The Frog In The Window Well

For as long as I remember, I've been saving creatures at the request of Tina the animal lover. If a spider or ladybug is spotted, the alarm (in the form of Tina yelling, "Ken! There's a bug in the house!") will go off and I head off into action. And of course, killing the bug, no matter how ugly it is, is never an option. It's strictly catch and release in the Wilson household (well, at least while Tina's at home).

Last night, I was relaxing on the couch getting ready to watch the latest Jennifer Aniston movie. Just when I thought it was safe, Tina yells in from the garage, "Ken, come here! Quick!" Since we were experiencing a thunderstorm, I though maybe we had a leak in the roof or something along those lines. Well, when I get outside, I see Tina looking into one of the basement window wells. She looks up and says, "You gotta save him." It turns out that a large frog had fallen into the well which is about four feet deep. It doesn't sound like that big of a deal to you or me, but to a frog it's like falling into the abyss.

I must mention that this was no a typical Pasadena frog. This guy was neon green and about the size of a softball. He also had these long "fingers" that, quite honestly, freaked me out a little. It looked like something you might see in an Amazon rain forest  after consuming some bad hallucinogenics (so I've been told).

Having been through this drill many times before, I head over to the pool to grab the long skimmer net. Now, keep in mind, it's starting to rain like hell, but I'm a professional and keep my mind focused on the evacuation of this creature. I gently lower the net down into the pit hoping the the frog won't notice. But once I get within a few inches, he starts hopping back and forth. I try several more times with no luck. Getting frustrated and drenched, I was ready to open the basement window and let the cats catch the elusive bastard. But I know that wasn't an option with Tina close by.


Sensing my desperation, Tina hands me a couple of miniature sized lacrosse sticks form the garage. Figuring, I was now in business, I went to work with my new tools. I finally got him trapped under one of the lacrosse sticks. This really freaked him out and he let out this loud ear-piercing shriek which scared the hell out of me! Stumbling backward, I dropped one of the sticks into the well. But determined not to be defeated, I retrieved the stick and went after him again. This time, he tried another defense tactic by inflating himself like a balloon. He looked like Kermit The Frog on steroids! Going back for another try, I finally caught him in the net of the lacrosse stick. As I tried to lower the other stick on top, he actually grabbed it with his long fingered hands and seemed to be pushing it away. I'm not kidding you, I haven't seen fingers on a creature like that since I saw "ET- The Extra Terrestrial" (I would have recorded it on video, but I was kind of busy). I was really afraid that this "poor defenseless frog" might actually grab one of the lacrosse sticks and beat my ass with it! What the hell did Tina get me into this time??

But perseverance finally paid off as I flipped the frog into the air and out of the window well. He hopped a short distance away and then stopped to take a long look back. Tina was worried that he would jump back in. I told her that if he did, he was on his own as I walked my rain-soaked ass back into the house. The things that I go through to keep everyone happy......

kw