All of these sound formidable to some degree. After all, isn’t the idea to intimidate the opposing team? With that being said, I have to wonder about the thought that went behind some of the team’s names. Here are a few that I don’t completely understand:
Oregon Ducks – Unless you just washed your car, how could you be intimidated of a bunch of ducks?
Bucknell Bison – Just sounds like a bunch of bullsh*t to me.
Idaho Vandals – What do they do to warm up, spray paint graffiti on the backboards?
USC Trojans – Come on! Condoms can’t play basketball!
Utah Runnin' Utes - Reminds me of the scene in My Cousin Vinny where the cook asks Joe Pesci, "What the hell's a yute?"
Marist Red Foxes - After a bad play, I wonder if the coach ever yells, "Hey, you big dummy"!
Notre Dame Fighting Irish – Sure, a pissed off Irish guy is a great mascot. But what’s he doing representing a school with a French name?
West Virginia Mountaineers – I don’t know, this one just sounds too much like a sequel to Deliverance.
Stanford Cardinal – What happened to the “s”?
Delta State Fighting Okra - A fighting asparagus could be a little intimidating. A fighting okra, not so much...
Oregon State Beavers – Really? Do I even have to explain why this name might be a bad idea?
Nebraska Corn Huskers - Nothing intimidates another team like a bunch of guys husking corn.
Vanderbilt Commodores – I guess these guys enter the court singing, “She’s a brick house??”
St. Mary Gaels – Hail, Hail, Hail! What the hell’s a Gael???
Houston Cougars – Can a bunch of horny middle aged women really be taken seriously??
Arizona State Sun Devils – Sponsored by Coppertone?
Kent. St. Golden Flashes - Sounds too much like a symptom of menopause.
On a positive note, here are some of my favorite mascots: the Wake Forest Demon Deacons, the UNLV Runnin’ Rebels, the Crimson Tide of Alabama, and the Maryland Terrapins (did I mention that it’s a bad ass turtle?)
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