Scents of a Springtime Drive

Yesterday afternoon, I was driving along with the windows down. The weather was unseasonably warm for an early spring day. Thinking of the classic Foghat song, it was a great opportunity for a slow ride and taking it easy. As I made my way across a local drawbridge, the smell of the water below made me think of springtime and all of the good things that come along with it. A small scattering of boaters on the creek reinforced the feeling.

Making my way to the other side of the bridge, the smell of grilled steak filled the air. Passing by a local BBQ place, I fought the urge to stop for a pit beef sandwich. But I knew I couldn't thoroughly enjoy an authentic pit beef sandwich without a cold beer So, knowing that I had places to go and people to see, I continued on my journey.

At some point, an unwelcome stench began to fill the cabin of my car. I'm not sure what it was or where it was coming from. All I can tell you is that it was putrid and it ambushed me with reckless abandon. If I had to describe it, I would say that it smelled like something crawled up a skunk's ass and died. It was actually worse than that. It smelled like whatever was up that skunk's ass was two weeks into the decomposition stage. I shook my head from side to side in an effort to capture any available pocket of fresh air. But the attempt was futile and I desperately fought the urge to gag. I instinctively rolled up the windows but this only trapped the tainted air that was already inside the car. (This situation would have been really uncomfortable if I would have had passengers in the car as everyone would have suspected that someone had floated a biscuit.) So anyway, I rolled the windows back down, including the ones in the back. and I punched the accelerator in hopes of generating maximum airflow. I eventually made it through the "turbulence" and came out the other side stunned but still conscious. As I stopped at a red light, I tried to figure out what the hell had just assaulted my nasal passage.

Well, the smorgasbord of smells wasn't quite over just yet. As I sat at the light in a state of semi-consciousness, the distinct aroma of marijuana presented itself. While I'm not a pot smoker, I have to admit, it was a much better smell than what I had experienced a few minutes ago. The source of the smoke was the car in front of me. It contained a group of youngsters who appeared to be auditioning for the remake of "Up In Smoke". I thought that I heard "Low Rider" in the distance, but this could have just been my imagination. As the sweet smoke made it's way into to my vehicle, my urge for pit beef slowly transitioned to a craving for Taco flavored Doritos. Knowing that I was dangerously close to catching a contact-high, I pulled into the next lane to get upwind. As I changed positions, The Chum Gang cut across two lanes of traffic and made a bee-line towards a Royal Farms store. Their quest for munchies obviously outweighed any regard for public safety.

While all of this was going on, I remembered that I had one of those tree-shaped air fresheners in the glove box. So, I opened it and hung it on my rear view mirror. Quickly, all of the other smells were flushed away by the fragrance of synthetic vanilla. Figuring that this was about as good as it was going to get, I took a deep breath made the most of it.....

kw