quickly get quiet when they notice me. You could have heard a pin drop. It was obvious that I was an “outsider”.

It was like I had mistakenly wandered onto the turf of a West Baltimore street gang. Thier attention was on me now. I could feel their eyes burning through me. And then, a couple of them started to whisper to each other. This couldn't be good. At this point, I seriously considered bolting towards the exit. But before I could make a move, an old dude gets up and hobbles towards the counter. I’m not sure if he’s coming for a donut or if he's coming to shank me.

So nonchalantly, I meet him halfway and quietly say, “Hey man, how’s it going? I’m just here for a cup of coffee. I’m not looking for any trouble, OK?”

He looks at me like I’m nuts and just shakes his head. I was instantly relieved. I really thought I was about to get jumped by a bunch caffeine crazed seniors! I eventually got my coffee. As I was walking out, I couldn’t help but keep glancing over my shoulder. I thought they might be setting me up for an ambush, so I didn’t want to let my guard down. Luckily, I made it back to my car without incident.

It’s quite obvious that the old folks have staked their ground at the double D and they don’t like trespassers. So, if you ever find yourself in the situation that I just described, try not to panic. Just get your coffee and move on.. And don’t make eye contact!

As always, I’m just trying to help……..

KW