It's Raining On Eutaw Street

When I venture into the inner city of Baltimore, I never know what oddities await me. Case in point, earlier today I was driving near the "World Famous" Lexington Market. As I began to make a right turn onto Eutaw Street, a disheveled man walked in front of my car. He seemed to be oblivious to anything around him. As the guy took a couple more awkward steps, he appeared to be pissing in the middle of the downtown street. To confirm my suspicion, he turned in my direction with his d*ck firmly planted in hand. Just what I needed to see first thing in the morning, huh?

As the guy continued to relieve his bladder all over Eutaw Street, people casually walked past him without blinking an eye. It was only when the guy started to pee from side to side that people started to give him distance. One guy nearly got his shoes acid-washed. But he was able to jump out of the way just in the nick of time.

Baltimore is not really known for dragons but this guy was definitely draining one!

Meanwhile, an overweight woman near the market entrance was yelling, "Anybody holdin' any loose one's??" (I'm assuming that she was looking to buy some loose cigarettes)

I fought back the urge to yell back, "Hey, I think this guy in front of my car is holding a loose one!"

And just as I start to laugh, the pissing guy does a complete 360 in the middle of the street. The whole time, a steady stream of  piss was flowing abundantly. He looked like some type of urban lawn sprinkler as the urine made a perfect circle around him. Like a stray dog, the guy almost seemed to be marking his territory. I could see the corner street vendor getting really nervous as the guy moved towards the corner. I can certainly understand why. I imagine that it would be kind of tough to sell those multi-color hair weaves after this guy gave them a golden shower.

Overall, the guy didn't appear too healthy. I'm assuming that drugs and alcohol had taken their toll on him. But from the way he was blasting way, I'm pretty sure that he didn't have any prostrate issues. Maybe they should call this guy out to California to fight some of those forest fires. After a few bottles of Knotty Head, he could probably extinguish at least four or five acres. I'm pretty sure he could find some work as a power washer as well.

The guy eventually staggered across the intersection. And fortunately for the street vendor, the guy's bladder was finally empty. On that note, I seized the opportunity to flee the scene. There's no way that I wanted to be around when this guy felt a bowel movement coming on.....

kw