Sunday, February 23, 2014

A Day In Fells Point

So, the day started off with a lunch outing with my sister-in-law & brother-in-law (Toni & John). Although I was still a little steamed about my $32 parking ticket from yesterday, here I was, venturing back into Baltimore City. At least I was driving this time...

We stopped off at the Sip & Bite on Boston Street. While the iconic city diner has plenty of history and tradition, it lacks elbow room. Pinned back in a corner booth, I felt like I was eating lunch on a crowded airplane. An older couple sitting at the counter practically had their asses on our table. In an almost surreal moment, the woman raised herself off the bar stool and sounded the butt trumpet. John and I looked at each other in amazement as we simultaneously thought, "Did she really just do that?" Of course, the woman goes back to eating her lunch like nothing happened.

Meanwhile, the couple in the next booth was have their own issues. At one point, the woman says to her husband, "So, is this where you bring your other bitches?" Not exactly what I would consider casual lunchtime conversation. But aside from all of this, the food was good and the staff and owner were very friendly.

We settled up at the Sip & Bite and prepared to head over to nearby Fells Point. As we walked back to our car, we had to practically hurdle over the random piles of dog shit that were deposited along the sidewalks. I guess there's a shortage of plastic bags in the city?

We arrived in Fells Point and made our way along Broadway. It had been over twenty years since I strolled past these bars and eateries. We stopped off at one of the bars to have a beer. As I surveyed the small bar-top menu, I was a bit surprised to see that a Baltimore bar was offering drink specials during Syracuse games. But I guess even Terps fans could be persuaded to root for the Orangemen if the price is right.

We stopped off at the next place. John & I grabbed a round of beers and then we headed to the outdoor patio in the back to burn a cigar. A woman, who resembled Joey Ramone, came out and sat at a nearby table. While she appeared to be having a conversation with someone else, she struck up a brief conversation with us. At first I thought that maybe she had a Bluetooth earpiece and was having a simultaneous phone conversation. But it turned out that it wasn't the case. Apparently, she was just having a Sybil moment.

While John & I were finishing our cigars, Tina & Toni decided to walk up the street to another place. We eventually met up with the girls at an outdoor table on Thames Street. With the surprisingly warm temperature today, there was plenty of pedestrian traffic. And it seemed like at least half of these pedestrians were dog-walking young women in black yoga pants. Tina & Toni commented on the cuteness of the various dogs while John & I silently appreciated the owners' wardrobe selection.

A short time later, the vision of cute dogs and tight yoga pants was abruptly erased by a guy walking his pot-belly pig. It was like someone dumping a cold bucket of water on our heads (This seems to be a recurring theme with me!). The girls thought that the pig was cute, but all I could see was a slab of bacon and some baby back ribs. One passerby actually asked the owner, "So, when are you going to eat him?" Even though it was technically pork, it was probably an insensitive to say about a someone's pet.

Anyway, seeing this guy walk his pig along the cobblestone street was quite a strange thing to grasp. At that point, we figured it was good time to call it a day and head back to the suburbs....

kw

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