Morning Coffee

Like countless other Americans, I like coffee in the morning. No, actually I need coffee in the morning. Without it, I feel weak, tired and totally unprepared for whatever awaits me in the day ahead. It would be like Popeye without his spinach.

So, the morning ritual begins with me falling out of the bed and stumbling down the hallway with my eyes three quarters of the way closed. Sometimes, I’ll bump into Tina as she’s returning from the kitchen with her first morning cup. Like two zombies, we don’t speak. We just grunt and move on….

After the first cup, I begin to feel signs of life. But the second cup always winds me up like a toy soldier. I’m now ready to take on the day and won’t have to be rewound until the next morning.

I generally only need a couple cups in the morning but some people drink coffee all day. My Dad used to do this. When we worked together years ago, he would take a large thermos along every day. Even if we were working outside in the middle of the summer, he would still drink his hot coffee. He would sometimes offer me a cup. I’d tell him, “Dad, its 95 degrees and I’m sweating my ass off. Why would I want to drink hot coffee?” He would tell me that it would make me feel cooler. I never understood this.

When it comes to types of coffee, it can get overwhelming. There’s regular, decaf, espresso, cappuccino, latte, French vanilla, hazelnut, etc. I like to keep it simple. Call me boring, but I just want a straight-up coffee flavored coffee. If I had to pick a favorite, it would be Dunkin’ Donuts brand.

Occasionally, (not by my choice) I’ll join a colleague at Starbucks. I don’t understand how this place has become so popular. For one, the coffee is so expensive. One time, I bought a couple of cappuccinos (I was trying to look sophisticated) and it cost me about eight bucks. That’s crazy! And frankly, I don’t think it tastes any better than my dollar fifty cup of Dunkin’ Donuts coffee.

And if you order a large coffee at Starbucks, they’ll look at you like you're nuts. See, you’re supposed to say that you want a grande. And you have to pronounce it correctly, gron-day. What’s that all about? Just give me a large coffee flavored coffee, dammit!

On a flight home from Denver several years ago, the flight attendants were taking drink orders. Everyone was ordering Coke, water, beer or coffee. But a woman sitting across from me had to be different. So, she asked for a mocha latte. Huh? The flight attendant looked at her as if to say, “What do I look like, a freggin’ barista?” After being told that mocha lattes weren’t currently on the United Airlines menu, the woman asked for water. How do you go from chocolate coffee to water?

Everyone has their preference on how to prepare their cup of coffee. It usually boils down to cream, sugar, cream and sugar, and black. Some people might put cinnamon in it, but that’s just silly. I personally like a little cream and sugar (actually Splenda) in my coffee. Tina likes her coffee sweeter than George Michael in an old Wham video. I’m not kidding you, by the time she’s done loading up her cup with sugar, it’s got the consistency of Blue Cheese dressing. She almost has to drink it with a spoon.

If food is the gasoline in the human engine, then I guess you could say that coffee is the octane booster. With that, I’m ready for another cup!

KW