Pho King Awesome (A Dining Experience)

While I was in San Jose a couple of weeks ago, I was introduced to some new foods. There's a heavy Asian population in the San Jose/San Francisco area, so it stands to reason that there's no shortage of Chinese, Korean and Vietnamese cuisine. If you went into shopping center where there were ten restaurants. seven or eight of them would specialize in some sort of Asian fare.

One of the more interesting places was called Pho Tau Bay. As my friends led me into the restaurant, I half expected to see a tropical themed place similar to Cheeseburger In Paradise. However, this place was quite the contrary. Methodically lined in neat rows, uneventful tables filled the dining area. As we sat down, my friends, who were much more versed in this type of cuisine, informed my that we were about to dine on pho (pronounced "fah"). As long as it wasn't fish eyeballs or bull testicles, I was game for almost anything. (Of course, the four Anchor Steam lager's that I had prior to dinner had lowered any inhibitions that I might have had.)

We look over the menu and we all settle on the house specialty. It consists of a bowl of thin noodles in a beef broth with a variety of "fixins" on the side. The dish also comes with thinly sliced pieces of filet mignon. We have the choice of a regular size bowl or a large one. Although we're not in Texas, we take "bigger is better" approach and order the large version. After all, it was only $10. How big could it be?

They must have had this stuff already prepared because within a few minutes, the waiter was already walking towards us with two large bowls. Actually large is an understatement. You could have bathed in these things. When the guy put the bowls down on the table, my firs thought was that these were community bowls and that we would somehow split the contents between the six us us. But before I wrapped my head around it, the waiter retreats and then returns with a couple more bowls. And after that, he brought numbers five and six. And after that, he started to bring out the various garnishments. And then lastly, out came the individual portions of raw steak.

Now, I've eaten sushi before but I had never eaten raw beef. And frankly, even with the liquid courage flowing through my blood-steam, I wasn't thrilled about it. I never had to worry about this kind of thing at the Outback. As I stared at the red meat on the plate in fornt of me, I mentally prepared for the inevitable.

Thankfully, one of my friends informed my that you put the meat in the hot broth to cook it. I am so glad these guys were there. Otherwise, I would have been gnawing on the raw meat like a vulture on a piece of roadkill.

So, I pick up a piece of the blood soaked steak and drop it into the soup. I was pleasantly surprised to see that the cooking process was actually happening. So,  I proceeded to dump the rest of the meat into the bowl.

When I was confident that the meat wasn't going to "moo" at me, I prepared to dine. But there's was one problem...I had no silverware. I announced that I was going to grab the waiter to secure a fork and spoon. But one of my buds quickly informed that this was an authentic Vietnamese diner and that the "silverware" was right in front of me. All I saw was a pair of chopsticks. I impulsively responded, "You're kidding, right?"

I can understand trying to a solid piece of food with chopsticks. But how in the hell do you eat soup with them? It's liquid!

Nonetheless, when in Rome.......

So, I fumbled with the chopsticks and fished out whatever piece of noodle or steak I could grab. After a little practice, I was pulling stuff out of the cavernous bowl like a pro. I looked like one of the Deadliest Catch guys pulling a King Crab out of the Bering Sea. The flavor of the combination of beef, broth and the thin noodles was incredible.

The problem was that we were no match for the gigantic portions. So, most of us left at least half a bowl behind. I didn't want to insult the staff so I told the waiter how great it was. He just looked at me with a blank face. In his defense, I don't think he (or any of the staff) spoke a word of English. But that's part of the authentic experience, right?

All in all, an interesting experience that will likely result in a return visit.....

kw

Lost At The Great Mall

A couple of weeks ago, I had to travel to San Jose to attend an orientation class for my new company. The long travel day was made even longer by a 6+ hour layover in Los Angeles. I did my best to pass the time by watching the Sunday football games on the limited number of TVs. This particular area was extremely crowded so getting a seat at one of the two bars was nearly impossible.

Eventually, I boarded my flight and headed north to San Jose. Landing a short time later, I gathered up my bags and ventured outside to catch an Uber to the hotel. About ten minutes later, I received notification that my driver had arrived. According to the Uber app, he was driver a Toyota Prius. I surveyed the area only to discover that there were no less than ten Prius's within throwing distance. Before I even got a chance to interrogate the first one, my app informed me that my driver had left! So, I immediately called for another. Fortunately, the second guy had the courtesy to call me and tell me that I was in standing in a "no pick-up" zone. So, he instructed me where to go and picked me up a couple of minutes later.

Once I got to the hotel, I began to unpack. It appeared that I had forgot to bring my razor. While most guys have no problem going a day or two without shaving, I do. So, I decided to venture over to the shopping mall across the street from the hotel in search of a razor. As I pass a Chinese restaurant, I enter The Great Mall (yes, that's actually the name of the place).

I walk around the perimeter of the mall no less than three times before I realize that there's no drugstore. So, I walk into one of those "everything's a dollar" stores, hoping that I can find a cheap package of Bic's. But no luck. So, I accept the reality that I'm going to have to show up for tomorrow's class with a face full of stubble.

So I look for the exit. The problem is that there are lots of exits and I can't remember where I entered. I walked around and tried almost every escape route. The only landmark that I have to orient me is the Chinese restaurant that I saw on the way in. But I can't seem to locate it. After walking completely around the mall again, I decide to look at one of the directories. I search under the restaurant header but the only Asian restaurants seem to be in the food court. And I know for a fact that I didn't come in anywhere near the food court.

So, I decide to walk outside in hopes of getting a better bearing on my location. My hotel is only a couple of blocks away so I figure it shouldn't be too hard to find. The problem was that it was now dark and all of the surrounding buildings looked the same. Panic began to set it. I really wished I would have dropped a trail of breadcrumbs on the way in.

I thought about calling an Uber but I figured the guy would laugh at me for the entire 2-block ride. So, I swallowed my pride and decided to do what no man ever wants to do: ask for directions. The first couple I approached didn't speak English so I moved on. The second person I approached didn't speak English either. I repeated this scenario with several more people with the same results: No hablos Ingles.

Childhood anxieties came rushing back as I recalled the first time I got separated from my parents in a public place.

I gave up and proceeded to walk around the entire perimeter of the mall. I eventually stumbled on the elusive Chinese restaurant on the edge of the mall. It was called the Mayflower. No wonder I couldn't find it on the directory. When I think of Mayflower I think of either Pilgrims or Colt thieves. I certainly don't think of a Chinese restaurant.

Drenched in perspiration, I finally make my way back to the hotel. My legs were actually starting to cramp up. I really should have grabbed a drink while I was doing laps around the mall. But thankfully, I made it back to the hotel without collapsing. As I walked past the desk person, he asked if I had a good evening. I explained that I had just finished exploring the mall. He then informed me that it is a great place for mall walkers because a complete walk around the mall is exactly one mile. Figuring that I walked around the mall no less than eight times (at a very brisk pace), I felt like I got my exercise in for the month.

Perhaps the most amazing thing about the whole evening......When I got back to my room, there was a razor on the bathroom sink. I swear that I don't remember seeing it there. That was the whole reason I walked over to the mall! It really freaked me out. Was someone playing a game with me? At this point, I really didn't care. It had been a very long day and I just wanted to get some sleep......

kw