Some of the principles of attachment parenting* include:
- Feed your child (ideally via breastfeeding) with love and respect
- Respond to the child with sensitivity. In other words, try to understand why your child is throwing a temper tantrum instead of resorting to punishment
- Use nurturing touch. Examples of this would be joint baths or "baby-wearing" in which you carry your child around all day in a front-facing sling
- Practice positive discipline. If a child acts out with negative behavior, the parent should try to understand what the child is trying to "communicate". Parents are encouraged to work out a solution with the child rather than punishment such as spanking
All right, I can't take any more of this! Is it any wonder why so many of today's kids are undisciplined, disrespectful and lack ambition? Is providing a constant security blanket really going to prepare the child for the real world? This isn't France, this is America for God's sake! What are we doing to our kids??
I'm certainly no doctor or philosopher but I did participate in raising a successful, self-sufficient child. So, that should give me at least a little credibility. With that being said, here are what I feel are some of the correct principles in raising a child. I'll refer to them as "Real-World Principles for Successful Child Development":
- Encourage your child to excel, but don't be afraid to let them fail. When the child achieves success, let them know that it is recognized and appreciated. When failure happens, look at it as a golden teaching opportunity. In life, there are times you will stumble and fall. It's how many times you get back up that really matters. Acknowledge your child's progress to build self-esteem.
- A child must respect the parent. If it takes an occasional smack on the ass to gain that respect, so be it.
- When possible, let your kids work out their own problems, letting them know that you will be there for guidance and support. This will help teach them responsibility.
- Teach your kids to respect others and to be compassionate to those who might not be as fortunate
- Encourage your child to meet new friends. This will help develop social and interpersonal skills that will benefit him/her later in life. Getting them involved in team sports and other activities at a young age is a great start.
- Teach your kids to stand up for themselves. Although there's a "zero-tolerance" rule in most of today's schools, let your child know that he/she doesn't have to take any crap from others (specifically bullies). If a kid gets suspended for defending himself, I have an issue with the school system, not the child.
- Try to eat dinner together as a family. As simple as this sounds, it's a great way to keep an open dialogue with your kids.
- As they reach their teenage years, let them begin to "pull their own weight". If they want something bad enough, let them earn it. This will teach them the value of a dollar as well as independence. In the real world, every day is not Christmas. Don't condition your child to think that it is.
- When moral lines are crossed, encourage your child to own up to it and take the necessary steps to make things right. This builds character and integrity.
- Enforce your rules. If the child breaks a rule, there must be consequences. This will teach accountability.
I'm sure I left a few out. But in a nutshell, I believe in the old school method of raising kids and I don't agree with the practice of pampering kids. Maybe you agree with me or maybe you think that I'm clueless. But it's a tough world out there, and I think we owe it to our kids to make sure they're prepared for it. Carrying them around in a "front-facing sling" until they're teenagers sure doesn't sound like a good plan to me.....
kw
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