Sunday, August 5, 2018

Richmond - Breakfast & Beer

Last week, I found myself in Richmond, Virginia for a business trip. When I travel, I usually try to stay at one of the local Hilton hotels. One of my favorite brands of the Hilton chain is the Embassy Suites. Aside from the spacious rooms, they also have a nice breakfast every morning and an "evening reception" every night. The reception is basically a free happy hour. And if it's free and it makes you happy, it's definitely for me!

The morning breakfast is always interesting. They have these stainless steel bins loaded up with bacon, sausage, eggs, etc. I'm not really much of a breakfast person but I tend to make an exception when I stay here. As I survey the room on my first day, the first thing that I notice is that the food supply is about to take a pounding. I don't want to be insensitive, but let's just say that there were some pretty robust people in the house. I swear, I saw one stoutly woman load her plate up with at least five pounds of bacon. Maybe it was her idea of a low-carb diet, I dunno. But, nonetheless, I felt the urge to call 911. I just couldn't see anyone ingesting that much cholesterol in one sitting without some kind of medical intervention.

On another note, I always like those toasters they have at these places. You lay your slices of bread on a small conveyor belt and a couple minutes later you have toast. It's like a David Copperfield trick! The problem with this is that there's always some inconsiderate prick who will abandon his toast. This usually causes a back-up with my toast which requires me to fish it out with a fork (I would normally just reach in with my fingers. However, people look at you funny if you don't use tongs or a fork to fetch your food in these places).

And I can't stand the people who tie up the coffee line. Instead of stepping aside to prepare their cup of java, they'll stand in front the dispenser for 5 minutes while they fumble with packs of Splenda and mini-cups of Half-and-Half. I am not a violent person but I have fought the urge to punch these people. Congestion in the coffee line can have a mood-altering effect on people.

And speaking of mood-altering effects, let's talk about the "evening reception". Starting at 5:30 every night, the Embassy Suites opens up their much-anticipated Happy Hour (since it goes on until 7:30, it actually two happy hours). It's an opportunity to unwind with your co-workers or to mingle with the other hotel guests.

Your choices of adult beverages are usually limited to a couple of domestic draft beers and the normal variety of cheap wine and liquor. If you're looking for a glass of Chateau Margaux or a splash of Grey Goose, you're probably going to be disappointed. Speaking of Geese, I was happy to see that this Embassy Suites was offering a Goose Island IPA as one of it's draft beers. Amazingly, some people were still opting for the alternative beer choice, Miller Lite. C'mon, man!

And similar tp the people who selfishly impede the coffee line in the morning, there are people who do the same in the bar line in the evening. For instance, although the sign clearly states the wine choices are limited to Cabernet, Pinot Noir, Pinot Grigio and Moscato, there will be that one person who will demand a glass of White Zinfandel. This will inevitably cause the bartender to go look for the manager as the rest of us stand in line imagining subtle ways to kick the legs out from under the moron. And there are also those people who will order mixed drinks that take ten minutes to make. Rule of thumb, if there's a long line of irritated people behind you, don't order anything that contains more than two liquids. Order a rum and Coke, I hear it's a good combination (and don't bitch because the rum isn't a Ron Zacapa XO!).

Anyway, I eventually make it the front of the line and secure my Goose Island IPA. Sipping the hoppy goodness, I make my way to a vacant table as the stress of the day slowly fades into the background.....

kw





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