So, I walk into the store and was happy to discover that it wasn't crowded. I only had to pick up a few things, so I figured I could complete my shopping in about 10 minutes. However, there would be one huge obstacle that would add considerable time to my visit. That obstacle came in the form of old people.
I'm not kidding you, it was like all of the area nursing homes had planned a field trip at Wally World today. There were walkers and canes everywhere. And the motorized scooters were buzzing around the pharmacy like a geriatric version of The Jetsons. And to be fair, aside from the aid of a shopping cart, there were actually a few that were fit enough to independently maneuver themselves around the store. Of course, they would bump into a shelf and knock a few items onto the floor, but who's really keeping score?
As I head down a random aisle, I approach an old guy who's studying the label on a bottle of Metamucil. I reach the point where I'm going to pass him. It's then that he decides to turn his shopping cart around. I nearly hit him broadside as his cart is now perpendicular with the aisle. He works the cart into a 3-point turn, nearly running over my big toe. During the entire maneuver, the guy remains expressionless and doesn't make a sound. He eventually rights his ship and then slowly makes his way down and out of the aisle.
I quickly grab my items and then head down the next aisle to grab some toothpaste. There, I'm greeted by two robust women on Wal-scooters. They're having a casual conversation and don't seem to be in any hurry to get to point B. They seem oblivious to the fact they've got the entire aisle blocked. Getting a little annoyed, I push my cart in their direction. Although they clearly see me coming, neither of them makes an effort to move out the way. Childhood memories of bumper cars raced through my mind and I get a sudden urge to go get my own scooter. I could imagine the look on the old ladies' faces as I whipped around the corner with my scooter. Nearly tipping over from the inertia, I would balance my scooter on it's two left wheels before gravity allowed the right ones to recontact the floor. I would race towards the husky women with as much speed as the rechargeable battery would permit. As I crashed through their scooters, I would grab a box of Crest off the shelf with reckless precision. Yes!
Back to reality....
I approach the women and say, "Excuse me, ladies. Can I squeeze by you?"
I receive an acknowledgement in the form of a grunt as one of the women fires up her scooter and moves it a few feet closer to the shelves. Even though the scooter did most of the work, the woman appeared to have exerted a fair amount of energy. But nonetheless, it gave me just enough room to make it through.
Not wanting to deal with any more of this nonsense, I headed towards the checkout lines. I glanced down each open line to gauge the one with the shortest wait time. I finally found one with only one elderly couple in it. So, I pulled in behind them. They were loading their items up on the belt at a snail's pace. I almost offered to help them but I didn't want to insult them. So, I waited it out by examining the various varieties of beef jerky hanging on the wall. They even had turkey jerky. Who knew? Anyway, the old couple's items were finally all scanned and it came time to pay. Unlike most old people that pay with cash, this couple had a credit card. The tried to swipe it several times with no luck, The cashier then asked them if their card had a chip in it. The lady said, "Chips? No, we didn't buy any chips."
"No, ma'am," replied the cashier. "I'm asking you if you're credit card has a chip in it."
Visibly confused, the lady looks at her husband for help. He just shrugs his shoulders and says, "I dunno."
The cashier then asks for the card and inserts it into the chip reader. There seems to be an issue with the reader and/or card. The cashier then blows on it and rubs it on her shirt. I'm thinking that I might be here for a while. After about the fourth try, the transaction finally goes through. Thank God for small miracles.
The cashier hands the old lady her receipt and wishes her a good day. I prepare to advance my cart. But the old couple aren't quite finished yet. They linger at the end of the line a little longer. The cashier looks at me and we exchanged a smile knowing that we're just going to have to wait it out.
I finally get my few items checked out and I'm out my way to the parking lot. As I pull my car out of the parking space, I'm extra careful to avoid the numerous cars that appear to be on auto-pilot. Hitting the open road, I finally breathe a sigh of relief......
kw
I quickly grab my items and then head down the next aisle to grab some toothpaste. There, I'm greeted by two robust women on Wal-scooters. They're having a casual conversation and don't seem to be in any hurry to get to point B. They seem oblivious to the fact they've got the entire aisle blocked. Getting a little annoyed, I push my cart in their direction. Although they clearly see me coming, neither of them makes an effort to move out the way. Childhood memories of bumper cars raced through my mind and I get a sudden urge to go get my own scooter. I could imagine the look on the old ladies' faces as I whipped around the corner with my scooter. Nearly tipping over from the inertia, I would balance my scooter on it's two left wheels before gravity allowed the right ones to recontact the floor. I would race towards the husky women with as much speed as the rechargeable battery would permit. As I crashed through their scooters, I would grab a box of Crest off the shelf with reckless precision. Yes!
Back to reality....
I approach the women and say, "Excuse me, ladies. Can I squeeze by you?"
I receive an acknowledgement in the form of a grunt as one of the women fires up her scooter and moves it a few feet closer to the shelves. Even though the scooter did most of the work, the woman appeared to have exerted a fair amount of energy. But nonetheless, it gave me just enough room to make it through.
Not wanting to deal with any more of this nonsense, I headed towards the checkout lines. I glanced down each open line to gauge the one with the shortest wait time. I finally found one with only one elderly couple in it. So, I pulled in behind them. They were loading their items up on the belt at a snail's pace. I almost offered to help them but I didn't want to insult them. So, I waited it out by examining the various varieties of beef jerky hanging on the wall. They even had turkey jerky. Who knew? Anyway, the old couple's items were finally all scanned and it came time to pay. Unlike most old people that pay with cash, this couple had a credit card. The tried to swipe it several times with no luck, The cashier then asked them if their card had a chip in it. The lady said, "Chips? No, we didn't buy any chips."
"No, ma'am," replied the cashier. "I'm asking you if you're credit card has a chip in it."
Visibly confused, the lady looks at her husband for help. He just shrugs his shoulders and says, "I dunno."
The cashier then asks for the card and inserts it into the chip reader. There seems to be an issue with the reader and/or card. The cashier then blows on it and rubs it on her shirt. I'm thinking that I might be here for a while. After about the fourth try, the transaction finally goes through. Thank God for small miracles.
The cashier hands the old lady her receipt and wishes her a good day. I prepare to advance my cart. But the old couple aren't quite finished yet. They linger at the end of the line a little longer. The cashier looks at me and we exchanged a smile knowing that we're just going to have to wait it out.
I finally get my few items checked out and I'm out my way to the parking lot. As I pull my car out of the parking space, I'm extra careful to avoid the numerous cars that appear to be on auto-pilot. Hitting the open road, I finally breathe a sigh of relief......
kw
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